Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I thought about how we didn't get any money from my grandmother's estate and my uncle got everything. But it's OK. Because we got something our uncle will never have: quality, fun times with her for over two decades. And we also didn't take advantage of our own 90 year old mother's modest income as a nanny out of selfishness and greed. I don't want to waste my time being angry at this man. He's not worth it. I'll just be happy at the times we spent with her, knowing that our grandmother was happy with us.
wow, this makes me sad. i don't expect anything from anyone and i feel like i'm too young to have a will of my own (my assumption is that my wife will just get everything and if she and i were both to die at the same time, my kids would get everything and if we all die together, i don't really care that much who gets our estate).
as for my parents, i haven't really given it much thought. they have a decent sized estate but i guess i just assumed that my brother and i would get it and anyone else in the family would help us through that process.
and for my wife's family, i more or less assumed the same.
we are a pretty traditional family in that we don't have any divorces, re-marriages, step-children, etc....among not just me but my sibling and my wife's sibling, our parents, our grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. it's just not really something that's done in my culture.
however, this thread does get me a little worried because my parents live overseas while i live here in the US. there are some complex laws regarding social security numbers, bank accounts, etc. where it probably won't be so straightforward if my parents were to both pass away.
in any case, it does rile me up at the thought of greedy folks taking advantage of these elderly folks. there's really no limit to the greed of some people cutting people out 100% from wills, etc.? in any case, good luck all.
If your parents live overseas then it will get complicated because the jurisdiction where they live will probably have its own laws as regard inheritance. US law will not apply although there may be US tax consequences. You should take legal advice.
I also agree with another poster that sometimes elder fraud might be investigated by the county or probate court but they generally just don't want the public in their face. One of our local investigative news stations did some reporting our lazy county elder abuse workers are which is consistant with what happened to my aunt.
Last night we were painfully watching our old cat as the tears rolled down my cheeks and feeling the pain of what is in the near future. Then I remembered the Buddha said that attachment is the cause of our pain, which I could see right in front of me. Apparently, some people think that money and things will buy them happiness when it can only come from within.
I don't mean to get preachy here but it sometimes helps to keep others greed in perspective. Let nothing distrub your peace.
hunterseat,
Yes.
I know exactly how that is.
Contact an attorney who will handle it for you depending on how much is
recovered.
They exsist.
Do it now.
Protest it, it doesn't matter how long it takes.
For me, it would be the principal of the thing.
Please find a lawyer to handle this for you, my son did this, and he received
more than nothing.
It is the point of it, not really the money at all.
Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
4,922 posts, read 8,573,613 times
Reputation: 8044
My parents (dad and step-mom) had reciprocal wills; if he died it went to her, and vice-versa. My step-mom died first and everything went to my dad. That riled up her daughter from her 1st marriage. Then, when my dad died, he left everything to me (only child) which riled up my step-sister even more. My dad's original will had left a fairly good sum of money to my step-sister, but after her mom (my step-mom) died, we found out that this step-sister had somehow managed to talk my step-mom into sending her Soc Sec checks to this daughter every month, plus helping her out financially. My step-sister was a single mom of two and was pretty lazy about working steadily. Anyway, about six months after my dad died, we got served with papers notifying us she was contesting his will, saying he wasn't in his right mind when he changed his will, and that since my husband was his attorney, and I had Power of Attorney in his last weeks, we had somehow coerced him into leaving everything to me.
We fought her in Court (we hired an Estate attorney) as a) my dad never adopted her, so she wasn't legally his heir, and b) she'd been financially compensated for years by her mom, and if her mom wanted her to inherit, she would have made a provision in her will, but she didn't. It cost us about $10K to defend the will, mostly in witness fees and attorney fees, but in the end, we prevailed, and she got nothing except for a bill from her attorney.
My advice would be to find an attorney who specializes in Estates, and see if you can get a free consultation, or a very lost cost initial consultation. If the attorney says there's nothing you can do, then you're best to let it be, but if s/he smells a rat, and feels the will can be successfully contested, it might be worth pursuing, if for nothing else than getting this woman called out for what she's done, and maybe having her reimburse the estate. It's worth a try, in my opinion.
If your parents live overseas then it will get complicated because the jurisdiction where they live will probably have its own laws as regard inheritance. US law will not apply although there may be US tax consequences. You should take legal advice.
This is where perhaps I am being way too trusting of relatives. All of my relatives live overseas with my parents and my assumption has been that they would help guide us through the process if it were to happen. Although our 2 countries are friendly, they don't allow dual citizenships so as a US citizen I believe that I (and my brother) was removed from many of the official paperwork in my native country so officially it may look like my parents have no kids. So if their estate goes to my parent's siblings or something like that I was hoping they would do the right thing and pass those onto me (taking out taxes, etc.).
I didn't even fathom them taking everything and leaving us with nothing (which it sounds like people do around here).
But yeah legal assistance sounds prudent. But I can't really talk about this with my parents and they will be like "what, you're already thinking about us dying?"
Marcy, I did consult an attorney. He discouraged me because in VA it's rarely worth it. I wasn't going after any personal gain. I just wanted that evil woman to get the rug yanked out from under her. To right that wrong.
The attorney who wrote the will and would defend the will was a friend of my step-dad's way back (my step-dad was a WWII vet). The attorney is very old. But wonderful. I spoke with him. He said I had 3 years to contest the will. The will had to be signed at the house because my mother wouldn't go out. He said he asked if she agreed to it, she said yes and as far as he was concerned, that was enough.
The attorney I consulted with said he always asks one or two questions that would determine the mental state of the client. (do you know what day it is? etc) So there are two different techniques.
One glaring (and startling, for me) sign that my mother was no longer herself was the newspaper on the table with the crossword puzzle folded back, ready to be worked and empty. She did crossword puzzles every day of her life and the NY Times puzzle on Sunday. And she finished them ALWAYS. That function of her brain didn't work anymore and it really was a shock to me when I went to visit her. I guess functioning on low oxygen will do that to you. She refused to take oxygen home with her as the doctor advised.
This is where perhaps I am being way too trusting of relatives. All of my relatives live overseas with my parents and my assumption has been that they would help guide us through the process if it were to happen. Although our 2 countries are friendly, they don't allow dual citizenships so as a US citizen I believe that I (and my brother) was removed from many of the official paperwork in my native country so officially it may look like my parents have no kids. So if their estate goes to my parent's siblings or something like that I was hoping they would do the right thing and pass those onto me (taking out taxes, etc.).
I didn't even fathom them taking everything and leaving us with nothing (which it sounds like people do around here).
But yeah legal assistance sounds prudent. But I can't really talk about this with my parents and they will be like "what, you're already thinking about us dying?"
Different countries have different rules. And some of them have very specific rules on inheritance which can override the will. This does not mean that you will be disinherited or that other family members will not play nice. But inheritance does seem to bring out the worst in some people so it is always wise to be sure of your legal position and legal options.
I grew up in the UK and my mother passed away there so UK - in fact Scottish - law applied. Fortunately, I was recommended a lawyer who was in my year at High School and, forty years on, was the managing partner of his law firm. He took us on as a private client and he has been fantastic. Not that our situation was complicated. The Will was straight down the middle between my sister and I and we have both been on the same page right through the process. But the lawyer has made it all much easier.
My mother had told me she would leave an account and the amount when she died. My aunt and I were at her bedside and a nephew was crying big crocodile tears and would not stay and left the hospital room. My aunt and I stayed until she died and went to the house. We thought at first there had been a breakin as cardboard was all around the living room and the attic was still open.
My aunt mentioned that my mother had a suitcase full of money up there for gambling. My nephew took it while we were at the hospital. He admitted it at the funeral and said my mother told him if she was ever sick and it looked as if she would die he was supposed to go get the money for himself.
The money was all left to him and none of us got the amounts we were always told we would get and they weren't more than $5,000 apiece but it really is the principal. We then had to come up with money for additional funeral expenses as well as all of us had traveled and that money he took could have really helped out to pay for those things.
We had a live-in nurse/caretaker for my parents so they could stay at home...both were disabled. Everything was fine for a while. The nurse gained control of my dad's credit cards and started buying large appliances and things to sell for cash which paid for a drug habit. Credit card companies eventually compared purchases and contacted the family to ask why so many refrigerators were being purchased. That was the first we knew of it but the total amount was around $30,000. The nurse spent three years in prison. My parents lived too long - the nurse had done this before but was more careful with purchases and the patients always died before anyone found out.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
She did crossword puzzles every day of her life and the NY Times puzzle on Sunday. And she finished them ALWAYS. That function of her brain didn't work anymore and it really was a shock to me when I went to visit her. I guess functioning on low oxygen will do that to you. She refused to take oxygen home with her as the doctor advised.
