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In my case, yes. I am the oldest and the only child of my mother's first marriage. My folks divorced when I was 6, my mother remarried and had 2 more children with her new husband. Not only was the age difference a tough pill to swallow, but my 2 younger brothers got most of the attention and were sent to great schools, while I was put in a crappy school. My stepfather would tell me how I was "practical" rather than "academical", hence the fact that I was never pushed to go to school, while my 2 younger brothers both completed their degrees and are now successful.
Although I am not bitter anymore (well into my 30's now), the damage has been done. I have little self-confidence and relations with my family are virtually non-existent (don't speak to my brothers at all).
So in some cases, it can be worst being the oldest, especially if you end up pushed aside.
I don't know, but the eldest child certainly gets her picture taken more often. There are countless photos of my oldest sister as a baby and as a child. Then there are pictures of her with the next sister and separate pictures of the two of them. Then my brother, the first boy. Lots of pictures of him. I was fourth. There's like one crinkled black-and-white baby photo in existence.
In most families the eldest being born first is born when the parent are younger and least successful. So that seems pretty accurate except that some can be young at a critical time i their life during a downturn.But even these often trun out to be moire succcessful because they thrive when it ends.An example is some I know who were first seeking jobs in the middle of the 70's recession. They really prospered once the economy turned. many own their own successful business which I doubt evr would ahve except they did what they had to do and it worked out well for them.
I am the youngest w/ 3 brothers. My mom wanted a girl but gave up after just having boys. My older brothers used to pick on me & call me names esp if they had to take me places with them because my mother made them. I think my oldest brother gets a lot more favoritism & privileges because he is the first born.
In my case, yes. I am the oldest and the only child of my mother's first marriage. My folks divorced when I was 6, my mother remarried and had 2 more children with her new husband. Not only was the age difference a tough pill to swallow, but my 2 younger brothers got most of the attention and were sent to great schools, while I was put in a crappy school. My stepfather would tell me how I was "practical" rather than "academical", hence the fact that I was never pushed to go to school, while my 2 younger brothers both completed their degrees and are now successful.
Although I am not bitter anymore (well into my 30's now), the damage has been done. I have little self-confidence and relations with my family are virtually non-existent (don't speak to my brothers at all).
So in some cases, it can be worst being the oldest, especially if you end up pushed aside.
all the different answers and experiences so far prove that it is more about the people or parents and how they deal with thier children than about what number you are born. what one goes through as an eldest in one family maybe reversed in another family etc or totally different.
also, your incident has to do with mixed families which is a whole 'nother ball and wax. there is often a dark side to mixed families though i have to point out that there are good mixed families or where there are not serious issues or problems too. but many times, there are situations (again, because we are talking about character of people involved) where they mistreat or abuse stepchildren and even birth parents go along with it. still, overall, it all has to do with the character of the parents and thier personal values whether they were good or bad parents.
cant speak for all but 14 years diff between me and kid sister and brother. totally different style of child rearing, mine -- camp pendleton, theirs-- married with children al bundy.
all the different answers and experiences so far prove that it is more about the people or parents and how they deal with thier children than about what number you are born. what one goes through as an eldest in one family maybe reversed in another family etc or totally different.
also, your incident has to do with mixed families which is a whole 'nother ball and wax. there is often a dark side to mixed families though i have to point out that there are good mixed families or where there are not serious issues or problems too. but many times, there are situations (again, because we are talking about character of people involved) where they mistreat or abuse stepchildren and even birth parents go along with it. still, overall, it all has to do with the character of the parents and thier personal values whether they were good or bad parents.
Very good points. With "mixed families" as you put it, I would expect that the oldest child (of the first marriage) would be the one that gets the short end of the stick. I'm sure that many mixed families prove to be successful, but mine certainly wasn't.
Bottom line is that if you have multiple children, do your best to treat them equally and encourage them to find their personal "niche". Favoritism can prove to be damaging and such damage can often be permanent.
Its called the OMG someone should feel sorry for me because of the order of birth------of which *I* couldn't possible control thing.
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