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Edited to add: If you're washing it every day, stop! Every third day should be sufficient, and washing more than that will dry out the natural oils and make it bushy and frizzy.
Absolutely agree. I wash my hair about once every 5 days now. I washed it every day all through childhood until I finally figured out in college that *I* was creating all those bad hairdays myself! I walked around with poofy, unflattering hair for years!
I have "half-Jewish" hair myself so I don't have those spiral curls, just extremely thick, coarse, partly wavy partly straight hair. My hair looks its best the 3rd or 4th day after I wash it, it takes that long to get the hair oils all through.
I wear a bun the first day I wash it, since there's zero chance of good hair that day, then it'll still be damp that night when I take it down. Then I either french braid (if I want curls) or put in 3 or 4 pony tail holders in a row to hold it straight while I sleep. Put on leave-in conditioner in the morning. The third day I use Tigi Bedhead "After Party" which makes my hair look incredibly great and smooth. This may sound complicated, but I really don't spend that much time on my hair. I'm a low-maintenance girl, actually. It just took me years to figure out what to do cause I'm slow that way.
I haven't used this stuff, but I have just "discovered" Matrix conditioners and they are wonderful. I highly recommend matrix for thick/dry haired people.
Another wonderful moisture/smoothing product is Abba Hair Botz.
Firstly, stop washing it so much; it's not cauasian hair. I'm assuming you're cauasian and your daughter is suffering from my cousin call "white mama syndrome" (I'm biracial, but my mom's black so my hair was always perfect. My cousin wasn't so lucky and ended up practically baldheaded until my mom took pity on her mom.)
Lighten up on the washing and I'm guessing it won't matter what product you use. Also get thee to a black stylist asap. The reason why black girls generally have cute hair is because their mama is smart enough to let someone with training do it. No bowl cuts or anything of that nature. A stylist will give you the best products and help your child learn to take care of her own hair.
Firstly, stop washing it so much; it's not cauasian hair. I'm assuming you're cauasian and your daughter is suffering from my cousin call "white mama syndrome" (I'm biracial, but my mom's black so my hair was always perfect. My cousin wasn't so lucky and ended up practically baldheaded until my mom took pity on her mom.)
Lighten up on the washing and I'm guessing it won't matter what product you use. Also get thee to a black stylist asap. The reason why black girls generally have cute hair is because their mama is smart enough to let someone with training do it. No bowl cuts or anything of that nature. A stylist will give you the best products and help your child learn to take care of her own hair.
Good luck and my sympathies!
Wow, I feel rather insulted by your post. I'm not sure if that was your intent. I shampoo her hair once a week. I'm not stupid and not fond of bowl cuts. I'm just, as I admitted, completely inept when it comes to hair. I can't even do my own, but that's a personal problem. I just need to get my daughter through the early years until she can do her own.
Everyone else has been really helpful. I believe I've received a lot of excellent advice from others for which I'm grateful.
It certainly wasn't the goal of my post. Other posts mentioned that the frequency of washing might be a contributing factor and as someone who has mixed hair, I didn't see how my comments were out of line.
It's interesting however, that the only comment that ticked you was from someone who actually has the kind of hair you're dealing with.
Sorry you were insulted. Not my intention. I don't recall suggesting you were stupid; most black moms don't try to tackle the hair themselves. It has nothing to do with intelligence and everything to do with ease of styling and soothing of a mom's nerves.
But this is the internet, where tone is easily misperceived!
It certainly wasn't the goal of my post. Other posts mentioned that the frequency of washing might be a contributing factor and as someone who has mixed hair, I didn't see how my comments were out of line.
It's interesting however, that the only comment that ticked you was from someone who actually has the kind of hair you're dealing with.
Sorry you were insulted. Not my intention. I don't recall suggesting you were stupid; most black moms don't try to tackle the hair themselves. It has nothing to do with intelligence and everything to do with ease of styling and soothing of a mom's nerves.
But this is the internet, where tone is easily misperceived!
I'm sorry. I can be overly sensitive - can I blame it on the tantrums my toddler has been throwing nonstop today? As suggested, I will definitely take her to a stylist. The only thing I did know was to not wash it daily, but you had no way of knowing that. All of the products I've tried thus far haven't worked very well, but I'll keep trying. Thanks for your help!
It certainly wasn't the goal of my post. Other posts mentioned that the frequency of washing might be a contributing factor and as someone who has mixed hair, I didn't see how my comments were out of line.
It's interesting however, that the only comment that ticked you was from someone who actually has the kind of hair you're dealing with.
Sorry you were insulted. Not my intention. I don't recall suggesting you were stupid; most black moms don't try to tackle the hair themselves. It has nothing to do with intelligence and everything to do with ease of styling and soothing of a mom's nerves.
But this is the internet, where tone is easily misperceived!
No offense to anyone but Sundialstreet's post was the only one that made since for that type of hair besides the one that mentioned Carol's Daughter.
If you are washing her hair once a week and it is still dry, it sounds like you aren't using any grease, oil, mosturizer, etc. Are you using grease or any type of mosturizer? I haven't found a good hair grease in the store because they all contain petrolatum or mineral oil which isn't good for hair. I have found great products online at Carol's Daughter. They are more expensive but they have definitely been worth it.
"If you are washing her hair once a week and it is still dry, it sounds like you aren't using any grease, oil, mosturizer, etc. Are you using grease or any type of moisturizer?"
I've just been using the Mixed Chicks deep conditioner and their leave-in conditioner. I also have a detangler (forgot the brand). Sounds like I need to add another step in there, so I'll order some stuff from Carol's Daughter and make a hair appointment soon.
Thanks, everyone, for taking the time to respond. Sorry again, Sundialstreet, for being so touchy. After rereading that, I felt like slapping myself.
Please don't use grease! It weighs hair down and clogs sebaceous glands in the scalp. The regiment you will need to use depends on the length, thickness, and amount of curl or wave in your child's hair. If you're going for quick and cheap, I also second Creme of Nature Shampoo (shampoo and conditioner in one). It has a GREAT detangling effect and if you use a wide tooth comb, comb it while the conditoner is still in, rinse, and other than towel blotting and adding moisturizer, DO NOT touch her hair. If your child has curly hair, it will look great for up to 5 days. For a moisturizer, I use John Frieda Frize Ease collection; the extra strength serum and volume reducer. You can also do the wash and twist; twist all of her hair into 2 stranded braids (depending on her hair, you may only need 6-8 if her hair is long and thick) and take them out in the morning. If you rebraid every evening, this can last a week. Also, go to Naturallycurly.com: Where curls come to life!. They've got some great forums about what products work best depending on your hair type.
Please don't use grease! It weighs hair down and clogs sebaceous glands in the scalp.
Carol's Daughter products don't contain Petrolatum or Mineral Oil, which is what clogs the sebaceous glands in the scalp.
Also, everyone has recommended seeing a professional. Please note that not all professionals do things that are good for the hair. Try to find someone that specializes in "healthy hair".
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so I don't have those spiral curls, just extremely thick, coarse, partly wavy partly straight hair. My hair looks its best the 3rd or 4th day after I wash it, it takes that long to get the hair oils all through. 
