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Thats just how I feel. I really hate this place. It is so damn boring here. Singles run. You don't want to move here.
Just to say all of that is an understatement. If you are single down here, people will discriminate against you then wonder why. Everything you said is the #1 reason I always say offensive things to the people down here. Yeah! They are constantly offending me by saying s*** like: ''you will meet someone [yadda yadda yadda], and on a consistent basis. As my name says, I more than hate this place. However, I have to suck it in the best I can regardless of how hard it is.
Sure, there are many things to do here. Absolutely. I'm a history buff and that's one reason why I moved back here. But I fully understand that I am not likely to meet my soul-mate in the Triad or anywhere else in NC. If I do, either she will be from somewhere else, or she was an absolute master of stealth and deceit all of her life.
Growing up in the Winston area, I learned very early in my youth that if your interests were not totally mainstream, you were an alien species to other people. If you couldn't talk Sports, Cars, Church, Farming, or Family, you were just a nutcase, pure and simple. They would chuckle and roll their eyes, making snide comments when you were barely in earshot. Coming back, I found that things haven't changed much.
One of my favorite examples happened last year when I was having my windshield replaced. Two affable fellows came out for the job and they were right pleasant. But suddenly they stiffened up like a poker was stuck in their backside, and they became sarcastic. I couldn't figure out why. One of them commented loudly that he had "church in two hours", and I just nodded and said "oh...that's right. It's Wednesday, I remember we always had Choir on Wednesdays when I was young." Over the next 15 minutes he made pointed, almost belligerent comments about going to Church, hurled at me like some sort of challenge. I had no idea what he was talking about.
When they finished I saw his partner staring at the back of my car like it had legs growing out of it. On the way home, it suddenly dawned on me. I'm into punk music, psychobilly music, etc. and I have band stickers for The Damned, The Sex Pistols, The Misfits, The Koffin Kats, and a few others on my car. The windshield warriors apparently took me for one of the minions of Satan. True to form, they didn't ask about the stickers. And they didn't simply tell me about their Church, much less invite me. This was sooooo typical. What is it the Good Book says about judging people? A lot of people miss that verse. Treat someone like this because of a few stickers on their car???? Good Lord. (No pun intended.) And I've seen this sort of thing time and time again.
When I go kayaking, I talk to people about kayaking. When I go to a show, I talk about the band. To do any more is a mistake, because few people here are open-minded. I have learned this the hard way at work. Now, it's hi and bye, gee, it sure is hot, and how 'bout them donuts? That's it.
Now, I love the land, the history, the climate, and the cost of living. I don't care too much for most of the people, and like someone else said, if like-minded people are what you are looking for and you're not mainstream, this is probably not the place to be.
I'm not bad-mouthing anyone, just telling what I've seen. Others mileage may vary.
^ I really don't know what to make of this. You are apparently "different", and Winston-Salem is too "mainstream." Okay, fair enough. But you paint everyone in Winston (and indeed the entire state) with the same brush. So out of 8 million people in NC, you can't find anyone who thinks you're not an alien, or who might be an acceptable soul-mate? If you're that different, then yes, you probably will find that people don't warm up to you. That's not a Winston-Salem thing, or an NC thing...people everywhere are naturally uncomfortable with really strange people. Nothing wrong with being strange or different, but you have to expect that it will affect others people's perception of you.
I just wanted to make a couple of points here. First, there are many people in Winston-Salem and NC who are very open-minded. Compared to most places in the South, I think the Triad would rank favorably in its tolerance and acceptance of differences. Secondly, there are plenty of non-mainstream people in Winston and in NC. Many (most?) of them choose to be here, for good reasons. If you don't agree with them, that's fine. But to put down an entire state because it doesn't live up to your admittedly non-mainstream criteria is unfair at best, and quite ignorant and close-minded at worst.
I do not think going to church makes you a better person. It is your frame of mind. If you respect others and have moral and ethical values. This is a good thing. God, does not judge us by whether we attend church or not. The bible does say to forsake not the assembling of ourselves together. I can understand where both Strelnikov and arbyunc are coming from. I do not think you were being judged. North Carolina is considered a bible state. What I find strange in the world yesterday and today is celebrities and many other wealthy individuals do not attend church. Yet they are put a high pedestal like they are "God". Though several have messed up lives. North Carolina is a great place to live. You have church goers, party goers, sports fans, grandmothers, international flavor, a entire mix of cultural happenings. Strelnikov's comment was not ignorant just stating facts. Now please do not think the entire state is this way. That would not be true.
I am sorry you feel that way. Every city, state, or town is not a right fit for everyone. Why not try Charlotte or Raleigh? I am considering moving to Raleigh. Winston-Salem is a nice place to live for families, singles, or retirees. I have a few more classes to go before I finish school and want to be in a larger city.
Quote:
Originally Posted by iabhornc
Just to say all of that is an understatement. If you are single down here, people will discriminate against you then wonder why. Everything you said is the #1 reason I always say offensive things to the people down here. Yeah! They are constantly offending me by saying s*** like: ''you will meet someone [yadda yadda yadda], and on a consistent basis. As my name says, I more than hate this place. However, I have to suck it in the best I can regardless of how hard it is.
I am sorry you feel that way. Every city, state, or town is not a right fit for everyone. Why not try Charlotte or Raleigh? I am considering moving to Raleigh. Winston-Salem is a nice place to live for families, singles, or retirees. I have a few more classes to go before I finish school and want to be in a larger city.
-I don't know about that. NC is not a place for singles period. I couldn't imagine why someone would be nuts about Raleigh (a state capital out of hell.) I already live in the Raleigh/Durham area and the whole ''family and retiree'' rhetoric is alive and well here too. NC definitely has a lot of seniors. Not that I have anything against then. In fact, I enjoy talking with some of them. I am single and I have problems with that down here in ways unimaginable. Don't even get me started with nauseating Charlotte. I REFUSE to live there. Once upon a time, I wanted to live in Charlotte until I realized just how much worse attitude-wise it was. I guess it's not for anything why Charlotte made the list of most miserable cities. If I were doing that list, I would rate the ENTIRE state of NC as being miserable. The people here are so much like Texans with that whole business of obsessing just for being the state it is they are. Not to mention the NC flag almost looks identical to that of Texas.
School is another thing I currently REFUSE to do down here b/c of all the **** poor explanation you get. I am in school to learn and I don't want to hear personal stories of college instructors having sex with their students and/or lovers. Of all the places I have been to, NC ppl. seem the most infamous for that. I am in no way saying that it's not elsewhere, but at least elsewhere people do not babble about it that much and leave you be. Customer service in businesses down here is a pile of horse manure but I won't get into that With moving out, I am currently doing research. I never thought it could be so hard. I have even debated in getting work that permits a lot of travel (because I can never get enough of it.) However, as I write this, with the economy and as bad as it is, there is not much out there. Good luck in your classes. I wish you well
Hi all
tried to read through all threads but the bla bla bla started to drone on and on
wanted to let the 30 somethings know that this 40 something moved back to hometown 9 years ago from metro atlanta and theres not a lot here for me either.
would love to meet with like minded friends to investigate if there is any hope for the outside of the box thinkers in this town
Put on decent looking clothes, cover your tats and to to Harris Teeter or other UPSCALE food stores.
Try several afternoons after work. Get a cart, put a couple of items in it, then when you see a female that looks interesting, ask her stupid question. Have several quick lines ready..not to good, but enough to start a conversation.
Harris Teeter now sells a product called "Spotted Dick," an English pudding. If you can't make some time with that, well....you lose!
would love to meet with like minded friends to investigate if there is any hope for the outside of the box thinkers in this town
I can easily relate. It seems like 99.9% of North Carolina's population is a bunch of people who think only inside the box, and are off in their own deluded world.
i read some posts here because i was born and raised w-s,nc. 1940. back then girls were expected to marry,have babies. i wanted to be scientist,explorer. 2 bad marriages, now i am happy ,travel.camp in tent. enjoy life. live in spearfish,sd now when not traveling. i suggest missoula,mt and boulder,co. i hear they are geared to what some of you are seeking. check for yourself,not because i heard/said it. best wishes
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With moving out, I am currently doing research. I never thought it could be so hard. I have even debated in getting work that permits a lot of travel (because I can never get enough of it.) However, as I write this, with the economy and as bad as it is, there is not much out there. Good luck in your classes. I wish you well 
