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I lost my mother 2 years ago-about 3 weeks before Mother's Day. That Mother's Day was so hard for me. Last year was a bit better but this year it is really hitting me. As much as my mother drove me insane, I miss her more than words can express. I find myself crying a lot today. I read Dear Abby in the paper this morning and started crying. When I turned on my computer and saw Google's Mother's Day doodle, I started crying. Part of it is grieving over my mother but I'm also grieving for the fact that I will never have children of my own. I have 4 step-kids who I love dearly. I also have 7 who call me "Grandma." One of my step-daughters usually calls to wish me a happy "Step-Mother's Day" but this year, she sent a generic "Happy Mother's Day" text message to the entire family. I know, she did include me, but I guess because of feeling the way I do today, I was hoping for something a little bit more.
To be fair, I'm sure I am very hormonal today which is why I am feeling depressed.
Cat, (((hugs))). Two years is not a long time for grief over your mother. Mine's been gone 23 years next month and I still miss her dearly. The big hooplas that are made out by Hallmark, candy makers, flower sellers bring whatever loss anyone suffers to the forefront. My mother cried sometimes over HER mother 20+ years prior to her own death. I had many friends weep with me about Mom because they wept for their own mom too. It never goes away. Calms down but never goes away.
It is okay. You will be better after today. Sorry you feel sad that you will never have children. I do and not a peep today but that's okay with me now too. I live for me.
Cat, (((hugs))). Two years is not a long time for grief over your mother. Mine's been gone 23 years next month and I still miss her dearly. The big hooplas that are made out by Hallmark, candy makers, flower sellers bring whatever loss anyone suffers to the forefront. My mother cried sometimes over HER mother 20+ years prior to her own death. I had many friends weep with me about Mom because they wept for their own mom too. It never goes away. Calms down but never goes away.
It is okay. You will be better after today. Sorry you feel sad that you will never have children. I do and not a peep today but that's okay with me now too. I live for me.
Thanks. My husband went to the store today. I was so hoping he would have gotten some flowers for me. No such luck.
I know I will be better-I'm just going through a rough spot. As for not having kids, most days I am fine with it but there are days-like today... Like I said in my first post, I'm sure hormones have something to do with it.
Thanks. My husband went to the store today. I was so hoping he would have gotten some flowers for me. No such luck.
I know I will be better-I'm just going through a rough spot. As for not having kids, most days I am fine with it but there are days-like today... Like I said in my first post, I'm sure hormones have something to do with it.
Cat
Wait until you get as old as me...No more hormones to drive you batty!
Mother's Day is hard for me, too. My mother passed away 23 years ago, and I still feel the loss. I have no children of my own. We adopted two children, but that hasn't turned out well, either. Last year's Mother's Day was one of the most hurtful times I ever experienced. Both kids forgot it was Mother's Day, which I could get over, but it was how they reacted to it that I can't forget. My dh reminded them it was MD, and I heard DD say in a disdainful manner "She's not my mother". Both kids had PT jobs then, they could have bought me a simple present, or just a card, or just a hug and a heartfelt "Happy Mother's Day" would have been all I wanted, but instead they actively scorned me.
Doesn't help matters that my m-grandmother passed away the day after Mother's Day. When my mother was alive, I always went to visit her for Mother's Day, she lived in another state. We always looked forward to that time. I couldn't imagine not spending that special time with her. Now, its turned into a day I'd rather forget. But yes, I do remember my mother on MD, with happiness at the mother she was, and grief at the loss. OP, I suppose it will always be with you, the loss of a wonderful person. Just be grateful you had her as part of your life. I read somewhere the saddest people are those with no one to mourn, for they have never had anyone to love.
How could someone not have anyone to mourn? We all have parents, be they biological or not. Poor people if they have no one to mourn. That would be sad.
Mother's Day is hard for me, too. My mother passed away 23 years ago, and I still feel the loss. I have no children of my own. We adopted two children, but that hasn't turned out well, either. Last year's Mother's Day was one of the most hurtful times I ever experienced. Both kids forgot it was Mother's Day, which I could get over, but it was how they reacted to it that I can't forget. My dh reminded them it was MD, and I heard DD say in a disdainful manner "She's not my mother". Both kids had PT jobs then, they could have bought me a simple present, or just a card, or just a hug and a heartfelt "Happy Mother's Day" would have been all I wanted, but instead they actively scorned me.
Doesn't help matters that my m-grandmother passed away the day after Mother's Day. When my mother was alive, I always went to visit her for Mother's Day, she lived in another state. We always looked forward to that time. I couldn't imagine not spending that special time with her. Now, its turned into a day I'd rather forget. But yes, I do remember my mother on MD, with happiness at the mother she was, and grief at the loss. OP, I suppose it will always be with you, the loss of a wonderful person. Just be grateful you had her as part of your life. I read somewhere the saddest people are those with no one to mourn, for they have never had anyone to love.
I am sorry for your loss.
I know I am lucky for having my mother as long as I did. There were a lot of issues with my mother but through everything, I know my mother was there for me. I know my step-kids love me but I am not their mother and for that I am sad.
I am just having a bad day. At least I haven't cried in a few hours. I'm sure things will be better tomorrow (at least I hope so).
I just want to let you know you're not alone in missing your Mama!!! I lost mine 17 years ago this past Friday. I still miss her so much it hurts - and I still talk to her! The day she died was actually on a Friday and my very first mothers day without her was just two days later. I cried all day long - and although time does help - it's ok to still cry and miss her. I'm sorry for your loss - and although I have no children of my own, not even stepkids - I am grateful for the wonderful mom I had and the years that I had with her (I was 41 when I lost her).
You do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel better, cry if you need to. Talk to her, visit her grave, listen to a song that she loved, or just remember her with a smile on your lips. It's ok....I hope you never forget her. Hormones are killers as we get older (ask me how I know , but I promise you will survive this. We don't need a calendar to tell us when to love and appreciate those who are etched in our hearts!!! Please do something for yourself today and be patient. I promise you, it won't always hurt this much.
I just want to let you know you're not alone in missing your Mama!!! I lost mine 17 years ago this past Friday. I still miss her so much it hurts - and I still talk to her! The day she died was actually on a Friday and my very first mothers day without her was just two days later. I cried all day long - and although time does help - it's ok to still cry and miss her. I'm sorry for your loss - and although I have no children of my own, not even stepkids - I am grateful for the wonderful mom I had and the years that I had with her (I was 41 when I lost her).
You do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel better, cry if you need to. Talk to her, visit her grave, listen to a song that she loved, or just remember her with a smile on your lips. It's ok....I hope you never forget her. Hormones are killers as we get older (ask me how I know , but I promise you will survive this. We don't need a calendar to tell us when to love and appreciate those who are etched in our hearts!!! Please do something for yourself today and be patient. I promise you, it won't always hurt this much.
My mother died shortly after I turned the big 5-0. (Oh man, I just dated myself. ). Before she died, she told me not to cry for her because she had a happy life (for the most part). I knew that wasn't going to happen. How could I NOT cry for her, she is my mother. Of course, half the time, I never did what she told me to do anyway. lol.
My mother & I had our own song-You & Me Against the World by Helen Reddy. It was right after my step-father's funeral, we were at a restaurant that had music playing and that song came on. I pointed it out to her and said, "I always thought of this song as 'ours." I told her so did I which is why I pointed it out to her. Yeah, I listened to that today. I was able to save a message she left on my voice mail so I have a recording of her voice. (I also have one of my dad, too. I lost him almost a year before I lost my mother.) One of my sisters created a slideshow memorial for her (there is also one for my dad, too). I haven't watched it yet-but I will.
I can't go and visit her grave-she is buried in Arlington Cemetery with my step-father and I am in New England. But to me, I don't have to go to her grave to be close to her.
Thanks, everyone. I know I will get through this.
Cat
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, but I promise you will survive this. We don't need a calendar to tell us when to love and appreciate those who are etched in our hearts!!! Please do something for yourself today and be patient. I promise you, it won't always hurt this much.
). Before she died, she told me not to cry for her because she had a happy life (for the most part). I knew that wasn't going to happen. How could I NOT cry for her, she is my mother. Of course, half the time, I never did what she told me to do anyway. lol. 
