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Old 08-28-2013, 05:18 PM
 
1,373 posts, read 2,957,307 times
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First of all, I have to say I'm multi racial and because I''m mixed with everything I am not/can not be racist. But growing up I always had a rats nest on my hair because my mom was white & she did not know any better as I have kinky 3B-3C hair.

Reason I ask this question, there is a white lady I have become friends with & she has a biracial baby & tonight I baby sat the lil girl & her hair was in very bad condition & it brought deja vu to me. So I asked her mom if I could wash the little baby's hair with normal shampoo as I had run out of the sulphate free kind (sulphate free does not strip the oils) after I bathed her then I proceeded to discuss braiding styles with the mom. She then proceeded to say the baby already took a bath on Saturday & bathing her today will dry out her skin. Because her kid is 50% black so we ran into an argument and she hung up on me & said what do I know about being black, I have 25% black in me, I should run a warm towel over the baby & not wash her in the tub . Now this precious kid is at that precious age where they accidentally pee on themselves as they are being potty trained so these sporadic baths are not sufficient IMO.


I feel she is very misguided. I wish I could ask someone in my family but unfortunately looking back I was also ""abondoned"" hygiene wise.

I'm just mad at life right now

Last edited by angrymillionaire; 08-28-2013 at 05:29 PM..
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Old 08-28-2013, 06:43 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,499 posts, read 54,062,587 times
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bathing and clean hair for a baby are not a function of race. there are many creams and lotions to apply after bathing to keep the skin and hair from drying out. Obviously this woman just doesn't know how to properly care for her child- weather it is biracial or not.
Proper hair care is one reason why many black social workers hesitate to let white couples adopt black or biracial children but all that can be helped with just some education.
Having said that, it is not your place to tell this mother how to care for her child. Maybe she isn't aware you are biracial or maybe she just resents your interference. I don't know what you can do which will not look like being meddlesome. Now if she asks that is something else.
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Old 08-28-2013, 07:23 PM
 
17,183 posts, read 22,902,669 times
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You might give her this link on babycenter:

How to care for a biracial baby's hair? | BabyCenter

and this one for tips:
Biracial - NaturallyCurly.com
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Old 08-29-2013, 10:10 AM
 
1,831 posts, read 4,434,145 times
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There is a white mother of a black child on Youtube who does tutorials. I believe the channel (or her blog) is called Chocolate Hair, Vanilla Care or something like that. Try googling it.

A pediatrician once told me that as long as the "diaper area" of a young child is kept clean, daily baths aren't necessary. I personally didn't like that, but hey...

Also, another pediatrician recommended putting a little baby oil in the bath water to prevent drying. I opted for more natural based products for my kids. SheaMoisture has baby washes; my children use one of them, and it works pretty well. I also personally like body washes; I read that they are more drying than the bar soaps, but my experience has been the opposite.

Regarding hair, SheaMoisture has a children's hair care line, and I like the Curly Qs line as well.
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Old 08-29-2013, 11:07 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,495 posts, read 26,863,876 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bowian View Post

A pediatrician once told me that as long as the "diaper area" of a young child is kept clean, daily baths aren't necessary. I personally didn't like that, but hey...
My daughter got scaly patches behind her knees. Our pediatrician said it was eczema from bathing her too much, and to bathe her once or twice a week, not every day like I had been doing. I followed his advice, and it cleared up. So I guess there is such a thing as "too clean."
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Old 08-29-2013, 12:24 PM
 
1,373 posts, read 2,957,307 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
bathing and clean hair for a baby are not a function of race. there are many creams and lotions to apply after bathing to keep the skin and hair from drying out. Obviously this woman just doesn't know how to properly care for her child- weather it is biracial or not.
Proper hair care is one reason why many black social workers hesitate to let white couples adopt black or biracial children but all that can be helped with just some education.
Having said that, it is not your place to tell this mother how to care for her child. Maybe she isn't aware you are biracial or maybe she just resents your interference. I don't know what you can do which will not look like being meddlesome. Now if she asks that is something else.
It has to be a race issue. We both calmed down & later talked about it & she says her kid is 50% black so her skin & hair is drier than I can imagine so she can't be bathed daily as daily baths can be more drying.

Now at this point I am questioning the state of her marriage because when she was spewing all this nonsense, her husband was there & did not flinch when she said daily baths are drying. Surely l would like to say he cleans his body with soap and water daily.
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Old 08-29-2013, 12:33 PM
 
1,373 posts, read 2,957,307 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
My daughter got scaly patches behind her knees. Our pediatrician said it was eczema from bathing her too much, and to bathe her once or twice a week, not every day like I had been doing. I followed his advice, and it cleared up. So I guess there is such a thing as "too clean."
Yeah her kid is also bathed once or twice a week. To think I bathe twice daily, once a week seems unhygienic to me. But I guess babies are different.
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Old 08-29-2013, 12:37 PM
 
15,546 posts, read 12,012,788 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by angrymillionaire View Post
Now at this point I am questioning the state of her marriage because when she was spewing all this nonsense, her husband was there & did not flinch when she said daily baths are drying. Surely l would like to say he cleans his body with soap and water daily.
Did she mean daily baths are drying to her baby's skin? That isn't nonsense, and I don't really see why her husband would be angry about that. Or maybe that is something her husband has told her. If she is of a different race, then I would think she would be talking to her husband, or her husband's family about any concerns she has. I've heard people of all different races say how showering too much is drying to the skin. And it certainty can be. I take cooler showers because the hot water makes my skin dry and itchy, and no amount of lotion seems to help.
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Old 08-29-2013, 12:44 PM
 
15,546 posts, read 12,012,788 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by angrymillionaire View Post
Yeah her kid is also bathed once or twice a week. To think I bathe twice daily, once a week seems unhygienic to me. But I guess babies are different.
Yes, babies are different. I know you've said you have no interest in having babies, so why are you trying to tell people how to care for their children when you don't have any experience of your own? I don't blame the woman for being annoyed by your advice. I know I wouldn't like someone telling me to do something with my baby that I knew wasn't correct. You've already shown that you don't know about bathing babies, so why is she going to want to listen to more of your advice on this subject?
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Old 08-29-2013, 12:47 PM
 
4,749 posts, read 4,321,209 times
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I found these:

Pressed 4 year-old
Untrained Hair Mom
Diary Of A Hair Princess
Slightly Nerdy Sometimes Cool - AA Hair

These two are the best:
Beads, Braids, & Beyond
Chocolate Hair, Vanilla Hair

Also, look into coconut oil. It's great for hair and skin.
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