Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My HO is that involving multiple people (of any sex) in a relationship is recipe for exploitation and insecurity.
While polygamy may have been a workable solution for women before they gained economic freedom from men, it makes little sense,IMHO,for a modern woman to suborn her interests to the interests on a larger group.
And given that jealousy and insecurity are serious issues in more traditional relationships, why would anybody enter into a polygamous relationship not believing that they would be serious issues there as well?
As far as,polyandry,I'm afraid I don't see the benefits in it for a man. Personally the thought of sharing somebody I love in a sexual relationship is repugnant to me and I'm under the belief that there are more than enough women out there to make sharing one not a necessity.
Those are my opinions and they are just that...opinions.
If polygamy is legal in your country and agrees w/ your sensibilities..then more power to you.
I just think that multiple relationships are exploitative of the weaker partners in the relationships and frankly pointless when you have a selection of other partners available.
I agree, and these are reasons why you and I wouldn't have a relationship bigger than two... but we don't speak for everybody. You are right, these are just opinions - and are not grounds for taking action against consenting adults living their lives the way they want.
From a strictly financial standpoint, polygamy (or polyandry) makes a lot of sense. The more working adults you can bring into a household, the more monetary success you'll have. One mortgage with 2 incomes, or one mortgage with three? Pay for daycare for 4 kids, or have a third spouse in charge of that? The only increase in costs are variable costs (food, water bill, etc).
Emotionally, I couldn't do it. My marriage is successful because he and I share things that no one else knows. There is huge amounts of trust there. I don't see it working if you added a third person to the mix.
That being said, I know someone who is in a relationship. Wife, husband, boyfriend. Wife splits her time between the bedroom of husband and boyfriend. The men both work, she takes care of all the household stuff. There are no children. It works, as far as I can tell. She's happy, the guys seem to be happy, everyone knows their role and what is expected of them.
I don't think the government needs to recognize it, but to be honest, I don't think they need to recognize ANY kind of marriage. We should do away with tax laws for married people, the government shouldn't need to know if i'm single or married or divorced. My church can marry me--the government shouldn't have anything to do with it. Today's society doesn't require marriage. You can live with your partner(s) and no one says boo about it, so if you want to add a third adult to your household, why not?
Why do you think that a man and a woman who choose to live their own private lives together for their own mutual benefit, without asking first for your and your pastor's approval, have no "respect for life or anything else"?
My quote are meant to be individual,nothing to do with religon.You are taking me out of context.What I am answering on polgamy is no better nor worse than living together to each his own.Living together can be benificial financially in some cases as there are penalty's.
I see nothing wrong with consenting adults living in any arrangement that works for them. I do see a big problem, however, with codifying polygamy as an "official" form of marriage.
From a strictly financial standpoint, polygamy (or polyandry) makes a lot of sense. The more working adults you can bring into a household, the more monetary success you'll have. One mortgage with 2 incomes, or one mortgage with three? Pay for daycare for 4 kids, or have a third spouse in charge of that? The only increase in costs are variable costs (food, water bill, etc).
Emotionally, I couldn't do it. My marriage is successful because he and I share things that no one else knows. There is huge amounts of trust there. I don't see it working if you added a third person to the mix.
That being said, I know someone who is in a relationship. Wife, husband, boyfriend. Wife splits her time between the bedroom of husband and boyfriend. The men both work, she takes care of all the household stuff. There are no children. It works, as far as I can tell. She's happy, the guys seem to be happy, everyone knows their role and what is expected of them.
I don't think the government needs to recognize it, but to be honest, I don't think they need to recognize ANY kind of marriage. We should do away with tax laws for married people, the government shouldn't need to know if i'm single or married or divorced. My church can marry me--the government shouldn't have anything to do with it. Today's society doesn't require marriage. You can live with your partner(s) and no one says boo about it, so if you want to add a third adult to your household, why not?
( regarding your last paragraph ) we better change the way SS works .
No spousal benefits for the one,two,3, or more partners shacking up.
From a strictly financial standpoint, polygamy (or polyandry) makes a lot of sense. The more working adults you can bring into a household, the more monetary success you'll have. One mortgage with 2 incomes, or one mortgage with three? Pay for daycare for 4 kids, or have a third spouse in charge of that? The only increase in costs are variable costs (food, water bill, etc).
Emotionally, I couldn't do it. My marriage is successful because he and I share things that no one else knows. There is huge amounts of trust there. I don't see it working if you added a third person to the mix.
That being said, I know someone who is in a relationship. Wife, husband, boyfriend. Wife splits her time between the bedroom of husband and boyfriend. The men both work, she takes care of all the household stuff. There are no children. It works, as far as I can tell. She's happy, the guys seem to be happy, everyone knows their role and what is expected of them.
I don't think the government needs to recognize it, but to be honest, I don't think they need to recognize ANY kind of marriage. We should do away with tax laws for married people, the government shouldn't need to know if i'm single or married or divorced. My church can marry me--the government shouldn't have anything to do with it. Today's society doesn't require marriage. You can live with your partner(s) and no one says boo about it, so if you want to add a third adult to your household, why not?
I'm of the same mind about marriage, but, until the state gets out of all marriage agreements, we should accept everyone, not just those that the moral majority agree with.
People instantly think of those 13 year old girls, wearing frontier clothing, married to 60 year old perverts.
Ever driven through Colorado City, AZ? That's EXACTLY what you'll see. My friends and I got chased out of there by a big, old truck when we ventured in to people watch.
Did you even bother to read all of my posts?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Children can help support a family financially. Growing crops, tending livestock, all of that has financial benefits. Hell, from the time I was 5, I was mowing the yard, cleaning the house, and helping my dad and grandfather at work.
Actually, yes...I started with your first. Didn't miss a one. I read your children can help support the family financially...work them in the fields, etc.
I also read you blurb on post 23, you still haven't made your case that YOU are supporting all the kids you would rear.
Just so you know the MAN UP didn't just reference someone who wants to live in his wifely harem...the rant would be the same to ANY couple who procreates without the finances to support their family. Don't EXPECT the kids to support YOU, that is the point and all too many times in these situations (too many kids without the funds to afford them) the tax payer is going to foot the bill for them. It isn't fair to society OR the children you rear. You wanna clip it before you stick it...have all the wives you want and then I would say...It IS consensual. If you are procreating...NO, it is NOT.
My point is that you are being selfish. You are looking for your OWN gratification and satisfaction/fantasy fulfillment. You are fooling yourself if you think women are satisfied sharing "you" or any other one man. One man could NEVER really satisfy more than one woman. Most men cannot even keep ONE woman satisfied. I always say...find a man who is really happy with ONE WOMAN...and I will lay money on a bet that HE REALLY KNOWS HOW TO SATISFY HIS WOMAN !! You see a woman who is satisfied by her man will keep her MAN satisfied and not wanting more than what he already has.
Enjoy your harem...just keep the kids out it! That is what I am telling you.
Actually, yes...I started with your first. Didn't miss a one. I read your children can help support the family financially...work them in the fields, etc.
I also read you blurb on post 23, you still haven't made your case that YOU are supporting all the kids you would rear.
Just so you know the MAN UP didn't just reference someone who wants to live in his wifely harem...the rant would be the same to ANY couple who procreates without the finances to support their family. Don't EXPECT the kids to support YOU, that is the point and all too many times in these situations (too many kids without the funds to afford them) the tax payer is going to foot the bill for them. It isn't fair to society OR the children you rear. You wanna clip it before you stick it...have all the wives you want and then I would say...It IS consensual. If you are procreating...NO, it is NOT.
My point is that you are being selfish. You are looking for your OWN gratification and satisfaction/fantasy fulfillment. You are fooling yourself if you think women are satisfied sharing "you" or any other one man. One man could NEVER really satisfy more than one woman. Most men cannot even keep ONE woman satisfied. I always say...find a man who is really happy with ONE WOMAN...and I will lay money on a bet that HE REALLY KNOWS HOW TO SATISFY HIS WOMAN !! You see a woman who is satisfied by her man will keep her MAN satisfied and not wanting more than what he already has.
Enjoy your harem...just keep the kids out it! That is what I am telling you.
Since when is asking your children to help the family with some chores, and light yard work for neighbors for a few bucks a bad thing?
If you had read all of my posts, you would have seen that I was answering someone elses question.
That question being, "How do children help the family".
Apparently this person had never heard of children helping grow food in a garden, or mowing a yard, or watering cattle, or even washing dishes.
I was raised to believe that when you're in a family, you do what needs to be done, no matter what your age is. It instills work ethics into your children, that life is hard, and hard work is its own reward.
Guess those values are lost on America today. How sad.
You think the goal of a polygamist marriage is to have as many babies as possible? Doesn't that fall into the category of David Karesh, et al?
There can be as many people married as possible and they don't have to include children.
I think people, by nature, are monogamous.Yeah? What gave you that conclusion?The 60% divorce rate? The millions of people who are right this minute cheating on their spouses? The statistics that consistently show married people are for the most part unhappy in their relationship? Swans mate for life as do some other animals. IMO, people are more monogamous than anything else, but in the inflated ego of the man, some think they should sow their seed farther than most. Most men and women are happy with the right fit with one person.Ditto what I said above.
Sorry but from my vantage point it certainly seems like what we have is a MESS. I don't know if polygamy is the answer, but possibly...I do think many more people would practice polygamy if it were socially acceptable. Just a thought.
Last edited by Green Irish Eyes; 05-28-2010 at 06:12 PM..
Reason: Fixed the edited section
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
