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To my dearest angels, friends and other caregivers from my former thread in the caregivers thread. It is time for me to move on from that thread as I am no longer a caregiver...sigh... Now I am trying to pick up the pieces and facing those emotions of grief. As I wake up each day I pray it will be easier but I suppose I am asking for to much to soon. Each day seems harder as I wander through my home with only my critters to talk to. Through the caregivers thread I have met the most caring loving people anyone could imagine. It has given me so much more faith in the human race. I honestly do not think I could have made it through this without their constant support and love. I would not be able to recognize them if I saw them on the street but I know their hearts! So now I will walk this new road and try to find myself. I so pray my friends will continue to walk with me. I also hope this thread will help others who may not wish to post but just read this thread and will get some strength and direction from this thread. Sometimes a person just needs to see they are not alone in their situation and it helps. We help each other!
I'm here dear friend we'll walk this part of our life journey together. Others will follow because encouragement is needed always but especially now that DH has passed.
Thank you Jaxson--this journey sure does not come easy....of course none of it has been easy! I can be thankful I have had so much support here. It's a little funny really--so may people look at me quite strange when they ask what kind of support groups I have gone to and I say I have the best support group online. They answer with "but you need personal support" and I reply "I can't find any more personal support then I get with my group online"! I am blessed!
Cyn, you actually do all of us who have a spouse/partner a great favor and for that I thank you. Conceivably, sometime in the future, sooner for some, later for others, one will find themselves alone following the death of their loved one. You handled your husband's passing with grace and courage. I've no doubt you will do the same for this stage of your life. and set a good example for the rest of us.
Cyn and friends......I am glad to find you here. Cyn it will be one day at a time....and of course as you know it wont be easy.....and it will probably get harder before it gets better......but it will get easier and you will find new strengths and a capacity for joy. But take it day by day.
cyn oddly enough cyber circles can be very supportive I see the need for 'in person' support too. Hugs are a really big part of grieving & healing we give those to you but you really need some real hugs too.
I'm tearing up big time as I read your words, Cyn, and see you struggling with your grief, loss with the grace and courage you have always shown. It's still early on your journey, I so wish there were some way to make that process you must go through easier and less painful for you, but I guess it's handling that pain and coming through it on your own timeframe that makes you even stronger as you continue on with your life. I don't think the pain of your loss ever goes away entirely, but you'll be able to put it in perspective as you hold your beloved DH in your heart and life's other joys and sorrows, ups and downs demand your attention.
As Jaxson said, I hope you'll find the support and love of your "real life" friends and family- nothing like physical hugs and the spoken words, "I'm here for you".... to get you through a day.
And know, also, that we're here with you for the long haul, as you take on that journey...
Hospice has been wonderful for those hugs Jaxson and Travelassie! My poor DH was so afraid to have Hospice because he thought it meant no hope--but they have been a huge help for me. I'm just sorry it took us so long to accept their help. But we did and that is all that matters now. I talk to them almost daily. They are going to have a service for me with the hospice team that helped me in a week or so with a plaque with my DH's name on it in their little garden. How lovely. They also have a woman that will make me a stuffed bear out of some piece of clothing that reminds me of my DH so I have something to cuddle. They are amazing!
Today I mowed about 1/3 of my yard. It's a lot to mow and I am just going to do it in parts I decided. Besides I am afraid of running out of gas so I need to go buy more and keep the mower full. It did feel good to go outside. I am going to list the wheelchairs today hopefully. I was going to donate them but my daughter--always thinking of me--said I should at least get back the money it cost me to have them shipped here. She is right--if I didn't need the money I would definitely donate them but right now I can use the money. I have so much to keep me busy but my mind is in a fog so much of the time it makes it hard but I am trying. Seems busy is the answer to loneliness right now.
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Now I am trying to pick up the pieces and facing those emotions of grief. As I wake up each day I pray it will be easier but I suppose I am asking for to much to soon. Each day seems harder as I wander through my home with only my critters to talk to. Through the caregivers thread I have met the most caring loving people anyone could imagine. It has given me so much more faith in the human race. I honestly do not think I could have made it through this without their constant support and love. I would not be able to recognize them if I saw them on the street but I know their hearts! So now I will walk this new road and try to find myself. I so pray my friends will continue to walk with me. I also hope this thread will help others who may not wish to post but just read this thread and will get some strength and direction from this thread. Sometimes a person just needs to see they are not alone in their situation and it helps. We help each other!
I can be thankful I have had so much support here. It's a little funny really--so may people look at me quite strange when they ask what kind of support groups I have gone to and I say I have the best support group online. They answer with "but you need personal support" and I reply "I can't find any more personal support then I get with my group online"! I am blessed!
