suprised by reaction to someone's death

[thinkalot]

The older I get the less surprised I am. Still feel bad as before but not surprised.

[.sparrow.]

Originally Posted by arwenmark

The other night I was watching something on TV that made me think of my very first real boyfriend from when I was 14. He was an artist so I put in his name to see if he had ever put any of his artwork online. the first thing that popped up was his Obituary. I was SHOCKED. He evidently died November 10 2013 at the age of 62.
For some reason this has hit me really hard.
First of all I only had two boyfriends in my life. This one, and my husband. I married at 16, recently celebrated our 50th anniversary.

I have not seen or heard from the other boyfriend, " Peter" for decades. but for some reason learning of his death is really bothering me. He is no just someone I used to know but someone I had deep feelings for even though I was only 14.

Does this seem like a strange over reaction?

No, it's understandable.
Probably what's bothering you the most (maybe subconsciously) is the idea that he died years ago but you didn't know. If he just passed away and you learned of it, it probably wouldn't have affected you in the same way. It could be sort of a.... not really "guilt" type feeling but something similar, like maybe since you were close to him at one point in life, you feel odd that you didn't know he had passed. I know I'm not making sense, probably, but this is kind of hard to explain.

[fluffythewondercat]

I get it.

I looked up my ex-husband a few years ago, only to discover that he had died in 2008 at the age of 57. It was a shock. I wanted to know what the heck happened.

We kept in touch very sporadically after I divorced him for being physically abusive. He told me that he had gained a lot of weight. He was a loner who rarely made friends so I'm guessing he ate to fill his emotional needs.

I ordered his death certificate from Los Angeles County. Cause of death was cardiovascular disease. He spent his last few years in a board-and-care home in Palmdale, probably incapacitated by a stroke or heart attack. He would not have had anyone willing to take care of him. Still, I would have liked to have seen him before he died.