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Recently, a man in my town died while studying abroad in Rome. He was hit and killed by a train and for some reason, I am grieving horrendously. My parents are beginning to become worried that I am so distraught. I knew his brother well when we were younger and the man who died was a friend of my brother's. We were "friends" with his family if you would say (Not terribly close) but for some reason, I am in so much pain that it is undescribable. I have never lost anyone before and I don't know why I am so upset...?
You may not have been terribly close, but you were connected on several levels. It's a sad and shocking situation, on top of your connection to the family. That's why you're upset, and there's nothing wrong with that. You'll be OK.
Perhaps the fact that you've never lost anyone before? It is unfortunately something that comes with time.
My grandmother died when I was 7 , so I guess it also depends on your personal experiences
How are you doing now? I'd suggest watching yourself for signs of depression setting in. If in doubt or you think depression could be setting in then see a professional. They don't like diagnosing depression during grieving for obvious reasons but there complicated grief (when grief results in depression) or you may have had depression before the loss. You may also be a very compassionate person who feels for others strongly.
I kind of mourn people I don't know. Sometimes you read or hear of an accident that cut someone's life short -- and it seems normal enough to mourn them for a while -- some 21 year old who had so much potential and suddenly it's all over, and you feel for their families and friends.
I think it's also normal when younger, when you're just starting to realize how fragile life is, how quickly it can end. It's normal when you have kids of your own to mourn for those whose kids were taken from them quickly -- or slowly.
I don't know if you'll ever see this reply as it's been almost a year since you first posted, but I am sincerely wondering how you are. I can very much relate to the process of mourning someone I didn't know at all (though, to be sure, you *did know this young man, so it's not weird at all that you were/are having a hard time), and I *have* lost close family members and friends (a parent, a best friend). So I don't think any kind of grief is "abnormal". I think the only advice one can give you is how to cope, what warning signs to pay attention to, and what NOT to do (i.e. don't start talking about it after you've been drinking if you can help it, don't torture yourself by looking at photos or videos if you don't have anyone else to lean on, etc. etc.).
If you see this, can you give an update? I lost a parent when I was younger than 13 but older enough to be acutely aware, and I thought that had prepared me for grief. Then I lost a dear friend 4 months ago unexpectedly and I still don't know how to process it. The reason I found you post is because I just found out someone who I didn't know personally (but was very familiar with) died, and I am very upset. I literally hadn't met this person, but I am struggling to process (and maybe that's BECAUSE a close friend of mine just died, or maybe that's MORE insane because I should know the difference between friends and strangers).
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