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We had a live-in nurse/caretaker for my parents so they could stay at home...both were disabled. Everything was fine for a while. The nurse gained control of my dad's credit cards and started buying large appliances and things to sell for cash which paid for a drug habit. Credit card companies eventually compared purchases and contacted the family to ask why so many refrigerators were being purchased. That was the first we knew of it but the total amount was around $30,000. The nurse spent three years in prison. My parents lived too long - the nurse had done this before but was more careful with purchases and the patients always died before anyone found out.
My parents (dad and step-mom) had reciprocal wills; if he died it went to her, and vice-versa. My step-mom died first and everything went to my dad. That riled up her daughter from her 1st marriage. Then, when my dad died, he left everything to me (only child) which riled up my step-sister even more. My dad's original will had left a fairly good sum of money to my step-sister, but after her mom (my step-mom) died, we found out that this step-sister had somehow managed to talk my step-mom into sending her Soc Sec checks to this daughter every month, plus helping her out financially. My step-sister was a single mom of two and was pretty lazy about working steadily. Anyway, about six months after my dad died, we got served with papers notifying us she was contesting his will, saying he wasn't in his right mind when he changed his will, and that since my husband was his attorney, and I had Power of Attorney in his last weeks, we had somehow coerced him into leaving everything to me.
We fought her in Court (we hired an Estate attorney) as a) my dad never adopted her, so she wasn't legally his heir, and b) she'd been financially compensated for years by her mom, and if her mom wanted her to inherit, she would have made a provision in her will, but she didn't. It cost us about $10K to defend the will, mostly in witness fees and attorney fees, but in the end, we prevailed, and she got nothing except for a bill from her attorney.
My advice would be to find an attorney who specializes in Estates, and see if you can get a free consultation, or a very lost cost initial consultation. If the attorney says there's nothing you can do, then you're best to let it be, but if s/he smells a rat, and feels the will can be successfully contested, it might be worth pursuing, if for nothing else than getting this woman called out for what she's done, and maybe having her reimburse the estate. It's worth a try, in my opinion.
wow. i don't know the details, but i think i would have given the daughter of your stepmom something. that's just fair, since everything she had went to your dad and then YOU get all of it even what was hers? wow. obviously she didn't understand this could happen to her daughter. just, wow. you really think the stepmom meant this to happen to her kid? and you say she was living in poverty too. WOW. (many ss recipients have a designated payee- the check goes to them, they handle it for the recipient- they don't just keep it). I'm sorry, but i don't believe in doing things the way you did. I think family members should be given some support from inheritance. it's not a game of taking and grabbing. it's about helping the people who need it when someone dies and leaves resources. The stepmom probably would have left her something specifically, if only she had known what you would do to her kid who was probably making plans based on it, and would have done things differently if only she had also known what you would do with her mom's resources. WOW. I'll have to make sure my kids all get perfectly written wills so no one scams them out of money when they need it really bad later in life. So "savvy, entitled" people don't make their lives hell. People who have an atty in the family are at an extreme advantage. She obviously had a crappy one, imo. and you are so proud of leaving an impoverished woman nothing from her own mom, but just a huge atty bill that she can't pay but he will garnish her down to nothing per week to live on. WOWWWWW. talk about injustice.
MY VERDICT: SCAM. WORSE THAN SCAM. based on what you've said here.
but like i said, i don't know the details.
Last edited by 2bpurrfect; 01-10-2015 at 02:01 PM..
Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
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My step-mom had pretty much given up on her daughter years before. The daughter lived with my parents (and me when I was in HS) after she was married, and she and her husband decided they didn't need to work since my parents were supporting them. They went on to have two daughters, and continued to live for free with my parents for the next ten years, freeloading and never working. They were now in their 40's. Finally, the stress was so bad, my step-mom had a heart attack (she survived) and she issued them an ultimatum to get jobs, find a place to live and start being responsible. My step-sister laid on the guilt, so my mom turned her SS checks over to my step-sister, and also gave her over $1000.00/mo "allowence" that my dad didn't know about until after my step-mom died. After her divorce, she lived a champagne life on her beer money income from my mom and went severely into debt. My step-mom left enough money for the grandgirls to go to college, but she felt that her daughter (who was now living with her ex-husband's family who supported her and the girls, and still not working even though her ex had remarried and moved out of state) needed to grow up and stop mooching off her relatives. My dad did give my step-sister $10K from the estate, but that was all (and it was gone in two months as she bought a brand new car and a new wardrobe but didn't spend a dime on the girls), which was more than her mom wanted her to have. So, when my dad died, he didn't want to give her money that she'd just waste, but he did leave a little in a trust fund for the grandgirls. My step-sister was able to con the bank trustee and got all the money out and bought a house. About a year later, the bank foreclosed because she'd never made one payment on it. She had to move back in with her ex-inlaws. She asked to move in with my parents again, but they said no, and she loudly said that she was disowning them for neglecting her in her time of need. She didn't talk to any of us for about 8 years, until my mom died. She was 50 by that time, and still had never worked a day in her life. My dad died 8 months later, and that's when she contested the will. Sadly, she died two years later of cirrhosis and lung cancer...her kids were in their early 20's and hadn't gone to college as she'd never told them they had the money for it. They both went to college after she died. Once did ROTC and after 15 years retired as a Major in the Air Force. She now works at the Pentagon. The other one got her Ph.D and is the Director of Special Education for a school district in Pennsylvania. They both were the opposite of their mom ~~ ambitious, hard working, good values, but ironically neither one married or had children...
During both my parents funerals, she managed to subtly steal lots of jewelry, some of which had been my grandmother's which had been left to me (no relation to my step-sister), and other very expensive things from the house which she took to pawn shops, and bought a Carribean cruise for her and her daughters. Most of what she took had come from my dad's side of the family, and had been given to him by his parents. But, she stole whatever she could fit in her purse and suitcases and promptly sold it.
Marcy, your testimony proves there is always more to a story than anyone knows unless you're there. I know you're proud of your step-nieces. At least something good came from that person. Sorry about the trouble your family has been through over this.
Location: Scott County, Tennessee/by way of Detroit
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcy1210
My step-mom had pretty much given up on her daughter years before. The daughter lived with my parents (and me when I was in HS) after she was married, and she and her husband decided they didn't need to work since my parents were supporting them. They went on to have two daughters, and continued to live for free with my parents for the next ten years, freeloading and never working. They were now in their 40's. Finally, the stress was so bad, my step-mom had a heart attack (she survived) and she issued them an ultimatum to get jobs, find a place to live and start being responsible. My step-sister laid on the guilt, so my mom turned her SS checks over to my step-sister, and also gave her over $1000.00/mo "allowence" that my dad didn't know about until after my step-mom died. After her divorce, she lived a champagne life on her beer money income from my mom and went severely into debt. My step-mom left enough money for the grandgirls to go to college, but she felt that her daughter (who was now living with her ex-husband's family who supported her and the girls, and still not working even though her ex had remarried and moved out of state) needed to grow up and stop mooching off her relatives. My dad did give my step-sister $10K from the estate, but that was all (and it was gone in two months as she bought a brand new car and a new wardrobe but didn't spend a dime on the girls), which was more than her mom wanted her to have. So, when my dad died, he didn't want to give her money that she'd just waste, but he did leave a little in a trust fund for the grandgirls. My step-sister was able to con the bank trustee and got all the money out and bought a house. About a year later, the bank foreclosed because she'd never made one payment on it. She had to move back in with her ex-inlaws. She asked to move in with my parents again, but they said no, and she loudly said that she was disowning them for neglecting her in her time of need. She didn't talk to any of us for about 8 years, until my mom died. She was 50 by that time, and still had never worked a day in her life. My dad died 8 months later, and that's when she contested the will. Sadly, she died two years later of cirrhosis and lung cancer...her kids were in their early 20's and hadn't gone to college as she'd never told them they had the money for it. They both went to college after she died. Once did ROTC and after 15 years retired as a Major in the Air Force. She now works at the Pentagon. The other one got her Ph.D and is the Director of Special Education for a school district in Pennsylvania. They both were the opposite of their mom ~~ ambitious, hard working, good values, but ironically neither one married or had children...
During both my parents funerals, she managed to subtly steal lots of jewelry, some of which had been my grandmother's which had been left to me (no relation to my step-sister), and other very expensive things from the house which she took to pawn shops, and bought a Carribean cruise for her and her daughters. Most of what she took had come from my dad's side of the family, and had been given to him by his parents. But, she stole whatever she could fit in her purse and suitcases and promptly sold it.
That sounds like my husband's brother..when their dad died everyone including ratfink brother rushed down to Tennessee for the funeral..the brother wanted his share..NOW and started a huge fight..screaming yelling...upsetting everyone...went back home with nothing....found out my father in law HAD no will..(that is a hole other can of worms0.....so then 3 yrs later the stepmom died.. and then her will came out...of course her daughter got most of EVERYTHING because the dad never had a will.. he just left everything to stepmom.. she didn't ignore the other siblings of my husband....everybody got a little something.... and then the $$$$hit it the fan with the brother....he was threatening people since he got $0 but in the will he was absolved of the $20,000 loan that he borrowed from his dad for a house that he made like 4 payments on and lost...WHICH NO ONE KNEW..we were like.. why is he thinking he gets anything? He got his..his debt is forgiven...it took a couple of years..threats. and horrible vile text messages later for him to leave everyone alone....what a creep...
That is awful she stole your grandmother's jewelry....that in itself is enough to show the kind of person she was....
I see this stuff everyday, that is why a Will/Trust are so important. Each state has different laws as to competency. I would check with your moms doctor to make sure she was competent to sign a new will.
I'm sorry to read so many horror stories, and they become very ugly when a parent and their spouse who is not the birth parent die. If you leave it all to the other person, then the surviving person usually passes it to their children.
I see this stuff everyday, that is why a Will/Trust are so important. Each state has different laws as to competency. I would check with your moms doctor to make sure she was competent to sign a new will.
I'd have to get the power of attorney lady/executor to get the medical records, as if that's going to happen. It would be pretty easy to prove she was not competent with such a low O2 level.
Anyway, it's been easier for me to let it go with all the things I've read here. I want to thank everyone again for participating. Thank you so much.
I see this stuff everyday, that is why a Will/Trust are so important. Each state has different laws as to competency. I would check with your moms doctor to make sure she was competent to sign a new will.
I'm sorry to read so many horror stories, and they become very ugly when a parent and their spouse who is not the birth parent die. If you leave it all to the other person, then the surviving person usually passes it to their children.
My dad died a couple months ago and my mom (70 years old and I suspect has psychological issues/prescription drug dependency) refuses to create a will or do any estate planning at all. I worry that someone at some time will take advantage of her. Or if not, it will create a HUGE mess for me in probate court. She's a very selfish woman and although she's inherited large sums of money from her parents and other relatives, she seems to have no intention of passing anything on to me or my children (her only grandkids). She tries to act like she has "nothing", so no reason for a will. I know for a fact that the house alone has over $150K equity, and my dad mentioned that they have several IRAs and CDs. It'll probably all end up going to the state, or a nursing home.
Oh, and she also doesn't have life insurance. All she'll tell me is that she has enough money for her funeral/burial. Well, that'll be quite a trick if she can pay it while deceased! I certainly won't spend thousands on her just because she refused to take care of things in advance.
My dad died a couple months ago and my mom (70 years old and I suspect has psychological issues/prescription drug dependency) refuses to create a will or do any estate planning at all. I worry that someone at some time will take advantage of her. Or if not, it will create a HUGE mess for me in probate court. She's a very selfish woman and although she's inherited large sums of money from her parents and other relatives, she seems to have no intention of passing anything on to me or my children (her only grandkids). She tries to act like she has "nothing", so no reason for a will. I know for a fact that the house alone has over $150K equity, and my dad mentioned that they have several IRAs and CDs. It'll probably all end up going to the state, or a nursing home.
Oh, and she also doesn't have life insurance. All she'll tell me is that she has enough money for her funeral/burial. Well, that'll be quite a trick if she can pay it while deceased! I certainly won't spend thousands on her just because she refused to take care of things in advance.
Who does she allow close? That's who will have the most influence on her. Even if you can figure out what charities she favors.... it would be better than having it go to the state. Sorry about your father. I hope the best for this awful situation. My sister said to me "Don't let it run your life" I hear those words every day.
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