Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Considering the long history of child abuse the world over I'd guess that each society has had their own take on what it means to be a parent. In our (US) society we've seen the rule of law protecting children from the ravages of labor, neglect, and ignorance. The sad part is that it took the force of law to set children free from all of that.
In each generation there seems to be the notion that things gone wrong will need to be be set right in our own lifetime. Social evolution has already drastically changed the way in which children are regarded, more time is needed in order to further the cause of childrens rights to the point that society as a whole can interfere with bad parenting without causing some to go berserk over what they consider to be the trampling of the parents rights.
As some of the posts on here have indicated, we do have a large difference of opinion on just about everything that happens in our society, that said, we also have raving maniacs that seem to be confused with regard to those political constructs they insist will contribute negatively to the problem. Children around the world are subject to the peer concensus and advertising that surrounds them, it doesn't matter that they live in Russia or the US, they are still being directed by the popular culture of mindless consumerism.
People need something to live up to, we can't carry on much longer thinking that the good life is to be found in self indulgence and a careless attitude about others. Family gets mentioned a lot in these kind of threads but I think most people have forgotten what foundation requirements are needed for the formation of good solid families, the picture gets larger when we look at how families are intertwined with the community, schools, work, and a sense of interdependency.
We just can't expect to have the family survive as a single solitary entity, it needs community. Community needs a supportive state, states need a supportive federation of common interest, children are a part of this larger group, to see their plight as something apart is ignoring the needs of the overall weave of humanity.
In our (US) society we've seen the rule of law protecting children from the ravages of labor, neglect, and ignorance. The sad part is that it took the force of law to set children free from all of that.
.
In capitalist countries, child labor was too valuable to relinquish. Marx wrote strongly against child labor, but it took America about 75 years to finally agree that Marx was right.
In capitalism, things don't happen because they are right. Things happen because they are profitable.
Child car seats and T-ball league helmets enrich manufacturers a great deal more than they protect children. If they didn't, we wouldn't have them. Kids hitting a ball off a tee need helmets? Give me a break.
A very high number of children are growing up with little or no positive guidance. Many are in homes characterized by violence, anger, debt, fear, malnutrition, ignorance, substance abuse, crime, insecurity, Rx dependency, untreated clinical insanity. Some have absolutely no positive influence except raw maternal instinct being brought to bear on them to protect them from clear and impending death.
Terms like "very high number" and "some" are extremely vague/subjective - of course if just one kid suffers it's tragic, but I think you're making it sound more dramatic/worse than it really is.
Quote:
A third of all kids are dropping out of high school,
For example......pls do some research and you'll find it's not even half that (and has been on a downward trend for some time).
Quote:
and some high schools are a worse environment than the dysfunctional homes. Many of the brightest are depressed and suicidal, lacking direction, depending only on each other for life counseling.
This is also vague and/or subjective.
Quote:
What can be done, and who can do it, in order to try to salvage these kids and keep them from just perpetuating the same cycle generation after generation? Please don't insult our intelligence by saying "personal responsibility" on the part of the parents is needed. It is already a given that that is not present. We need a solution that will work in spite of an absence of personal responsibility.
Frankly I think it's insulting people's intelligence to try and dismiss that personal responsbility on the part of the parents WHICH IS WHERE THE FAULT LIES MOST OFTEN BY FAR.
Sorry jt you make some great posts, but this isn't one of them. You're waaaaay off-base IMO.
First, let me say before I start pointing fingers by saying I am not perfect, parenting is the most difficult task in the world, easily the most challenging difficult job in the world.
Every week, my wife and I do our little shopping in stores, we notice some errors by parents and here are my observations. Unanswered screaming kids, roaming kids, undisciplined children, and disrespectful parents. Unanswered screaming kids: pertains to those events where a child is screaming bloody murder and the parent ignores it. I have kids, been there, down that. Talk to the child or remove that child. Don't ignore it, take control of the situation. I did! Roaming kids: On every 5th visit to the store I see a child roaming around unchecked with no parental guidance. This lack of parental control leads me to think this occurs all the time in the child's life. My kids are much older so they walk about but I still know where they are, by doing drive-byes. Undisciplined children: Before the store trip, the parent should explain the rules such as you will get one candy IF YOUR GOOD. But let them feel special by picking the candy. Before walking into the store remind the child about the rules. Funny part, kids actually like the attention parents give them, helps them feel safe. Kids have to know the rules. Explain why we have rules. Its not to be jerks but to let them know for example running with chart is dangerous because someone might get hurt. Disrespectful parents: This all ties togethor. Parenting is 24/7 job. Parents who freely lie in bed then lack the needed effort to properly care for their children are actually disrespecting all parents. We need to bring back, holding the door open for the next guy, saying hello, thank you and good bye, ETIQUETTE. All these things I identified are seen by our little kids who follow our lead. Believe me, I'm as immature as the next guy, if not more, but we are being monitored 24/7. Kids learn from parents, bad or good.
This could be an endless list but I will stop. Below is a short list I followed while I raise my children. I know I might sound like a heathen but whatever. Spanking, love, pats on back, and discipline.
Spanking: I know in today's world, spanking is unacceptable but I did not use it or mean it to inflict pain or use it just for the h3ll of it. I have 3 children who I actually haven't spanked since their were 5 or 6, at least 10 years. Plus, I did not use man power on my kids, it was enough to get their attention. Then, after the session, I explained my reasoning and stated I loved them.
Love: I say I love you everyday. My boys (freshman and 6th grader) feel a little "iffy" but I am their Dad. I am not a freak. Theres nothing wrong telling your Pops you love him with a kiss on the cheek and hug before bedtime. We exchange heart felt I love you before bedtime. My oldest, of course my daughter, is always quick to catch before I forget.
Pats on the back: I am tough as nails on my children, but at the sametime, I will pat them on the back for a good effort. They deserve that especially since I do set high standards.
Discipline: Means following through on a task from start to finish...when no one is around. It's easy when Dad is breathing down their neck but what happens when your not around. In addition, to me, discipline applies to all the sex, drugs and rock & roll temptations. I explain its easy to fall to those temptions but a man has responsibility.
Salvaging our kids requires alot of work. Today's kids are raised by the TV, video games, friends, etc. Somewhere along the line, our children are left behind. The key is caring. My little list that I follow is nothing special. Matter of fact, some parents might feel my actions are asinine, but guess what, my children know I care. They know, I will be there through thick and thin. That's my long winded answer, caring. Caring will salvage my children. It's not, more school programs, add more money here, add money there, teachers lacking resources or the economy stinks. Parents need to stand up and care for your children. That's how we salvage our children!
:THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE:
And on the other end of the spectrum.........
Can I buy you a drink?? PS pls reproduce as much as possible, goodness knows we have enough of the morons doing it.
Terms like "very high number" and "some" are extremely vague/subjective - of course if just one kid suffers it's tragic, but I think you're making it sound more dramatic/worse than it really is.
.
If you have objective data on how many children are in homes characterized by violence, anger, debt, fear, malnutrition, ignorance, substance abuse, crime, insecurity, Rx dependency, untreated clinical insanity, and/or any comboination thereof, to prove that it is not "a very high number", please feel free to offer a useful criticism.
Figures vary on graduation rates by definition. Your figure (16%) is quoted, but so is mine:
In 1996, the national on-time graduation rate was 66.4 percent; by 2006, that figure had risen to 69.2 percent. http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/2009/0609/p02s13-usgn.html
In capitalist countries, child labor was too valuable to relinquish. Marx wrote strongly against child labor, but it took America about 75 years to finally agree that Marx was right.
In capitalism, things don't happen because they are right. Things happen because they are profitable.
Child car seats and T-ball league helmets enrich manufacturers a great deal more than they protect children. If they didn't, we wouldn't have them. Kids hitting a ball off a tee need helmets? Give me a break.
I'm going to help you on that one, clean your ears out and listen real close....
The helmet in T-Ball is more for that the batter is not hit in the head by a thrown ball while he is running to the base after hitting the ball off of the Tee.....
I'm going to help you on that one, clean your ears out and listen real close....
The helmet in T-Ball is more for that the batter is not hit in the head by a thrown ball while he is running to the base after hitting the ball off of the Tee.....
You're welcome.....
There is no player in the wide wonderful world of Tee-ball who can throw a ball hard enough to even make a scared kid cry, much less cause a concussion.
There are so many problems to address; wide-ranging, comprehensive welfare reform is needed if we truly want to 'salvage our children' as you put it. Our education system, in particular, must be dramatically improved... the US currently ranks 24 out of the top 25 developed countries in terms of primary and secondary education! Part of the problem is the way we fund schools... since it's primarily through local property and sales taxes, schools in wealthy areas are funded far better than schools in poor areas meaning that children who are already lacking in relative opportunity due to poverty (and the associated increased likelihood of coming from a 'broken home') are further constrained in their life opportunities by a relatively inadequate education. As such, I think we need to federalize the funding of public schools so that all schools are funded equally according to the number of students they have.
Additionally, major increases in school funding generally are needed. More incentives need to be provided to encourage college students to major in education and become teachers: debt-forgiveness, bigger teacher salaries, etc. would be beneficial in this regard.
All students should also be guaranteed the right to attend a 4-year public university free of charge, as long as a certain GPA can be maintained. More generous funding opportunities should also be provided for poorer students wanting to attend private universities and for graduate students. Better funding for public universities is needed, too.
The reliance on standardized tests needs to be relaxed, greater emphasis needs to be placed on critical thinking, writing, math, science, etc. We need smaller class sizes, access to better technologies in the classroom...
The school year needs to be extended; divide the school year into trimesters with a two week break between each or something similar. Provide more extracurricular activities, better remediation programs, better programs for addressing 'problem' children. Don't allow students to drop out until they are 18.
But, of course, education isn't enough. Equal educational opportunity, massive increases in education funding, free college.... all this will go a long way, but some children will continue to suffer as a result of poverty and broken homes. As such, better welfare programs targeting children, particularly those in low-income households, are needed. Provide guaranteed childcare for working parents, increase paid parental (as opposed to maternal-only) leave for newborn children (as many European countries do). Have better, refundable tax credits for children. Free healthcare for children, too...
More generally, fighting poverty is critical. Poverty is cyclical; children growing up in poverty are likely to remain poor as they have far fewer life opportunities and have to work much harder than wealthier children in order to 'make it.'
Thank you ! Everything you said is so true and I totoally agree w/u.
Parents and especially the poor need to be encouraged and helped out to get back on track. It's not easy for people to dig themselves out of poverty. And when people feel despair and have no one who cares or helps it can be a very tough-I know I have been a single parent for a while now and although i am "poor" and never had any family to back me up I have a strong spirit and was able to work hard and be very tough and lay things out honestly with my kids how things are. We are not perfect but who is? I try to help others when I can and teach my kids to be kind and not judge.
Unfortunely, many things you brought up to help people like free daycare is something that just infuriates some people in this country. They don't want anyone getting any kind of help and would rather see them living in a cardboard box in an alley than give them a dime towards any kind of assistance.
here in Az they aleardy cut down on child care assistance so if a parent cant afford child care the kids end up alone or the parent don't work. they also cut out kidscare which helped kids that fall into the crack of not habving poor enough parents and having parenets that just barely make too much to qualify for health care by the state! Oh, and if that wasn't enough they arre also cutting out all day kindergarden.
It's bad, until people really start caring about each other more I don't see any major changes happening soon.
Thank God we have Obama, but even when he tries to help the poor people start cryign out "Marxist!" "socialist" and on and on.....
There is no player in the wide wonderful world of Tee-ball who can throw a ball hard enough to even make a scared kid cry, much less cause a concussion.
I can see you don't get out to much.....Or have never had any kids.... and if you don't like why they wear them, then that's your problem... I'm just letting you know why they do... You made one of your stupid ass remarks and I replied to it....
A very high number of children are growing up with little or no positive guidance. Many are in homes characterized by violence, anger, debt, fear, malnutrition, ignorance, substance abuse, crime, insecurity, Rx dependency, untreated clinical insanity. Some have absolutely no positive influence except raw maternal instinct being brought to bear on them to protect them from clear and impending death.
A third of all kids are dropping out of high school, and some high schools are a worse environment than the dysfunctional homes. Many of the brightest are depressed and suicidal, lacking direction, depending only on each other for life counseling.
What can be done, and who can do it, in order to try to salvage these kids and keep them from just perpetuating the same cycle generation after generation? Please don't insult our intelligence by saying "personal responsibility" on the part of the parents is needed. It is already a given that that is not present. We need a solution that will work in spite of an absence of personal responsibility.
One of the things that needs to happen is that kids need to be taken seriously. I encounter kids that take weapons to school. The most common reason that I have encountered is that they have been threatened and the threats go beyond the self but extend to their family. The kid is terrified. They may have been asked to join a gang and refused to. Does this mean the kid is the anti-christ? No, it means that he was really scared. If you investigate far enough, you usually find that the kid has been through all of the routes he was told to take. They have usually already been to school officials more than once about the threatening individuals. Nothing has been done. Now they feel isolated and on their own. They are trying to handle it on their own.
They need to be taken seriously when they are depressed, especially, if they encounter the little cliques at school that make it a point to make everyone else feel miserable. They can't see that at some point junior high and high school will end and this stuff won't matter. We can't brush it aside either as not relevent.
As adults we need to figure out what their interests are. What are their dreams, on an individual level. Sports is great for some but not for all. So, if you have a kid that wants to be a writer then you feed that to them. Kids can't see too far in the future and they have to learn how to hold a vizual in their head. They need to keep that in their head and see it as a way out. They need to be constantly reminded that there is a future. We need to be aware that we have some really bright kids that WILL lower themselves to hang out with some kids that have real problems and will get them into trouble.
Lastly, we need to realize that kids make stupid decisions. They make decisions that we do not even think about. For instance, kids are walking down the street and they find a gun. As an adult, your going to think, holy crap somebody threw away the gun for a reason run like hell. Not kids. They will pick that gun up and throw it in their backpack and forget about it. Or, a kid jumps in his friends car and they go for a joy ride. They get stopped and all of a sudden the kid finds out that the car was stolen. Sometimes the kid with the stolen car has no idea and a cousin let him take it out. Or, there are three 17 year olds and a 19 year old. The 19 year old has dope on him and takes it out and throws it on the floor and denies it is his. You could drug test all three 17 year olds and its negative (much later in the game) but they all go to jail or my favorite move: the 19 year old says that he is already on probation and talks the 17 year old into saying it was his. Even, simple stuff like a kid gets picked on and then fights back and then goes to jail.
Many parents do not even dream of telling their kids, hey if you see a gun on the ground do not touch it. If your friend pulls up in a car then ask if it is stolen. Do a pat down on your friends and find out if they are carryng dope or a gun. Do not ever take the fall for someone. Hey, here are your Miranda rights and if your ever arrested or stopped, do not run. Give your correct name, date of birth, address and phone number and parents name. Do not talk back. Do not swear. Kids run and lie when they are scared.
None of this addresses the kids that kill or deal or rob or are hard core gang bangers. This merely addresses those kids that get a really bad rap and have the capacity to go either way. Really delicate moments at hand where one or two adults could make or break the kids. I don't think that people realize that when a kid messes up then every adult will say something to him/her. Parents, grandparents, parent's friends, the busdriver, the police officer at school, teachers, coaches, principles, counselors, cops. That kid is going to hear about it everyday for a long time and many of them are not even going to stop long enough to find out what is really going on with the kid or why the event happened and the kid is going to feel like he/she is wrong in the way they tie their shoes.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
PS pls reproduce as much as possible, goodness knows we have enough of the morons doing it. 
