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Wow and holy moly. Nothing like a complete shock, live with you there to view it in person, and the police busting down the door, to traumatize. My condolences don't begin to cover this horrorshow.
Trauma like this, I agree with a previous poster that a support group for mom at least, would probably be a good thing. They say the worst nightmare for a parent is burying their child. Add to that the circumstances of this nightmare, and it's, yes, a nightmare.
Thanks for coming here to talk and vent and perhaps seek a path. Please keep us informed.
Marie, I am so sorry. I just lost my son (41) in October to an overdose of Fentanyl. This demon is killing so many drug users who may not even know it's in the drug they're taking. Did they do an autopsy on your sister? I also was shocked because my son had been drug-free for years. He was instead using alcohol, which was a whole 'nother problem and I was very afraid for his health, but I certainly wasn't expecting an OD. I am in multiple grief support groups -- one for people who have lost loved ones to overdoses (run by my city's Medical Examiner's office -- THAT'S how much of an epidemic this is), and the other is Compassionate Friends, for people whose children have died (for any reason). I wish you and your Mom and family sincere condolences and hope you can find support at this difficult time.
I'll be posting this some day. My only sister is six years older than I am, obese, and hypertensive.
I'm sorry Marie Joseph. I know how I'm going to feel when my sister dies. We share memories. Since she is older, she remembers things from when we were quite young that I don't.
I'm sorry to hear/read of your sister's passing. My condolences to you and your family. I don't know if you want to discuss this or not, so if you don't, please just ignore my question.
I'm curious if the police have investigated the death of your sister and her boyfriend? Since it has been almost 2 weeks now, they may have done so. The thing that made me curious is the fact that the bedroom door was locked. That made me wonder if perhaps they were in the house alone at the time or if there might be other people in the house at the time this happened.
I mean... why would someone go into the bedroom and lock the door behind them if they were alone in their own locked house? Even if they thought that someone might break into their house, would you think or expect that a flimsy privacy lock on a bedroom door would keep an intruder out of the bedroom? Just doesn't add up.
Again, my apologies if it's inappropriate to discuss this. Just ignore this if you like, or respond if you want to discuss it. Thank you.
Sorry I left for a bit. I needed to take a break away from pretty much everything for a little bit.
The police have investigated it and in the area there have been 4 other couples who have died due to taking street drugs. They have concluded that there was a batch of street drugs laced with fentanyl that got out there. My sister and her boyfriend were unfortunately the most recent couple to pass away due to this. I had to go back into her house to get a few things out for her daughter and to get the carpet cleaning estimated. Their bedroom door locks from the inside and there was a lot of blood on the floor in 2 spots and some on the wall. We are still waiting for toxicology reports to come back; it could take up to 60 days according to the medical examiner. I was told that the blood was found where they were laying and my close friend's brother who is a police officer and works in narcotics tells me that cocaine can cause lung bleed out.
I found out from my sister's daughter that the boyfriend had the lock on the door because he would go up there and smoke weed. She had no idea that her mom was doing anything and thought that if anything, my sister was sneaking cigarettes up there (she was). They locked the door since her daughter and her son had a key to the house and would open up the door so they likely didn't want to chance either of the kids coming in and seeing them engaging in drinking/drugs/smoking. My sister was pretty adamant that none of her kids see her bad habits.
They also had the door lock since the son (younger) had a bad habit of not knocking on the door and my sister and her boyfriend had been engaged in intimacy. Oops.
Nobody was home when it happened. My sister's son was at his father's house for the weekend since it was his custody weekend and her daughter is out living on her own. Her daughter got nervous when my sister didn't answer the phone or respond to texts then my mom got worried when my sister didn't respond to the phone or answer the door when they went over.
Honestly it is just as well that they had the bedroom door locked since otherwise my mom/brother/niece would have walked in and seen them both deceased.
At this point, the death certificate still says "pending" on it for cause and we still don't know exactly what mix of drugs in her systems caused us to lose her. Just frustrating.
So sorry for your loss especially in those conditions. I had a friend, whose spouse shot her and then killed himself. They were seniors and had health conditions but it is something that bothers me years later.
I hope you and your family find the courage and strength to deal with your feelings. We have a tendency to somehow feel we were negligent and could have changed the results.
Could have, should have, would have.....yet there is nothing we were able to do.
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