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I'll ignore the slap fight and just leave a comment on the OP.
on one hand:
1) Americans fear that someone out there might be getting any money when they don't deserve it. this doesn't apply to their giving money that goes to other countries, unless by some odd chance that that country is mexico.
2) Many Americans don't manage their money well due to mass consumerism and pushing of credit.
3) Americans don't form as close of, or as many friendships as they used to. We focus so much on the individual that we neglect caring for each other as a society.
Therefore, Americans, in general, don't like to give money because they focus on the faults of other Americans and think if they just tried harder, they wouldn't need the money. Its easier to idealize someone who lives halfway across the planet than it is your friend who smokes a pack a day.
On the other hand:
My friend owes me $55. She needed $60 for an emergency car repair and without it, her family would be unable to go to grandma's for christmas and it meant a lot to her daughters. I've gotten $5 back since then, but I know she's the type that pays back, no matter how long it takes. I've had other friends that I loaned money to and I'll never see that money again. I'll borrow money if I can afford it, but those who don't pay back never see another dime. I personally feel there's more important things in life than a big pile of money. I guess that makes me unusual, but so be it.
Joei,
I think you misunderstand American's. It isn't that we don't like to give money to people. Look at all of the charities nation wide that take in millions of dollars a year. If American's didn't give, that wouldn't be the case. I think most people will give money if there is a real reason for it. Some looney tune like yourself coming along and begging is just not reason enough. I hate street beggars, and I don't think you are any better than that. I give gifts to friends, I buy meals for friends, and I've even given a fair amount of cash to some friends, but not because they asked for it or expected it. I did it because I wanted to. I did it because I liked them. From what I've read of your posts, I don't like you. I don't know if you are a prostitute and you do sexual favors for money or if you think other people owe you something. Whatever you think, you need to think again. Most people don't like leeches like you. You mentioned that people from other countries give money to strangers, so why don't you move? No one is going to find anyone stranger than you...
When you loan people money, it changes the dynamic of a relationship. I give to people what I think they need.
I don't loan money to friends or family. I have owed money to my family and it always made me feel like a ******* when I would show up empty handed.
I once had a neighbor that lost his job, yet every night, he was drinking Heineken and Crown Royal, not cheap stuff. He complained about having lost his job and wondering how he was going to feed his kid. I went and bought him $200 bucks worth of groceries and a $50 dollar gift card for him to spend as he pleased. The last thing I wanted to do was give him money only to see him a week later with more Crown Royal.
If someone owes me money, or even when I give a personal friend charity, it makes me feel as if I have the right to question what they use the money for and that amounts to me wanting to control another person. I don't like that feeling. It changes the dynamic.
Some people feel patronized when they get a hand-out. I feel put back when friends have flat out asked me to loan them a few hundred bucks till payday. I may have done it, but as a friend, I sat down with them and asked how they got there. 100 percent of the time, they didn't budget properly, squandered money on lifestyle choices and ignored their basic needs.
The last thing I want to do is give advice to a friend about how they live their life, but when put in that position, I am always willing to grab a beer and talk about what's going on.
When you owe someone money, you feel like a slave. If you cheat a friend out of money, well, then that goes without saying...you're an *******.
I think a lot of it comes from understanding just what goes into getting money, earning it if you will. If you work hard for it it has more value to you and you are less likely to part with it. Then too, many people look on money as security and are keenly aware of what it takes to afford them the things they want and the lifestyle they choose.
And maybe some people are never given any money so they don't know what its like to receive it so they don't see the need to give. Or they do give to their churches or clubs or organizations or charities and don't like to just give money to individuals.
I know I generally look down on pan handlers although obviously physically challenged folk will get some change.
My brother and I had lunch at a all you can eat chinese buffet. The total bill was less than $15 and I tipped the two ladies who waited on us $4. We served ourselves but they took our plates and refilled our water glasses, were very polite and I was impressed they spoke english. People that don't tip shouldn't eat out although if you want a good tip you have to be polite, give good service and make the patron feel welcome.
This is amazing, Joel, rather bluntly, explains that he is not talking about LOANING money, and most of you come right back and keep on taling about loaning money.
Well, in the very first post she said:
Quote:
A phenomenon I've noticed over the months of being a 'broke college student' (not that I am, but I have been!) has made me numb to the fact that many middle-upper class people who claim to have great jobs with lots of money...will never lend (or give) money to someone!
P.S. dont give me non of that economy crap. I remember when the economy was fine back in 2005 or so, and a lady I used to work for refused to pay me with cash, it was always a check. Again...afraid to give cash.
I guess, by your philosophy, you would be called a beggar.
People sould just hand over their money because you asked? What planet do you live on? It has nothing to do with fear, it's called intelligence.
As for the cash vs check; the only reason a person would want to be paid in cash is so they don't have to pay taxes.
Americans aren't afraid of anything. The people of this country are the most generous people on earth.
The important thing is to never tell anybody else that you have given money to anyone. If nobody knows about your generosity, nobody will bother to ask you for any. By, the way, of the people I've given money to, nobody has ever asked for it. I just knew of their circumstances and offered it.
If we push the envelope a bit more, perhaps it will start telling us to slice our wrists, take a bunch of pills........the regular old drill. I mean seeing how all of this is "worthy" of GD material. The only thing we are missing is the guy who shows up with an email addy asking for a date.
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