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I'm sorry for your losses. You need to grieve before life can go on. One thing you might consider is recuing a dog from the pound. We can never replace our pets but we can have pet companions. Somewhere out there is a dog who needs rescuing and it sounds like you need the company.
And I am to the point of making up emergency people too. It is hard being alone, adding to that the loss of your husband and companions.
I hope you find your way through the darkness and if that means seeing a doctor to help you kick start your way, so be it.
Best to you.
I am sorry but making up emergency people is stupid. Those nurses or doctors would be trying and trying to get in touch with that fake person with the fake phone number. Just be honest and put N/A and they may say " you don't have anyone?" and when you say "no" they just go with the flow. My primary knows why I have N/A but others don't. I chose to tell my primary the real reason since that's part of my depression. Others like my Opthomologist don't need to know. They just accept N/A. There are millions of N/A s out there. Nothing to be ashamed of!!! Why would you be ashamed of that?? That's just plain silly IMO. I felt that way at first but then talked myself out of my silliness.
Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
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Smilin, I'm so sorry we're back here again. I was so happy for you when you seemed to have come out of the fog. In the beginning, you know how much you scared us, and now I'm worried again.
About five months after I lost Bob, I had to put down one of my Yorkies. It was horrible. I missed her so much, but I still had the younger Yorkie, Cassie, who was only 3 1/2. I waited four years, but last November got Tango from a woman in Oracle. Then, I just found out today that Cassie, the older Yorkie (8) is going blind. I could tell her eyesight was declining, but the canine ophthalmologist confirmed it today. She's got congenital hereditary retinal atrophy. It's hard watching her lose her sight, and she's slowed down quite a bit, but it'll be hard for me to know she's blind. It just breaks my heart.
I do understand how wonderful our pets are, and how much companionship and comfort they bring us. I talk to mine all the time. Without them, I'd just be talking to myself, and then everyone would call me the crazy lady who talks to herself. I agree with some of the others that getting another dog, or volunteering at a rescue shelter might fill a void in your life. You have so much love to give, a rescue dog would be so lucky to have you as a pet parent.
I'm glad you called CA and have her to talk to. Tami's right, the four of us are like the Four Muskateers, and we look out for each other. Please take care of yourself......I worry.
In 26 months I lost my husband and two dogs. The realization I have no one in my life, my family wiped out is devastating to me. I am now contemplating my death. I have nothing to live for. I haven't felt happiness in who knows when.
I am so tired of my life trying to find purpose and meaning and I have no one to write down in case of emergency.
I know how dreadful this post may sound but I am very tired of living this dismal life.
Thanks for listening.
I hate to do this, but I'm going to do this. I'm going to throw your own words back at you. You wrote this in May to another poster who also wanted to lay down and die because the grief was too much for her.
Here's the link to the thread, in case you forgot:
...Counseling is very expensive but in every community there is mental health care for those people who need it and the county pays for it. It was important for me that I talk to someone and the more I talked, the more l was able to put my life into perspective. Grief is very hard on people and it can chew you up and spit you out if you allow it to...
...Thank goodness tomorrow brings us a new day and changes take place in our lives every second, every minute of the day.
Time heals all wounds. Since my husband passed away 23 months ago, every month I have changed and the people in my life have made that possible. Some of those people were here in CD in the grief room. So many changes in your life...it is time for you to create a whole new life for you. I know it is not easy to make the necessary adjustments to adapt but take it from me, tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning...
You wrote those words. It's time you live by them.
I am sorry but making up emergency people is stupid. Those nurses or doctors would be trying and trying to get in touch with that fake person with the fake phone number. Just be honest and put N/A and they may say " you don't have anyone?" and when you say "no" they just go with the flow. My primary knows why I have N/A but others don't. I chose to tell my primary the real reason since that's part of my depression. Others like my Opthomologist don't need to know. They just accept N/A. There are millions of N/A s out there. Nothing to be ashamed of!!! Why would you be ashamed of that?? That's just plain silly IMO. I felt that way at first but then talked myself out of my silliness.
Because they don't take N/A and they refuse to treat. Do you expect them to take the responsibility if something goes wrong? or assume liability? Then there is the "who is here to drive you home? and no we cannot release you to a taxi or van service?"
No it isn't stupid or silly or any other name calling you may come up with . Where I live it is a fact of doing business, maybe not where you live.
Smilin, I'm so sorry we're back here again. I was so happy for you when you seemed to have come out of the fog. In the beginning, you know how much you scared us, and now I'm worried again.
About five months after I lost Bob, I had to put down one of my Yorkies. It was horrible. I missed her so much, but I still had the younger Yorkie, Cassie, who was only 3 1/2. I waited four years, but last November got Tango from a woman in Oracle. Then, I just found out today that Cassie, the older Yorkie (8) is going blind. I could tell her eyesight was declining, but the canine ophthalmologist confirmed it today. She's got congenital hereditary retinal atrophy. It's hard watching her lose her sight, and she's slowed down quite a bit, but it'll be hard for me to know she's blind. It just breaks my heart.
I do understand how wonderful our pets are, and how much companionship and comfort they bring us. I talk to mine all the time. Without them, I'd just be talking to myself, and then everyone would call me the crazy lady who talks to herself. I agree with some of the others that getting another dog, or volunteering at a rescue shelter might fill a void in your life. You have so much love to give, a rescue dog would be so lucky to have you as a pet parent.
I'm glad you called CA and have her to talk to. Tami's right, the four of us are like the Four Muskateers, and we look out for each other. Please take care of yourself......I worry.
Marcy...Naturally, Smilin felt sad and "lost" and at her "witt's end" when her 2nd dog (Sherry) passed-away. She lost both of her dogs within a couple of months. But, she's doing better now. And, we stay in touch through email everyday...It takes time to process things. (As you know.)...When Smilin and I spoke on the phone the night Sherry died, we even found a few things to "laugh about" despite her sadness and grief...I'm not worried about Smilin. She's a "tough cookie." Of course she feels sad and shocked because she lost both of her "babies" unexpectedly within a short period of time.
Because they don't take N/A and they refuse to treat. Do you expect them to take the responsibility if something goes wrong? or assume liability? Then there is the "who is here to drive you home? and no we cannot release you to a taxi or van service?"
No it isn't stupid or silly or any other name calling you may come up with . Where I live it is a fact of doing business, maybe not where you live.
I'm sure glad I don't live in whatever state you do. "N/A" is accepted by all my doctors. That is ridiculous that you couldn't get treated just because you have no family alive anymore. I wonder why the medical profession in your state hasn't been sued yet. Oh wait, that's because those people had no family!
Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona
Marcy...Naturally, Smilin felt sad and "lost" and at her "witt's end" when her 2nd dog (Sherry) passed-away. She lost both of her dogs within a couple of months. But, she's doing better now. And, we stay in touch through email everyday...It takes time to process things. (As you know.)...When Smilin and I spoke on the phone the night Sherry died, we even found a few things to "laugh about" despite her sadness and grief...I'm not worried about Smilin. She's a "tough cookie." Of course she feels sad and shocked because she lost both of her "babies" unexpectedly within a short period of time.
TY, CA, for updating us on smilin'. That is encouraging news.
Thank you each and everyone of you. I awoke up crying this morning. It just seems so surreal to me awakening and not having two dogs on my bed and to kiss and hold in my arms and the first thing was to give them their morning cookie. I will miss their cries of welcoming me home, the house seems so quiet and dead, like me. Your words are uplifting and encouraging. I will see my Doctor next week. I am just trying to cope with the final loss of my dogs, I had no children, they were my children. It is just me now. I am very confused. For the first time in my life I have no responsibilities other than to myself and I have to figure on what direction I can go in. I can now travel but after this cruise I went on that really is not appealing to me. To be honest, I much prefer to camp out in the woods and be with nature than to be on ship with thousands of people. To visit with people is more of a chore than of a relaxing time. Just making sense out of my life is what I feel I need to do.
Your posts have moved me and I hope you will give yourself time to appreciate this part of the grieving process is necessary.
When my german shepherd died, I buried her in my back yard. Later that night I woke up in the middle of the night and ran to the window to see if I had only dreamed it. That really hurt me because I thought I had only dreamed it.
I really took her death hard. I had her since she was a pup.
So I know what you are feeling. A lot of CD friends reached out to me when my baby girl Myla passed. But I allowed myself to grieve. Please be patient with yourself and allow yourself to feel those emotions.
Ty all. RedBird, last night I awoke and looked for my dogs on the bed and they weren't there and I panicked and then remembered they are gone and I cried. My dogs were the last of my family. Now it is just me. I did have a neighbor call me to check up on me and that felt good. I have no reason to leave early or make a excuse I have to be home for my dogs. Quite the adjustment and you are right, I need to take this time to grieve.
Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
4,922 posts, read 8,593,840 times
Reputation: 8045
Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona
Marcy...Naturally, Smilin felt sad and "lost" and at her "witt's end" when her 2nd dog (Sherry) passed-away. She lost both of her dogs within a couple of months. But, she's doing better now. And, we stay in touch through email everyday...It takes time to process things. (As you know.)...When Smilin and I spoke on the phone the night Sherry died, we even found a few things to "laugh about" despite her sadness and grief...I'm not worried about Smilin. She's a "tough cookie." Of course she feels sad and shocked because she lost both of her "babies" unexpectedly within a short period of time.
Oh, that is SO good to hear! I get so worried about her, so I'm glad to know she's doing okay. I didn't know Sherry had died, too. I knew her babies were older, that was why she was a little leery to go to Laughlin, but I had no idea they would both pass so soon. I'm really glad she has you for a friend. You're pretty amazing, and it's great that you guys live fairly close so you can be there for each other. Thank you for updating us!
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That really hurt me because I thought I had only dreamed it. 
