What role does the absent father play?

[Devans0]

! look at the people around me and see patterns. My wife grew up with a fantastic father, and a mother that had her own baggage and emotional challenges. From him, she learned to cherish and love true men. Twenty one years married, and I try to follow his footsteps. I am lucky to have found her and to have met him.

My father was trapped by alcohol, but did the best he knew how. He grew up very rough. His best was better than he ever got, still meant emotionally detached and alternating between abusive and absent. I struggle with being disciplined from that, and am much more comfortable around women than men.

There is a playfulness with fathers that teaches risk-taking in appropriate and healthy ways. Mothers are often too protective and stifle that. Just my opinion.

[Ralph_Kirk]

Originally Posted by Devans0

My father was trapped by alcohol, but did the best he knew how. He grew up very rough. His best was better than he ever got, still meant emotionally detached and alternating between abusive and absent. I struggle with being disciplined from that, and am much more comfortable around women than men.

That was an episode of "God, the Devil, and Bob" (which had more depth than most people thought).

There is a playfulness with fathers that teaches risk-taking in appropriate and healthy ways. Mothers are often too protective and stifle that. Just my opinion.

A good dad knew how to give his children those "don't tell your mother" experiences.

[Moe'sTavern]

My dad was always too wrapped up in his own selfishness and childhood issues to really care about certain things that were going on. As far as I was concerned, he was absent; even though he was physically there.

[tijlover]

Originally Posted by dusk99

In my case I feel it made me less manly. I grew up with only my mother and sisters and today have a hard time relating to other males. Single moms should realize how damaging it is for boys to grow up with no father figure.

I had a father, but didn't have a father. He owned his own business, worked at it 7 days a week, it was all-consuming to him. So how much difference would it have been if you're father had been, say a workaholic?

The problem with this is this type of behavior is it can be passed onto the offspring. My brother followed into my Dad's footsteps, works 7 days a week, owns his own business. My sister isn't much different, owns her own business as well, but a little less consumed by it. Me? I've also had my own business, from time to time, but I'm the more laidback of the 3!