Do you ever feel bad about the way you treated a loved one after they die?

[calgirlinnc]

Originally Posted by VTsnowbird

Just a very small thing but I think about it sometimes. My DH and I were together almost all the time - we had a busy life living in the country and doing farm-type chores. I didn't have a lot of free time to read, I would read in bed, and if I were eating alone, I would be reading. Sometimes he would come and sit at the table with me even though he was not eating, and I would put the book down. He might not even talk to me, just sit. I would feel annoyed that he was interfering with my reading time but never said anything.

How I wish I could look up and see him sitting across the table from me once more. I have all the time in the world to read now.

This broke my heart.

I think this is probably very common now, but with phones.

What a valuable lesson you are sharing with everyone.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Schrodinger's Kittens]

My sister died last year. As children we were at each other's throats but as adults we were close. I wish I had acted differently when I was a kid. There were times we did get along as kids, and times that I stood up for her (I'm the older one) but I wish there were more of them.

[Luckystrike1]

Yes. I think it's common. But I am always aware that any preventable changes would not have been major ones.

Unfortunately, death teaches lessons, too, and this is a good example.

[Christinepurple]

I know what you mean. I have not always been nice to many who have died. It's also true they were not always nice to me. That's how people are; both good and bad and it's not likely to change. Hardly any of us are saints. Least of all me.

[NCN]

Originally Posted by hellob

Sometimes, like tonight, I can't fall asleep bc I'm racked with guilt about the times I wasn't kind to my grandma. Things like getting annoyed bc she'd talk too much or she'd always bug me to fix something, etc. I mean, it wasn't often but now that she's gone, I feel really terrible that I wasn't always the sweetest person to be around. All the things that annoyed me would make me feel so happy to do if I had another chance.

Do any of you have bad feelings about bad interactions with loved ones, even if decades before they died? I guess the lesson is to be more mindful of my actions in the future.

We can have a do over sometimes. Did she have dear friends that may need a helping hand? Maybe if you help them, you can both remember your grandmother together. I bet you were more of a blessing to her than you will ever know.

We love our children and grandchildren and realize they have their own path to make and even though we sometimes wish they would spend more time with us; they bring us pleasure anyway just by being. Love your grandmother by being kind to others.

[meo92953]

Originally Posted by hellob

Sometimes, like tonight, I can't fall asleep bc I'm racked with guilt about the times I wasn't kind to my grandma. Things like getting annoyed bc she'd talk too much or she'd always bug me to fix something, etc. I mean, it wasn't often but now that she's gone, I feel really terrible that I wasn't always the sweetest person to be around. All the things that annoyed me would make me feel so happy to do if I had another chance.

Do any of you have bad feelings about bad interactions with loved ones, even if decades before they died? I guess the lesson is to be more mindful of my actions in the future.

She knows you loved her.
As we age we recognize the things we do that irritate people. It's only those we love & trust that we show our feelings to.

You were well loved & she knew darn well what she was doing. She was showing her love for you.