Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-12-2021, 06:10 AM
 
Location: Midwest
9,412 posts, read 11,159,448 times
Reputation: 17891

Advertisements

Wow and holy moly. Nothing like a complete shock, live with you there to view it in person, and the police busting down the door, to traumatize. My condolences don't begin to cover this horrorshow.

Trauma like this, I agree with a previous poster that a support group for mom at least, would probably be a good thing. They say the worst nightmare for a parent is burying their child. Add to that the circumstances of this nightmare, and it's, yes, a nightmare.

Thanks for coming here to talk and vent and perhaps seek a path. Please keep us informed.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-13-2021, 01:42 PM
 
Location: Scotland
11 posts, read 12,908 times
Reputation: 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marie Joseph View Post
Sometimes it doesn't seem real and other times I just feel like something just tore part of me away.
Thanks for taking the time to share this with us. You will be feeling all kinds of
emotions just now.

So sorry for your loss.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-13-2021, 04:07 PM
 
15,446 posts, read 21,349,093 times
Reputation: 28701
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marie Joseph View Post
Sometimes it doesn't seem real and other times I just feel like something just tore part of me away.
So sorry for your loss. Losing a sibling definitely can remove a piece of your heart. I cannot imagine what it's like for a parent to lose a child.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-13-2021, 11:09 PM
 
Location: SW Florida
5,589 posts, read 8,402,263 times
Reputation: 11211
Marie, I am so sorry. I just lost my son (41) in October to an overdose of Fentanyl. This demon is killing so many drug users who may not even know it's in the drug they're taking. Did they do an autopsy on your sister? I also was shocked because my son had been drug-free for years. He was instead using alcohol, which was a whole 'nother problem and I was very afraid for his health, but I certainly wasn't expecting an OD. I am in multiple grief support groups -- one for people who have lost loved ones to overdoses (run by my city's Medical Examiner's office -- THAT'S how much of an epidemic this is), and the other is Compassionate Friends, for people whose children have died (for any reason). I wish you and your Mom and family sincere condolences and hope you can find support at this difficult time.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-13-2021, 11:18 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
32,931 posts, read 36,341,370 times
Reputation: 43763
I'll be posting this some day. My only sister is six years older than I am, obese, and hypertensive.

I'm sorry Marie Joseph. I know how I'm going to feel when my sister dies. We share memories. Since she is older, she remembers things from when we were quite young that I don't.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-16-2021, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Islip,NY
20,932 posts, read 28,414,875 times
Reputation: 24913
Very sorry for your loss
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-16-2021, 08:58 PM
 
Location: WA
2,860 posts, read 1,806,215 times
Reputation: 6847
Condolences Marie Joseph. May these Posts give you some comfort.

Please continue to Post as I found comfort here when my loved one died.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-16-2021, 09:49 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
32,931 posts, read 36,341,370 times
Reputation: 43763
Quote:
Originally Posted by sera View Post
Condolences Marie Joseph. May these Posts give you some comfort.

Please continue to Post as I found comfort here when my loved one died.
We all have stuff to do when people die, but she hasn't posted since the 10th. Hopefully she'll come back and talk to us.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-18-2021, 08:39 AM
 
Location: Erie, PA
3,696 posts, read 2,895,030 times
Reputation: 8748
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chas863 View Post
I'm sorry to hear/read of your sister's passing. My condolences to you and your family. I don't know if you want to discuss this or not, so if you don't, please just ignore my question.

I'm curious if the police have investigated the death of your sister and her boyfriend? Since it has been almost 2 weeks now, they may have done so. The thing that made me curious is the fact that the bedroom door was locked. That made me wonder if perhaps they were in the house alone at the time or if there might be other people in the house at the time this happened.

I mean... why would someone go into the bedroom and lock the door behind them if they were alone in their own locked house? Even if they thought that someone might break into their house, would you think or expect that a flimsy privacy lock on a bedroom door would keep an intruder out of the bedroom? Just doesn't add up.

Again, my apologies if it's inappropriate to discuss this. Just ignore this if you like, or respond if you want to discuss it. Thank you.
Sorry I left for a bit. I needed to take a break away from pretty much everything for a little bit.

The police have investigated it and in the area there have been 4 other couples who have died due to taking street drugs. They have concluded that there was a batch of street drugs laced with fentanyl that got out there. My sister and her boyfriend were unfortunately the most recent couple to pass away due to this. I had to go back into her house to get a few things out for her daughter and to get the carpet cleaning estimated. Their bedroom door locks from the inside and there was a lot of blood on the floor in 2 spots and some on the wall. We are still waiting for toxicology reports to come back; it could take up to 60 days according to the medical examiner. I was told that the blood was found where they were laying and my close friend's brother who is a police officer and works in narcotics tells me that cocaine can cause lung bleed out.

I found out from my sister's daughter that the boyfriend had the lock on the door because he would go up there and smoke weed. She had no idea that her mom was doing anything and thought that if anything, my sister was sneaking cigarettes up there (she was). They locked the door since her daughter and her son had a key to the house and would open up the door so they likely didn't want to chance either of the kids coming in and seeing them engaging in drinking/drugs/smoking. My sister was pretty adamant that none of her kids see her bad habits.

They also had the door lock since the son (younger) had a bad habit of not knocking on the door and my sister and her boyfriend had been engaged in intimacy. Oops.

Nobody was home when it happened. My sister's son was at his father's house for the weekend since it was his custody weekend and her daughter is out living on her own. Her daughter got nervous when my sister didn't answer the phone or respond to texts then my mom got worried when my sister didn't respond to the phone or answer the door when they went over.

Honestly it is just as well that they had the bedroom door locked since otherwise my mom/brother/niece would have walked in and seen them both deceased.

At this point, the death certificate still says "pending" on it for cause and we still don't know exactly what mix of drugs in her systems caused us to lose her. Just frustrating.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-18-2021, 09:32 AM
 
9,322 posts, read 16,661,006 times
Reputation: 15773
So sorry for your loss especially in those conditions. I had a friend, whose spouse shot her and then killed himself. They were seniors and had health conditions but it is something that bothers me years later.

I hope you and your family find the courage and strength to deal with your feelings. We have a tendency to somehow feel we were negligent and could have changed the results.

Could have, should have, would have.....yet there is nothing we were able to do.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top