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It is getting to where a perfectly good wedding gift is shoes for a 2 year old. I think I am also old school in thinking that it takes 2 married people to raise a child, however understand that with the divorce rate being so high that is impossible in this day and age. I feel alot of people want to take the easy way out of relationships and figure that marriage is doomed to fail so why bother, if that is the mindset they should figure raising a child by themselves is a whole lot more difficult. I am fortunate that I have been married for over 20 years and my son turned 16 on the 15th. I was raised by my mother who divorced my dad when I was in the 4th grade and since I saw how hard it was on everyone in the family, I would never have wanted that for my child.
If we all kept everything to ourselves and minded our own effing business then no one would ever know that in reality everyone should step up to the plate and be the adult and the parent .In reality every one would wait till they knew someone well before having sex with them or marrying them and as its 2010 they would use condoms or the pill if the urge was too great, so innocent children aren't born out of wedlock. Children feel hurt for life when they find out their father wouldn't marry their mother, no matter what their reason, marriage isn't just a religious thing, its not just a piece of paper, its so much deeper than that and love and respect has everything to do with two people committing to marriage to one another for the rest of their life,its more than "just someone to have sex with,""and if kids come along ,so what"Marriage is not an easy task ,compromise and giving of spirit and soul as well as love and caring,respect and kindness,understanding when needed and guidance when required.Marriage is a great thing of a man and a womens life and children deserve to born of marriage and raised with the solid comprehension that they are one of the family.We can have sex with anyone,we can use anyone for many years for many reasons but that can not and never will compare or even come close with what marriage entails and how secure marriage makes us all feel as a family.We are supposed to grow to be an improvement of our parents that shine on with our children becoming improvements of us.Marriage is and always will be the strongest of human bonds,We all need to marry for the right reasons and keep our vows, as that is what marrige is, sacred vows made to one another, that we each do not break.
See what I underlined? Your wrong. Children do not feel hurt for life unless people like you do everything within your power to humiliate them. There are countless couples that are together and are not married and they didn't need anything from you to recognize when and how to step up to the plate.
Ok, I think I am the owner of an unpopular opinion...
I mentioned it on another forum in a thread about Brad and Angelina.
I think they should have gotten married before having bio kids.
And I upset some people... I am sorry about that.
But it made me curious - am I really one of the last people in 2010 in the Western world who strongly believes in marriage before kids???
My best friend said it best...
"What's the big EFFING deal with marriage?" "The only difference is how you pay taxes"
Anyone who is stuck in the dark ages of marriage before children has obviously not evolved with the common thinking of the world around them. Just because your religion says that's how it should be, you think it's right? Force people to get married if they want to have children? What is more disturbing is the morons who have kids, and get married because they think it's the right thing to do...
Wedlock is a legal issue. Marriage is a relatively recent construct in human society. Wedlock was created to give the church and the state the power to intervene in situations where the birth of children is involved. It is completely optional in western society.
For many centuries, the state has even taken it upon itself to impose wedlock unilaterally on unwilling parents (common-law marriage), entirely for the state's own convenience. Wedlock exists for the use of the state and/or church, not for the spouses or the children.
Marriage has other ramifications, as well, hence the controversy over civil unions. But for the purposes of validating issue, the days of bastardy are over, at least in this country.
The Brangelinas are not a "normal" family. They have wealth and fame, which buys them more freedom of choice in how they do things (despite living in a fishbowl). Their children won't want for anything. And in Hollywood, most marriages don't last long, anyway.
Wealthy celebrities can well afford to be single parents. I've always questioned the reliance on nannies to help bring up their children; I'll admit that I'm inclined to think that if you need to hire someone full-time to help raise your family then why the hell bother???
I agree with you---it seems like media promotes it. The beauty of the system in the United States is these women can choose to get pregnant, live with baby daddy and then get welfare, food stamps and medical coupons while baby daddy may continue to work and the rest of us go to work every day and pay taxes to support that. I am not sure why the system in US rewards that???? I chose to get married. We have two children we had a couple years after getting married.
I do not believe there is any committment in a living together relationship. It is easier to walk away and choose not to work things out even if you do have a child.
We have had our struggles over the last 13 years--there have been days where I have to scrape pennies to get lunch money or buying school supplies broke us for a couple weeks. Bottom line is...We work and support our children with a small percentage of my income and every other tax paying person in the US that supports those mothers and allows them to be home without requesting the mother to look for work for 5 years so she can be home with the baby. Me....I had to go back to work so I could support my family without assistance from the government. It is not okay at all...I disagree with that choice and there should be something in place to monitor it.... I could go on and on but working in a medical facility and seeing insurance coverage and knowing family history I see it all the time. Not okay. If you decide to stop taking your birth control to get pregnant by a man then that is a man you should have long before decided you want to be that man for a long time, share your life, be married...etc. You can pretty much get birth control for free now.
What is the divorce rate like 50% now here in the U.S. or something.
Hardly anyone keeps their vows anymore- so sad. People give up to easily.
My mom was older when she had me and had me out of wedlock.
Her parents were furious and wanted her to abort me since she wasn't married but she didn't listen to them- my mom has been a wonderful mom and she's never been on welfare.
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Welfare Mommies
