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yes, they can, but some cannot...and I'd hate to think of the chance I'd be taking with a stranger....sorry, I should have made that clearer. I really hope times have changed with younger mothers and they discuss these situations with their daughters at the right age. Our mothers did not...and we all agree, we were blind and so naive...it was wrong of parents to be so hush hush about sex, and treat it like it was wrong and a disease.
Alcohol and drugs can play some pretty nasty games with a kids head, and I'm talking in their early 20's.
I remember being at one frat party, with 3 other girlfriends, b/c we had a friend who was going to a college near us, so we were invited.
all the boys were drunk and we all felt very uncomfortable at the suggestions they were making, so we left...there were other girls there, with dates, but, we were the only ones without dates...when we walked out, we all agreed that their was a huge feeling of danger in the air. We were glad we left, and went on to some dance nearby.
anyway, I think there are some men who simply cannot stop...if they could, rape wouldn't be an issue.
You're very wrong - they COULD stop but they don't think they should or that they need to. You don't think there are men out there that either don't see themselves as rapists and others who just don't care? How naive are YOU?
We had just finished summer football practice, when she approached me wanting a ride home. Something felt off, but I went ahead and drove her home. The next morning, my Dad walks into my room with several police officers behind him. I was read my rights, placed in hand cuffs, and put in a police cruiser. The cops searched my room, took my dirty clothes from the day prior, and transported me to the police station. They asked me questions for hours, trying to cajole me into admitting that I raped her. Finally, about 3 hours later my parents showed up with a lawyer, and they gave up. I was transported to the county jail because juvenile detention was over capacity. After I was in processed, I went to a video monitor where I "saw" a judge. I was told that bail was denied because I was a threat to society. I spent my summer in jail. 47 days. My lawyer was finally able to convince the judge to let me out on house arrest. For the next 6 months I had an ankle monitor. I was kicked off the football team, and the wrestling team.
It wasn't until the trial started that cracks in her false allegation began to show. Of course there wasn't any physical evidence. Her word against mine. My lawyer showcased how her story changed. The details were different, from the first recorded allegation she made at the police station, to when she made her statement in court. Even her own state social worker testified that she would bend facts and the truth to suite her needs. She called her manipulative. I thank God that the jury saw through her lies, I was found not guilty. I can only imagine how horrible my life would have been otherwise. Even though I proved my innocence, I lost allot.
False allegations are serious, and should be treated that way. If we allowed the law to change to where a simple allegation put you in prison, no one would be safe. All it would take is for you to make someone mad, and boom, I got raped, and away you go.
It is very hard to imagine what you went through because of all the lies. Very good counter point to the feminist mafia who somehow think the women can never lie or exaggerate because they are women.
It sounds that the judicial system is also very biased against men... But at least you eventually had a fair trial.
I am curious why you did not sue the accuser for defamation. You have lost so much because of this episode. Or was it very expensive to start a new legal process?
You're very wrong - they COULD stop but they don't think they should or that they need to. You don't think there are men out there that either don't see themselves as rapists and others who just don't care? How naive are YOU?
How do you know, are you an expert on male sexuality? It is very difficult for a younger man to stop. The desire and need for sex is very intense in most young men. So some young might not be able to stop. That is why young women should ideally not change their mind once they agree to start having sex.
First of all, I'm tired of Republicans whining. They're the worst winners I ever saw.
But I'm tired of anyone saying that playing politics to win is just the game of Democrats. If that were true, Garland would be sitting on the Supreme Court right now.
Translation: "I don't have a coherent rebuttal for you. I am so consumed by politics that I will accuse others of being blinded by politics. But in the end, I have no real argument except what benefits my side at the moment."
Because you evidently can't read, let's recap:
-- I didn't vote for Trump.
-- I am not a Republican.
-- I am not a conservative.
How do you know, are you an expert on male sexuality? It is very difficult for a younger man to stop. The desire and need for sex is very intense in most young men. So some young might not be able to stop. That is why young women should ideally not change their mind once they agree to start having sex.
How do you know, are you an expert on male sexuality? It is very difficult for a younger man to stop. The desire and need for sex is very intense in most young men. So some young might not be able to stop. That is why young women should ideally not change their mind once they agree to start having sex.
Say what? I can't believe what I'm reading.
Might not be able to stop? Utter crap.
Difficult? Intense? Dear God. Who cares? You stop anyway. Wtf.
And other men agree with "better not change your mind!" Wtfffffffff
You're very wrong - they COULD stop but they don't think they should or that they need to. You don't think there are men out there that either don't see themselves as rapists and others who just don't care? How naive are YOU?
Quote:
Originally Posted by DefiantNJ
How do you know, are you an expert on male sexuality? It is very difficult for a younger man to stop. The desire and need for sex is very intense in most young men. So some young might not be able to stop. That is why young women should ideally not change their mind once they agree to start having sex.
I don't give a good g0d damn how hard it is to stop. "Once they agree"? When does HE think she has started to agree - when she says 'yes' to a kiss? When she says 'yes' to a date? When she says 'yes' to a conversation? That's delusional and you're in dangerous territory when you start this kind of logic. If you think men are animals who can't stop then I guess they should be shot like animals. Or maybe their parents can just train them properly?
You're the kind of guy pleading blue balls and expecting her to put you out of the misery you guilt her into believing she started. Nope - YOU started it by thinking you were entitled to sex.
I don't give a good g0d damn how hard it is to stop. "Once they agree"? When does HE think she has started to agree - when she says 'yes' to a kiss? When she says 'yes' to a date? When she says 'yes' to a conversation? That's delusional and you're in dangerous territory when you start this kind of logic. If you think men are animals who can't stop then I guess they should be shot like animals. Or maybe their parents can just train them properly?
You're the kind of guy pleading blue balls and expecting her to put you out of the misery you guilt her into believing she started. Nope - YOU started it by thinking you were entitled to sex.
I'm not sure if I'm all that sorry it happened to me.
I know, sounds crazy, right? But hear me out a sec. I learned from that. At 14, I learned that one does not simply go letting a guy come into your home, or being in private with him, or being around drunk horny guys, or any of that, if you are not 100% sure you'd be ok with it if you ended up having sex with the dude. Yes, OPTIMALLY consent can be withdrawn, and yes, what he did is wrong, and no I don't blame myself. But it taught me to take some responsibility for my circumstances in some pretty specific ways.
Between my increased situational awareness and risk management, AND sheer luck, I have not had my consent violated since then. Pollyanna I may be, but I do what I can to take the positive and the learning out of every single experience I have. I consider this lesson to be valuable. I gained insight in looking out for myself. Bit of street smarts, if you will.
The price for this wisdom? A bit of disgust. I often liken it to having once stepped in dog poo with a bare foot. Pretty gross, but you wash yourself and go on living. I didn't catch a disease. I didn't get pregnant. I didn't get beaten up or killed. And thankfully my assaulter isn't someone I ever had to see again, so I didn't have to confront the pain that some women do who are raped by celebrities, musicians, politicians, etc. I don't know how I'd feel if I had to see that guy's face on TV every day! But it wouldn't be good! Now considering all of that, though...I would say that weighing the value of the lesson against its cost, I got a pretty decent bargain, all in all.
Does it suck that we live in a world where a woman might see something like this in such a way? Oh hell yes. But such is the world we live in, and I'd rather be alive in it than dead in it. *shrug*
Some men, not all, but some men think way differently than woman do....I remember when I worked construction, before I started working with men, I was warned to never ever make a joke, with any kind of sexual connotation, b/c some men might take that as a come on...and to also remain the woman I was and not swear or try to act tough. I took that advice with me on the job, and it worked out just fine.
Again, when I was growing up, our mother's were embarrassed to talk about sex to us...and that's a great mistake, when mother's refuse to talk to their daughters about sex and dangers...sex is not a bad thing, and our mother's should have never done that to us, b/c it opened us all up to some pretty sticky situations that could have gone wrong. It is a mother's JOB and responsibility to make certain their children are well understand the topic and also the dangers....
When a woman is open to a situation where she accepts an invitation to be alone with a man who has been drinking, he might take it the wrong way....but when women are young and in college they do not understand the dangers.
Yes, you are wiser, but the situation could have been avoided completely if your mother would have been grown up and responsible enough to "not" do what she did putting you in danger. It could have been much worse. Thank Goodness it wasn't.
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