I just don't do what others would like me to do with my own hair (cut, colored)
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I have always had thin, wiry, tangly, but at the same time kind of lengthy hair. It's either 4a or b texture, not really sure about that one. When young, my mother constantly told me that she hated my hair because it just wouldn't do anything, and I've pretty much gotten that response from hair stylists all my life.
When I got older, I colored it and probably killed the stuff.
So nowadays I pack it all under wigs because I'm sick and tired of my hair, and I refuse to cut it all off anymore (did that so many years ago and it absolutely does not look good on me - I look like a dude). But people seem to get angry at me for not either cutting it all off or letting it fly all over looking completely crazy, and I also refuse going to salons. My income as well as my health has hindered my ability to get to hair shops and then sitting for hours is just not doable. Plus, I never did go to salons - always did it myself.
Here was my hair in an updo from many years ago. Very dry hair. Sorry the photo is not all that great, was taken way back when... and I'm not knowledgable in posting images on this site.
Anyhow, I have now lost quite of bit of my hair as it is thinning, plus it really, really looks bad and will never return to its former state because of health and medications, so I'm basically just wearing wigs now, and I'm comfortable with doing that. The wigs come fairly close to looking my former hair, but even when I was wearing my own, people thought I was wearing wigs
Still, ever so often I get someone who seems rather angry at me for not wearing my real hair even though I have explained to them that I cannot continue to wrestle everyday with it. Plus, it's constantly falling out in patches and has been doing so since I developed a serious medical condition.
So my question is, why do so many people tell women like myself to either spend lots of time and money in salons or cut it all off? Why so much hatred for wig wearers?
Is it the quality of the wigs that people object to perhaps? Maybe they very obviously look like wigs? I went to school with a girl who sometimes wore a wig while undergoing chemo, and I know she didn't want to spend a lot of money on something temporary, but her wig was bad, really bad and plastic looking, like the bad toupee joke bad. Lovely girl, I always thought she looked much better with just a scarf or cap and without the wig, but I suppose it gave her a boost of confidence and that's what counted in the end.
As far as telling you to cut it off they are probably assuming that a close cut would remove the damaged hair and let you grow healthy looking hair. Obviously not the case here, but not something others would be aware of.
I agree that it's not anyone's business but your own, but unfortunately that never really stops some people from making comments.
Is it the quality of the wigs that people object to perhaps? Maybe they very obviously look like wigs? I went to school with a girl who sometimes wore a wig while undergoing chemo, and I know she didn't want to spend a lot of money on something temporary, but her wig was bad, really bad and plastic looking, like the bad toupee joke bad. Lovely girl, I always thought she looked much better with just a scarf or cap and without the wig, but I suppose it gave her a boost of confidence and that's what counted in the end.
As far as telling you to cut it off they are probably assuming that a close cut would remove the damaged hair and let you grow healthy looking hair. Obviously not the case here, but not something others would be aware of.
I agree that it's not anyone's business but your own, but unfortunately that never really stops some people from making comments.
You're probably right. I wear wigs that look like wigs because I really can't afford spending anywhere near a hundred dollars on hair. Thing is also, I've got a really small, unusually shaped head plus tend to break out when my neck is exposed. Not kidding. And the hair at the nape goes all the way down to my back, the neck gets terrible bumps and more rashes if it's shaved. I was heavily teased about that when I was a kid into adulthood. One beautician (when I did go) actually gasped.
Guess I'll try a better wig at a reasonable price. Thanks.
Are these people who get angry about your hair people you consider friends? Or is it family? Or just strangers who come up to you and advise you about your hair?
If they’re friends, you might need a new group of friends. Family, tell them to mind their own business.
Are these people who get angry about your hair people you consider friends? Or is it family? Or just strangers who come up to you and advise you about your hair?
If they’re friends, you might need a new group of friends. Family, tell them to mind their own business.
Anyone else, I can’t imagine the scenario.
Family and some other acquaintances. I have been criticized an awful lot in my life over how I look. It's been rough dealing with people who never seem to be satisfied with me just the way I am.
Family and some other acquaintances. I have been criticized an awful lot in my life over how I look. It's been rough dealing with people who never seem to be satisfied with me just the way I am.
I have a sign taped to the mirror next to my back door that says: "The ONLY PERSON you need to please" with arrows pointing to the mirror. I don't know how old you are, but once I got up into my mid-40s that (pleasing myself first and not worrying about what others think) got progressively easier.
I have 4b/4c natural hair that's now about 10% gray. A couple of Halloweens ago I wore a bright orange, straight-haired wig to work as part of my costume and one of my coworkers had the nerve to tell me he preferred the wig. Comments like THAT are one big reason why I haven't straightened my hair since 2003 and why I refuse to wear wigs for any reason outside of Halloween.
The first time I big-chopped my cousin said my head wasn't the right shape for a short cut. That was in 1995. I've big-chopped 6 additional times since then and if anything my head's gotten even more weirdly shaped. I haven't seen my cousin's own hair in several years now...
I hope you're getting my point. People are ALWAYS going to have something to say. DO YOU.
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