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What I don't want is a 24 year old living with me with no degree and working part time and me watching her dog while she sleeps in. That is not going to happen on my watch.
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Originally Posted by FinsterRufus
Hmmm, I don’t get that impression that your granddaughter is that sort of person. I’m a bit surprised you think she is.
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Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
I didn't say she IS that sort of person. I said I won't have that sort of person living in my house. (She's not even 24 - or 23 - or even 22 yet for the record.)
I thought you said she is currently 20.
All she needs to do is get a part-time job to comply with your expectations. And continue school, but if not continuing school, then work full-time)
I take it she doesn't want to continue this semester's classes? Or can she continue? Are the classes she is taking this semester electives in humanities or social sciences, or classes in her major of Sign Language?
1000's of people would LIKE and LOVE to have a dog - but they know the timing is not right.
I know you're an extremely strong dog lover. (you even posted very recently of having a new display of dog paintings or dog photos on the wall of your living room or another room with other dog artifacts in that room - a dog decorating motif.)
But being responsible for a puppy is far from appropriate for a 20 year in her position. If sleeping in cannot be done with dog ownership, then she should give you the dog or find a new home for the dog. If the dog is gone and she has a part-time job and is in school, then it it is none of your business how late she sleeps during mornings! I know you are a very early riser - but you should not apply your preference of sleep upon her.
Maybe she should go back to the Ohio plan of living with a friend or roommate in Ohio - and change schools.
I am considering going back to work but only part time. Frankly, I'm bored. But I also don't need full time benefits or a full time job, which is what's been offered to me. Actually it's four very long days, consecutive, totaling 9 hours or so a day, so that's Wednesday through Saturday. I only want to work three days consecutively (probably shorter days too) and preferably for less money so that I can retain my Survivor Benefits - I am going to be receiving about $2100 a month in Survivor Benefits but my income is capped then at around $19,000 a year, which is only around $1585 per month. So that's around $19 an hour if I work 20 hours a week. And wow, I'm worth that - not trying to be ornery but good grief, when teenagers are making $15 or more an hour for entry level work, I know I'm worth at least $19 an hour.
You know, here's the deal. I don't NEED to work, I WANT to work. I am not motivated by money. The job I was immediately offered is full time and a whole lot more money meaning that I'd need to forego the Survivor Benefits. So honestly, I'd be working full time, which I don't even really want to do, and we need to take off $24,000 from that total because I'd be giving that up - in order to work a full time job. Something close to that is what I am looking at. Anyway, I'm on hold with SS as we speak to verify all that, but I was already told by them that I can only make around $19,000 a year and anything above that will be penalized at $1 for every $2 I receive. So I'd basically be going without it and I don't understand the tax implications either. AUGH.
I just want to work part time and make part time money. I don't have to have other benefits. And I want to work consecutive days (this particular job offer does offer Wednesday through Saturday hours). This job also offers health insurance at about half the cost of what I'm paying now - for an HMO though, not a PPO which I have right now. Also, of course, paid time off, which I wouldn't need if I was working part time! Goodness, so much to think about!
Basically I really don't think I want to work full time. That's it in a nut shell. If I wanted to work full time, I'd do it and be glad about the money, but I'm just not sure the extra money is worth it at this point, especially since I'd be LOSING benefits that my late husband worked so hard for me to have one day.
Have you thought of starting an online business of some kind? There are all kinds of things you can do these days and if you don't need the income you can have a lot of fun monetizing hobbies.
*** I was going to recommend you check out real estate sales, but that doesn't work part-time.
I am considering going back to work but only part time. Frankly, I'm bored. But I also don't need full time benefits or a full time job, which is what's been offered to me. Actually it's four very long days, consecutive, totaling 9 hours or so a day, so that's Wednesday through Saturday. I only want to work three days consecutively (probably shorter days too) and preferably for less money so that I can retain my Survivor Benefits - I am going to be receiving about $2100 a month in Survivor Benefits but my income is capped then at around $19,000 a year, which is only around $1585 per month. So that's around $19 an hour if I work 20 hours a week. And wow, I'm worth that - not trying to be ornery but good grief, when teenagers are making $15 or more an hour for entry level work, I know I'm worth at least $19 an hour.
You know, here's the deal. I don't NEED to work, I WANT to work. I am not motivated by money. The job I was immediately offered is full time and a whole lot more money meaning that I'd need to forego the Survivor Benefits. So honestly, I'd be working full time, which I don't even really want to do, and we need to take off $24,000 from that total because I'd be giving that up - in order to work a full time job. Something close to that is what I am looking at. Anyway, I'm on hold with SS as we speak to verify all that, but I was already told by them that I can only make around $19,000 a year and anything above that will be penalized at $1 for every $2 I receive. So I'd basically be going without it and I don't understand the tax implications either. AUGH.
I just want to work part time and make part time money. I don't have to have other benefits. And I want to work consecutive days (this particular job offer does offer Wednesday through Saturday hours). This job also offers health insurance at about half the cost of what I'm paying now - for an HMO though, not a PPO which I have right now. Also, of course, paid time off, which I wouldn't need if I was working part time! Goodness, so much to think about!
Basically I really don't think I want to work full time. That's it in a nut shell. If I wanted to work full time, I'd do it and be glad about the money, but I'm just not sure the extra money is worth it at this point, especially since I'd be LOSING benefits that my late husband worked so hard for me to have one day.
IMO, I would NOT do anything that would jeopardize the "survivor benefits" or any other benefit that had been worked for al those years, and why should you.
Of course the best thing would be if you were to be paid off the books, but jobs like that are so far and few.
I totally get why you want to work P/T, as opposed to F/T, I'd feel the same was as well.
Just enough to keep you busy, to get out, see people, do something, but not busy enough where life is only about working.
All she needs to do is get a part-time job to comply with your expectations. And continue school, but if not continuing school, then work full-time)
I take it she doesn't want to continue this semester's classes? Or can she continue? Are the classes she is taking this semester electives in humanities or social sciences, or classes in her major of Sign Language?
1000's of people would LIKE and LOVE to have a dog - but they know the timing is not right.
I know you're an extremely strong dog lover. (you even posted very recently of having a new display of dog paintings or dog photos on the wall of your living room or another room with other dog artifacts in that room - a dog decorating motif.)
But being responsible for a puppy is far from appropriate for a 20 year in her position. If sleeping in cannot be done with dog ownership, then she should give you the dog or find a new home for the dog. If the dog is gone and she has a part-time job and is in school, then it it is none of your business how late she sleeps during mornings! I know you are a very early riser - but you should not apply your preference of sleep upon her.
Maybe she should go back to the Ohio plan of living with a friend or roommate in Ohio - and change schools.
I get it about the dog. The only issue I had with the dog is that I was taking care of it while my granddaughter was gallivanted around with no money and no responsibilities. That's not what I signed up for. I'm not saying she needs to follow my schedule. She just needs to take care of her dog when she can - I'll take care of her the rest of the time. I love that dog. LOVE HER. She's precious and I have the time and energy to spend with her. I just want my granddaughter to understand that there are responsibilities to dog ownership and I want her to take on some of those responsibilities. Like for instance, don't just get up in the morning and let the dog out of her room and let me take care of her for hours while she's sleeping in till 10 or 11 and she's staying out for hours watching movies till after midnight with friends - while I watch the dog again. It's not watching the dog that irritates me - it's her behavior that irritates me. But that's been curtailed and so far she's sticking to the new plan.
She has a full time job and has dropped out of school for this semester because nearly every class she had (3 out of 4 I believe) was an American Sign Language class and wouldn't transfer other than as electives and I believe she already has some electives from last semester. The other was a class in place of a math (a science) and it was hard anyway and she'll need a math instead of that one for her new major. She didn't want such a difficult class to be counted as an elective.
She chose not to go to Ohio for various reasons, including that she'd have more expenses. We're good now. She would have started her new job today but we're under a winter storm warning and the roads are already super slick, so she's going to reschedule. It's full time. YAY!
IMO, I would NOT do anything that would jeopardize the "survivor benefits" or any other benefit that had been worked for al those years, and why should you.
Of course the best thing would be if you were to be paid off the books, but jobs like that are so far and few.
I totally get why you want to work P/T, as opposed to F/T, I'd feel the same was as well.
Just enough to keep you busy, to get out, see people, do something, but not busy enough where life is only about working.
Yes to all of this! I've decided, I am not going to work full time. Going to let the guy know today.
IMO, I would NOT do anything that would jeopardize the "survivor benefits" or any other benefit that had been worked for al those years, and why should you.
Of course the best thing would be if you were to be paid off the books, but jobs like that are so far and few.
I totally get why you want to work P/T, as opposed to F/T, I'd feel the same was as well.
Just enough to keep you busy, to get out, see people, do something, but not busy enough where life is only about working.
AMEN to that. Do nothing, nothing whatsoever to jeopardize that income stream.
AMEN to that. Do nothing, nothing whatsoever to jeopardize that income stream.
I agree totally!
Here are two points that I don't think the owner I've been talking with understands or acknowledges:
1) I don't even have to work full time - heck, I don't even have to work. I just WANT to work, so I want to only work part time.
2) If I do make more than $19,000 - which of course I would if I worked full time - I have to stop my benefits and take $24,000 off my earnings because that income stream is gone. That means that I'd be working a full time job - which I don't need - for about under $500 a month - which I don't need. And their health insurance isn't enticing to me since it's more limited than mine is right now anyway. So I probably wouldn't take advantage of it.
Less than $500 a month doesn't entice me to work full time and long days. I just can't get excited about it even though overall I love the business (interior design) and love the company.
I'd be careful about ragging (ragging, not raging) harshly on your granddaughter about the puppy.
Your posts indicate that you bought the puppy, and that the puppy has been a wonderful and special delight in your life.
And you have not been working a job. And you've had the luxury of not needing to work a job.
It seems you bought the puppy more for yourself. (emotionally and psychologically)
What did you enjoy doing this year? I'd have to say that what I've enjoyed the most is my new puppy, Koda. She is a frustration but also a huge joy.
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Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
I love taking care of my new puppy - she's a hoot.
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Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
I am so grateful for my home, my interests, my new puppy that he never met
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Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
I just brought my first puppy in over 13 years home and she is HILARIOUS. And she is so funny communicating with my two old dogs (both over 13 years old).
Koda, the puppy, is 12 weeks old now and she's sleeping through the night and she's basically housebroken even though she hasn't really learned to go to the door yet - I still have to take her out but she hardly ever pees or poops in the house anymore. She WILL though, so I have to stay on it and be sure to take her out regularly. So far, chewing hasn't been an issue because though she loves to chew on things, she's very easy to distract with a toy.
I love puppies - they seem to be perpetually happy!
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Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
My 19 year old granddaughter lives with me and this is primarily her dog. She's home more than I am. We've got it covered. Thanks!
Once she returns to college (in about a month) I will scale back some when she's gone. The puppy won't be alone much.
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Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
I get your ideas about pets. I have two old dogs and just got a new puppy. I'm 59. The puppy is actually my granddaughter's puppy so hopefully where she goes the dog will go.
Last edited by matisse12; 02-03-2022 at 05:20 PM..
I'd be careful about ragging (ragging, not raging) harshly on your granddaughter about the puppy.
Your posts indicate that you bought the puppy, and that the puppy has been a wonderful and special delight in your life.
And you have not been working a job. And you've had the luxury of not needing to work a job.
It seems you bought the puppy more for yourself. (emotionally and psychologically)
What did you enjoy doing this year? I'd have to say that what I've enjoyed the most is my new puppy, Koda. She is a frustration but also a huge joy.
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I didn't buy the puppy, just to clarify. I never said I bought her. She was a rescued dog from a friend of my granddaughter. She does belong to my granddaughter though I have paid many of her expenses. The plan has always been for her to eventually go with my granddaughter.
Of course I have enjoyed her immensely - she's a hoot! But she's not "my" dog. She lives here for the time being. And I love her to pieces, which is one of the reasons, maybe even the biggest reason, for me not wanting my granddaughter to make poor decisions that would negatively impact the dog. That being said, it's her dog, not my dog, and I do know that. It's hard not to get attached to a puppy though. For me anyway.
Anyway, my grandduaghter and I have cleared the air and reached an agreement so it's all good so far.
You know what's weird? I mean, not really weird but along the lines of grief: over the past few days I have woken up in the morning really, really missing my husband. I even woke up with a start one night thinking he was standing next to me by the bed (I must have dreamed that). I am not walking around actively grieving him throughout the day but he's still there in my mind apparently.
I look at photos of him and he seems so alive in those - up till the last minute actually if that makes sense. I am so, so glad he didn't suffer, but what a shock it was to lose him. I am not sure I will ever really recover from that shock.
It really, really surprised me that I was going around the house sobbing thinking about my granddaughter moving out with the puppy. I am glad that actually happened because it sort of forced my hand to think about the future - I mean, I know my granddaughter won't always live with me and when she goes, she will probably eventually take the dog with her. I'm glad to have to actually think about that, because I really hadn't. it's been good for me overall. And now I think my granddaughter is happier here as well, even though I still think that changing her major is a bad decision. Oh well, at least she has a plan and is working it.
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