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Talk to her in advance of the date, acknowledge to her that you know it will be an emotional day for her. Ask her what you can do to help her though the day. Some people need to be alone with their grief and others will need a distraction to help ease the pain. The main thing is to let her know you are there for her.
I am sure your friend will really appreciate if you would just acknowledge the date and tell her you know it is a real tough day for her. My friend lost her daughter 7 years ago and I always acknowledge her birthday, date of death and Mothers Day as I know they are the hardest for my friend.
I had some friends that lost their 6 year old son in a farming accident. One year later I gave them a framed picture of their son that I had taken the day before he got killed. Earlier, I did let them know what I had.
Flowers, a card, a phone call. Anything to acknowledge you remember the day of their grief.
That was nice, slingshot.
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