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But what if the bio-father knew and wanted it to stay secret? Whose rights take precedence - the son who wanted to know who his real father was, or the father who had a secret that he wanted to keep hidden? Why is the rights of one more important than the rights of the other?
I don't think that some genetic testing company gets to make the decision for us.
But what if the bio-father knew and wanted it to stay secret? Whose rights take precedence - the son who wanted to know who his real father was, or the father who had a secret that he wanted to keep hidden? Why is the rights of one more important than the rights of the other?
I don't think that some genetic testing company gets to make the decision for us.
The child should be allowed to know their truth. Everyone is entitled to a birth certificate; adoptees are not entitled to their real birth certificate unless the state they were adopted in has decided to open adoption records. It's not fair. Thankfully there is DNA now so that there aren't many secrets.
I know many birth mothers, they were never promised that their information wouldn't be given to the adoptee. It's the adoptee and adoptive parents who the agencies are trying to protect.
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Originally Posted by TwoByFour
Tell that to adoption agencies and IVF clinics. They protect the identity of the mother or the ones donating sperm or eggs all the time.
That can't be promised any more either due to DNA. There are also donor registries where donors and their offspring can register to find each other and siblings.
And for the most part, that is a good thing. It will be tough for some people and it will take some getting used to. Some families have a lot of 'splaining to do, others don't have all that many secrets.
I have somewhere around 6,000 DNA cousins on the testing platforms that I have used. One of those 5th or 6th cousins might have a horrific genetic disease that might be of interest to someone close to them but I'll never know because I can't access their health information and have no intention to go through 6,000 records if I could. Out of all of those "cousins" I recognize or actually know maybe a dozen and there might be 50 or less where we have an identified common ancestor several generations back. If an insurance company is going to somehow gain access to the records and try to hike up customer's premiums based on a 5th cousin (twice removed) with a genetic affliction they will be in court, as well as the DNA testing company, and will lose their customer base.
People blab more risk-related personal stuff all over Facebook and Twitter and Instagram than is likely to be found in DNA health files.
However, the situation involving DNA cousins is confusing and is likely to get even more so. What if Grampa was a sperm donor and contributed genetic material to thirty kids he never knew. Those thirty kids are half-siblings to his own kids and none of them know each other. He might easily have 120 unknown grandchildren who are half-cousins to his own family's grandchildren. That is in addition to any standard biological cousins who suddenly have a ton of unknown cousins and most likely don't know that Grampa or Uncle Bob was a sperm donor. All they see is a ton of unknown closely related people and start trying to figure out what was going on and how these people fit in the family tree.
Are DNA testing and/or these ancestry websites a privacy threat to a family's children or other family that did not volunteer their dna?
It's my DNA. I can use it as I see fit. I don't need people like you telling me what I can and cannot do.
If you're concerned about law enforcement, then stop committing crimes and you won't need to be concerned.
And, if I have near or distant relatives committing crimes, I want them off the streets and in prison where they belong or more preferably stripped of citizenship and deported.
One of the difficulties of keeping secrets is ensuring everybody, now and in the future, stays on board - further complicated by the need to predict up-and-coming technologies.
Secret-keeping is a dying sport.
It is hard keeping family secrets now. But it has always been hard. Someone always knows, and that someone might spill the beans under the right circumstances.
In terms of paternity, I think there are some men walking around worried about some past indiscretion flying up and hitting them in the face. But, lets face it, this sort of thing has been going on since forever.
The men who might get hurt the most are those who find out they are not the fathers of the children they raised. Imagine loving and raising a child who you find out later is not actually yours by blood. It has to be hard for the adult child, as well.
But there is no going back. The genie is out of the bag, so to speak. I might be in favor of more regulation than we currently have, but I can't imagine we will stop doing genetic tests.
It is hard keeping family secrets now. But it has always been hard. Someone always knows, and that someone might spill the beans under the right circumstances.
In terms of paternity, I think there are some men walking around worried about some past indiscretion flying up and hitting them in the face. But, lets face it, this sort of thing has been going on since forever.
The men who might get hurt the most are those who find out they are not the fathers of the children they raised. Imagine loving and raising a child who you find out later is not actually yours by blood. It has to be hard for the adult child, as well.
But there is no going back. The genie is out of the bag, so to speak. I might be in favor of more regulation than we currently have, but I can't imagine we will stop doing genetic tests.
As a child, I heard a story about a great uncle who was a senior official in Indonesia. The story was that he had a son with a local woman. When the son was 5 years old, he wanted to take the child to the Netherlands to not only provide a European education but to provide more opportunity in life. The mother took the child and hid because she didn't want to lose the child. My great uncle was unable to find the child so he returned to the NL alone. He never married and had no other children.
About 6 years ago I published genealogical information on my website. A descendant of my great uncle contacted me, from Indonesia, claiming that he had a daughter, not a son, and that she is the great granddaughter of that child. We went back and forth and she eventually proved that she was the descendant, that he did indeed have a daughter rather than a son.
He provided financially for that child throughout her life with his pension. The pension was delivered to a bank, and collected by the child's mother and later the child. This ensured that she and her descendants had a good quality of life with access to good education and opportunity in Indonesia.
In the last email I received from this relative, she wanted me to explain why my great uncle was unable to find the child that he wanted to take to the NL for education, and why it had to be at age 5 rather than later in life. It had an accusatory tone. I can't answer those questions about how life was almost 100 years ago. I provided her with many documents related to my great uncle's military and government career to add to her family history.
Point is that even without DNA people can appear out of the woodwork claiming to be part of a family, but it is not always beneficial to all parties. At first it was a surprise, then it was interesting, then it left me with a sense that her family felt they were wronged by an ancestor that I never met. I can't fix that situation, and I'm reluctant to continue the contact because of the accusatory tone.
At first it was a surprise, then it was interesting, then it left me with a sense that her family felt they were wronged by an ancestor that I never met. I can't fix that situation, and I'm reluctant to continue the contact because of the accusatory tone.
I guess these descendants don’t realize that they probably only exist because the daughter didn’t leave the country.
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