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I lost my mom suddenly and unexpectedly 7 years ago. I didn't dream about her for 2 years and I think that's because I couldn't accept she was gone for that long. She and I had a close/sometimes tumultuous relationship (all on my side, I couldn't accept she was getting older in her 80s). I went into complete denial when she died. I do dream about her occasionally, I sometimes don't see her, just hear her voice in another room and feel that I need to get to where she is right away. I never really mourned the loss of my mom, because I refused to believe she was gone.
This past year, I lost two of my beloved dogs, one was 12.5 and the other was 14.5. The younger one to sudden and fast moving cancer, the other 3 weeks later to a slower moving issue (I think it might have been hemangiosarcoma of the spleen). I hadn't even gotten over the loss of my first guy when the other guy fell ill and I started fighting for his life. I cried for months and am choked up just typing this out. I don't know if I am still mourning my mom along with my boys, but I never cried when I lost my mom (I know, I'm a horrible person, but the shock took over and we had to jump in and take care of my dad who was devastated). The only dreams I have about my boys is that I am protecting them from something, and I don't even think I've dreamed about the younger one yet (again, lost him suddenly and I don't think I've come to terms with his being healthy one day to dying a week later at least with my other boy I had about two weeks of mourning before letting him go).
You are not a bad person! Everyone expresses their grief in their own way. Tears do not equate with how much you love. So stop beating up on yourself and instead be kind to yourself. Give yourself permission to grieve - tears, sadness, anger or whatever you feel at the time - it is okay.
Another thought about grieving. We do not remember ALL of our dreams. There is the possibility that you have processed some of your grief in your dreams. For example, I remember some dreams involving deceased loved ones and pets where I completely broke down and had that heart-wrenching crying.
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Originally Posted by goldenlove
I lost my mom suddenly and unexpectedly 7 years ago. I didn't dream about her for 2 years and I think that's because I couldn't accept she was gone for that long. She and I had a close/sometimes tumultuous relationship (all on my side, I couldn't accept she was getting older in her 80s). I went into complete denial when she died. I do dream about her occasionally, I sometimes don't see her, just hear her voice in another room and feel that I need to get to where she is right away. I never really mourned the loss of my mom, because I refused to believe she was gone.
This past year, I lost two of my beloved dogs, one was 12.5 and the other was 14.5. The younger one to sudden and fast moving cancer, the other 3 weeks later to a slower moving issue (I think it might have been hemangiosarcoma of the spleen). I hadn't even gotten over the loss of my first guy when the other guy fell ill and I started fighting for his life. I cried for months and am choked up just typing this out. I don't know if I am still mourning my mom along with my boys, but I never cried when I lost my mom (I know, I'm a horrible person, but the shock took over and we had to jump in and take care of my dad who was devastated). The only dreams I have about my boys is that I am protecting them from something, and I don't even think I've dreamed about the younger one yet (again, lost him suddenly and I don't think I've come to terms with his being healthy one day to dying a week later at least with my other boy I had about two weeks of mourning before letting him go).
Agreed. We do not know. We should study it and learn more in the coming centuries. What I don’t agree with is with filling in the blanks with wishes and hopes. Let’s confine knowledge to what we actually know, based on evidence. Not on what we want or wish for during difficult times of grief and sadness.
Just a reminder - knowledge and wisdom are two very different things.
What I KNOW is minuscule compared to the reality of what is "out there." So I say I KNOW something but I also say a lot more than what I know is possible, and for that matter inexplainable by what anyone knows.
I'm OK with that.
So I guess my point is this: If you don't believe something that's unprovable one way or the other, that's OK. Just don't push that unprovable belief on others.
Just a reminder - knowledge and wisdom are two very different things.
What I KNOW is minuscule compared to the reality of what is "out there." So I say I KNOW something but I also say a lot more than what I know is possible, and for that matter inexplainable by what anyone knows.
I'm OK with that.
And what you know is all you should ever be making assertions and claims about. Because those assertions and claims come with evidence. Wisdom is knowing when you are at the limit of present knowledge, and not going any further until research and evidence extend the current level of knowledge. “I don’t know” is often the wisest answer and the only correct answer.
I feel like I never dream anymore it’s like something I did as a kid. I remember a dream maybe once a year. I had one a couple of weeks ago where my dad was telling me to take care of myself. When I told him I was he then would tell me to take BETTER care of myself because he didn’t really believe me. He told me about all the things he would do to take care of himself and in the dream I remember thinking that he was not doing anything healthy for himself except for maybe walking a lot. The conversation felt very real. I felt he was telling me I had to take care of myself because he and my mom weren’t there to do it. Now that I think about it my daughter has been lecturing me about exercising more and walking since it’s the start of a new year. In my dream I wondered why mom wasn’t the one telling me to take care of myself then I remembered she already told me that when she was alive.
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
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Yes, I dream of my grandfather and dog that have died.
In my dream, he tells me he can only come for a little while and usually tells me everything will be ok and not to worry. I feel him hug me. I hear his voice. I wake up thinking he's alive, but then I remember he's not. It's such a comforting dream.
I haven't dreamt about other family members who passed.
I also dream about my dog that died very unexpectedly about 2 years ago. I am so happy to see him and he is healthy and playing. I can feel his fur and cuddle with him again. It's very comforting. I haven't had any dreams about my other dogs that have passed.
I don't know if they are visitation dreams or not and I don't care.
Despite having a "wet dishrag" amongst us, I am enjoying reading other's posts of their dreams/visitations. They almost feel like "fuel for your soul", don't they? Especially if you are like me and have no intention of coupling up again.
I bought a bangle bracelet a couple of weeks ago that says what is in my heart...."I am not a widow. I am a wife to a husband who has wings." That is how I feel.
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