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I cannot believe I am NOT ALONE in this!!! Just sad that my mother will be having pictures taken in June at a large event in my dad's honor . . . and she will go to a lot of trouble w/ her appearance . . . and no matter what she does, that hair is gonna ruin the whole thing. There will be pictures - and she is going to be immortalized for posterity (wh./ she talks about a lot) looking very different than she perceives she looks. Just kind of sad.
The pictures might do the trick-altho it would be after your Dad's function. But maybe seeing herself as others do will help.
You would think! But we have continually tried the picture idea. I honestly think she just doesn't see herself as others do. I guess . . . ???? She sees pictures and yes, she will comment on her hair, but it is always b/c some hairdresser didn't do it right, LOL!!! Never seems to <click> w/ her that the reason her hair looks awful is b/c of the style coupled w/ white chunks that make her look half bald. SIGH.
Wow! Sorry you can't convince your Mom to color! And, yes, your Mom is still thinking about dyeing her hair just like they used to think about it when it first came out... "back in the day"... it was considered even risque to color your hair then and unfortunately, there are some places in this world... along with the women there... that still hold to this "standard". And, even if some of them DO dye their hair, they are extremely secretive about it and will lie about it to the umpth degree even though it's pretty obvious to everyone around them that they DO, indeed, dye it! LoL! 'Tis a trip!
As far as getting your Mom to actually "see" how her's really looks... that's a toughy... maybe it's the word "dye" she's opposed to for the reasons expressed above. Maybe she'd be more open to a rinse? Or semi-permanent color? Try putting her picture on one of the websites where you can "try out" different shades and styles... and show her the difference. Tell her how much healthier her hair would be (the colors today with the conditioners DO, in fact, make it much healthier!).
It certainly sounds like it's worth a try... maybe ya'll could all gang up on her and tell her straight out, "Mom, you're hair is making you look older than Whistler's Mother... twice as old as Dad! Is that how you want to look in the pictures with Dad? Like his Mother?" Tell her how much healthier and younger SHE'D LOOK! The worst that can happen is that she doesn't speak to any of you for a while... and that doesn't sound all bad, either!
Wow! Sorry you can't convince your Mom to color! And, yes, your Mom is still thinking about dyeing her hair just like they used to think about it when it first came out... "back in the day"... it was considered even risque to color your hair then and unfortunately, there are some places in this world... along with the women there... that still hold to this "standard". And, even if some of them DO dye their hair, they are extremely secretive about it and will lie about it to the umpth degree even though it's pretty obvious to everyone around them that they DO, indeed, dye it! LoL! 'Tis a trip!
As far as getting your Mom to actually "see" how her's really looks... that's a toughy... maybe it's the word "dye" she's opposed to for the reasons expressed above. Maybe she'd be more open to a rinse? Or semi-permanent color? Try putting her picture on one of the websites where you can "try out" different shades and styles... and show her the difference. Tell her how much healthier her hair would be (the colors today with the conditioners DO, in fact, make it much healthier!).
It certainly sounds like it's worth a try... maybe ya'll could all gang up on her and tell her straight out, "Mom, you're hair is making you look older than Whistler's Mother... twice as old as Dad! Is that how you want to look in the pictures with Dad? Like his Mother?" Tell her how much healthier and younger SHE'D LOOK! The worst that can happen is that she doesn't speak to any of you for a while... and that doesn't sound all bad, either!
Good luck!
Hee Hee - yes, the semantics of it. And you are so right - this all goes back to her sister "dying her hair" back in the 40s!!!!! Only hussies, harlots and loose women DYE THEIR HAIR!!!!
What is so funny . . . mother makes fun of women who say they don't die their hair and use "rinses" instead. She knows there are rinses out there - we daughters plus hairdressers have begged her to try SOMETHING. Even "Loving Care" LOL!!!!! But no, she says she wants to look like her mother (who had white hair and put a silver blue rinse on it!) I promise you - my mom's hair is just like one of her sisters - who died at 86 and still had that patchy hair (not all white!) - if she had not made sure she kept it colored!!!!
I honestly wish we could hold her down and pour something on her hair!!! I really do! We have even pointed out Nancy Reagan and how nice her hair looks, LOL. I guess it just isn't going to happen. We have offered to pay for it and she just gets really upset w/ any mention of it. She thinks her hair is going to magically look beautiful one day when she wakes up. I guess!
Your suggestions are wonderful and would work w/ every other rational person on this earth, I am sure! My mother is some hold over from 1946 I guess. ?????
There are some cancer causing chemicals in hair dyes, so saying it would look and be 'healthier' is not correct. Most women look better with their hair colored, but some won't do it because they want to stay natural or are afraid of the chemicals.
There are some hair dyes out there with no harmful chemicals and they cost quite a bit more.
If the Mom's don't want to dye their hair, how about wigs? That way they don't have to worry about harmful effects and if they dont like it, they can get a different one.
Leave her alone. Shes in her 70s and earned every gray hair. Color is toxic,
looks fake,expensive, and bad for the hair. Im sure she doesnt look so bad.
Its pressure to look younger than we are that drives me crazy. Whats so
bad about getting older. Its life,and its too short to worry about stuff like
this. JMHO
Whoah now! If you use the correct kind and color for your hair, it most certainly is good for your hair, improves the texture dramatically and is nottoxic, especially with all the good conditioning that most contain today. And, salt & pepper hair just looks unkept on a woman (makes men look great, darn it), IMO... especially splotchy as the OP described!
I personally don't think it's a matter of wanting to look younger... but, instead, looking the BEST you can... at ANY age! Frankly, white only washes most every complexion out... and makes one looked aged, no matter what their age is. And, trust me, any of the truely beautiful white hair that you see out there is not "natural", it has been "helped" with a number of products to maintain its' beauty.
If one chooses to let it go "natural", so be it. But, don't think for a minute it looks good... on anyone.
I honestly wish we could hold her down and pour something on her hair!!! I really do!
You can't really do that, but have you considered getting her tipsy?
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