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Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 17 days ago)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina
Only weak and insecure seek other people approval.
They should work on their self esteem and confidence.
BTW: being rich and powerful doesn't make them feel secure, obviously.
That's just not true.
A person who is unable to register other people's approval and disapproval, and thus make quick behavioral changes to accommodate that feedback are socially inept, to the point of being unable to function in society.
Think autism.
If you are unable or unwilling to read social cues, and integrate feedback, you won't survive socially.
I know it sounds really "cool" to say I don't care what anyone else thinks of me, I get my self-esteem from within. If you actually insist on ignoring the social cues you're given, you will quickly run afoul of all your social relationships.
Social rejection actually registers in the pain center of the brain. People are not supposed to be "good" with being rejected by other humans - it's supposed to cause pain and cause a change in behavior, so the individual can survive.
Well, those who were “good” with their rejection by others - left Africa and established themselves in Europe!
No pain- no gain!
...I know it sounds really "cool" to say I don't care what anyone else thinks of me, I get my self-esteem from within. If you actually insist on ignoring the social cues you're given, you will quickly run afoul of all your social relationships
I think there are lots of good thoughts in these posts. Social pressures tend to force people to conform to accepted norms in order for them to be able to function normally among others.
But there are people, apparently, who pander on social media in order to get likes, or approval ticks, for their posts. Some boast or glory in their apparent blessedness. I don’t see many posts like this, or post things like this myself. If a “friend” posts irritating things, you can block permanently, or snooze the friend for 30 days.
I refuse to repost urban myths or incorrect or inflammatory material.
Social media is a tool. You can choose to use it, or not. But becoming enraged at how others use it is counter productive. How others use it does not impact you or me. How others use it says something about the posters themselves, more than anything else.
Well, those who were “good” with their rejection by others - left Africa and established themselves in Europe!
No pain- no gain!
I'm sure they still had plenty of social approval within their respective groups though.
I think the problem with social approval is that most people who try too hard end up creating the opposite effect, and people who don't try too hard (Bill Burr, Dave Chappelle ect) are more liked at the end of the day no matter what they say because people like genuinity.
It's a tricky subject, but I'll never argue that it's not important.
My BS degree was in Psychology. And we studied human motivation. But I don't remember ever a teacher stressing the approval of others, or conversely the disapproval of others as an influence on human behavior. But it sure is. People will absolutely exhausting themselves to gain approval. Even people who are very powerful and rich seem to be constantly concerned with others approval. To me, its a sad way to go through life.
My concern is Gods approval.
I think social media just magnifies peoples true selves. If they're already vain, then social media will allow them to turn up the volume x100 and be consumed by their own vanity. Whatever they are, eventually comes out. lol
My BS degree was in Psychology. And we studied human motivation. But I don't remember ever a teacher stressing the approval of others, or conversely the disapproval of others as an influence on human behavior. But it sure is. People will absolutely exhausting themselves to gain approval. Even people who are very powerful and rich seem to be constantly concerned with others approval. To me, its a sad way to go through life.
My concern is Gods approval.
Sad to say, you are right about the first - but, wow, then you go on to say the "right" thing might be to get the approval of a ether being that sits in judgement or whatever......
We had much simpler ways of putting any or all of this...before "likes". It's simply this....
Attention is Energy.
This then touches on many subjects including maturity, self-awareness and so called Free Will.
One reason you may be perplexed is that you may think most people walk around making actual decisions about how they react...or do not...to rewards. I'd say that people fall along a curve from perhaps about zero free will to a max. of maybe 30% (just to pick a number).
Children and immature of out-of-control adults do not know the difference between "good" attention and "bad" attention (or even neutral attention).
It takes a fairly strong personality to choose not to have your phone or computer making tones when things happen....and/or to not look at them or care about looking at them for most of the time.
If people had this so-called Free Will we wouldn't have almost 40% of Obese people in some places.
If you have access to the Netflix, you ought to watch Black Mirror episode "Nosedive" with Bryce Dallas Howard.
Yes, this is an issue that unfortunately is negatively impacting youths. On the flip-side there are folks like my wife who doesn't give a flip with others think about her...almost to malignant degree. She lacks sympathy but understands the social protocol enough to fake empathy. Of course if she cared too much about others, she wouldn't be able to be an effective mediator but I digress.
These sorts of people (like your wife) only do well in a society where use of violence is extremely tempered. Dealing with sociopaths requires the use of violence to be on the table. Sociopaths and psychopaths do respond to the threat of serious violence so long as the other side is capable of carrying it out and there is no mechanism in place to punish said use of violence (such as when nations use the threat agaisnt each other). There might be threat of war but not a one-sided smackdown (like a swat team just swooping and its over)
When use of violence is off the table due to laws and enforcement then the whole negotiation with a psychopath is fruitless and you should not even engage.
Social rejection actually registers in the pain center of the brain. People are not supposed to be "good" with being rejected by other humans - it's supposed to cause pain and cause a change in behavior, so the individual can survive.
It depends on the situation. Susceptibility to "what other people think" can be a good thing, but it can also leave one vulnerable to toxic peer pressure...
Those who do not look for approval from others are also criticized and cast out by just about everyone. Those who do not declare themselves as dedicated participants in any sort of organized religion are criticized as well. People seem to enjoy finding things wrong in others more than anything else.
Most of my friends aren't religious, not necessarily atheist as I am (although some certainly are) but not devout. I don't know where you live but Buffalo seems pretty standard northern to me in terms of how 'post-Christian' it is. Generational thing though too; millennials are documented as easily less religious than prior generations.
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