Should Step-Mom Drastically alter kids hair? (fashion, beauty, looks, thin)
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sounds like mom is trying to cause trouble for stepmom~ your attitude is doing you no good! Stepmom well within her rights~ and dauther likes her new cut and mom trying to cut her down for it! If you do not like hairstyle send your daughter back to her dad and stepmom~ at least they are civil with the kid!
I found this thread and just had to laugh... when my youngest daughter was 15... right before Christmas, she was over at a friends house... she decided to color her hair. I never really cared about their hair... it grows back...whatever... Much to my surprise... when I went to pick her up she had a towel around her head and said she'd be a few minutes. I should have known something was amiss when one of the boys who was there had blue hair with bleached stars in it...so we get out to the car and she had a wrap around her head...I tell her to take it off... OMG... it was a dye job gone OH so wrong...the roots... seriously... were safety cone orange...and the rest was YELLOW... not blonde. After my shock I laughed hysterically while she cried....I told her that if she wanted to go to all the family Christmas parties like that she could... but if she decided not to she would be using her Christmas $ to get it fixed. She opted to get it fixed...However, she was not without fun poked at her by us and her normal hairdresser. He straight out asked her if she was trying to be a canary. At that time her hair was dark brown, short and spiked.
She has since colored her hair many times/colors...she's 25 now with a family all her own. My only regret is I didn't manage to get a picture of her!
She does come from a family of tattoed and pierced people...but this was the best one yet!
I am SO glad I don't have teenagers anymore!!!!
I found this thread and just had to laugh... when my youngest daughter was 15... right before Christmas, she was over at a friends house... she decided to color her hair. I never really cared about their hair... it grows back...whatever... Much to my surprise... when I went to pick her up she had a towel around her head and said she'd be a few minutes. I should have known something was amiss when one of the boys who was there had blue hair with bleached stars in it...so we get out to the car and she had a wrap around her head...I tell her to take it off... OMG... it was a dye job gone OH so wrong...the roots... seriously... were safety cone orange...and the rest was YELLOW... not blonde. After my shock I laughed hysterically while she cried....I told her that if she wanted to go to all the family Christmas parties like that she could... but if she decided not to she would be using her Christmas $ to get it fixed. She opted to get it fixed...However, she was not without fun poked at her by us and her normal hairdresser. He straight out asked her if she was trying to be a canary. At that time her hair was dark brown, short and spiked.
She has since colored her hair many times/colors...she's 25 now with a family all her own. My only regret is I didn't manage to get a picture of her!
She does come from a family of tattoed and pierced people...but this was the best one yet!
I am SO glad I don't have teenagers anymore!!!!
LOL, that brings back memories of when I decided to dye my hair from goth black to cheerleader blonde... needless to say that much black dye doesn't give up without a fight, it was not pretty! I remember my mom laughing at me too!
My final call is that step-mom negatively altered my child's social life negatively, and I hope other step moms reading this think twice before bonding with their step-kids over scissors and Manic Panic Magenta hairdye.
And it also shows how appearance-freaky many people are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fabumom07
My point is that there can be negative social consequences to an extreme style and it is a PARENTAL decision to be made by the parent and child.
And you are right. The stepmother should have come to you first. If someone went and cut my daughter's hair right now... I would be a most upset kitten. Her hair *when straightened* goes all the way past her rear, but the weight has not taken out her baby curls - so it always looks like someone use a curling iron on her hair.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flamingo13
You should really post in Relationships - as this is more a "family" issue more than a fashion issue.
On Contrare, this thread demonstrated very well how fashion and perceived fashion affects one's surroundings. This is also an older thread, too.
At 14, my teen daughter made her own hair choices without asking for my imput. Some I loved and most I hated....but it was her hair. If her retarded hairstyles bothered the neighborhood, I could have cared less. She had a right to make her own statement....and face her own embarassments.
She is now 19 and when I saw her this weekend...she had pink hi-lights. AARRG!
That sounds EXACTLY how I had my hair when I was in the 14 year old range. Black, reverse mullet with pink and purple stripes... then I shaved it, then had mohawk, shaved again, then went with platinum blonde 'marilyn monroe' style cut. I REALLY miss being able to mess with my hair. I say, let her do it! When she's in her 20s, trying to find a job she's going to have to dye her hair a 'normal' color and have a boring office job cut.
I did a lot of things with 'crazy hair', including my lecture at UCLA on genetic lymposomal disorders when I was 16. Bright flourescent pink mohawk and all . To the OP, she seems like a creative, interesting young girl. Have you thought about getting her into an art class? Maybe buying her a cheap guitar to play with? Music helped me quite a bit when I was her age, and it let me have some common ground with other 'weirdos'.
Let her do her thing, I'm sure she'll grow up to be an upstanding citizen, pink hair and all
Hello everyone. My 14 year old daughter came back from her visit with Daddy and family with the hair of her dreams- A sort of reverse mullet with extremely short back, very long front pieces, spikey bangs over her eyes, all of it jet black with thick hot pink stripes and highlights. Whew,that was hard to even describe.
Step mom took her to a beauty salon with an anime character illustration as the goal, and let the punk rock hairdresser have at it. That was in CA and we live in Indiana. My daughter still likes it, but thinks the back is too short, I get the feeling stepmom did not help moderate the style at all. My daughter obviously wants to express herself, which I let her do. However, I am very concerned that my daughter will be judged here in IN, and she has had trouble with depression that has caused her to be unable to attend school, so I will be homeschooling her this year. Please no comments on that, just the hair issue. I am very concerned other parents will now see her as trouble, and it will be hard for her to form new friendships, school and church groups, etc. She is a sweet , very respectful and creative girl.
I had told her she could get a cut and highlights in CA, but nothing too drastic.There was no communication from the other parents, there rarely is. I think it was very irresponsible for step mom - whose own look is very "wives of OC" and whose own daughters have normal hair- to go do this with my daughter. She is in her early 40's BTW, and knows better.
What does everyone else think?
Happens all the time when a non-custodial father gets visitation with their daughters. Who knows if its him or the new girlfriend or spouse- Do the research if you don't believe me.
When it happened to me I began the research and then took him to court and the court order was modified to add
no alterations of hair, skin, teeth, or any other part of the child's body can be made without the express written consent of the mother
Yep, the very first time my daughter's father visited- he cut her hair. She was a tot and had beautiful pig tails... but when she returned-with tears-it was a bowl. Shame on him!
So, get it in visitation orders- that the ncp cannot make alterations.
Just a thought...I think its funny how everyone preaches about whats on the inside that matters...and then they contradict themselves to a child and freak about how they look....instead of pushing them to succeed with something cultivated from within like art,athletics,scholastics....
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At that time her hair was dark brown, short and spiked.
. To the OP, she seems like a creative, interesting young girl. Have you thought about getting her into an art class? Maybe buying her a cheap guitar to play with? Music helped me quite a bit when I was her age, and it let me have some common ground with other 'weirdos'. 
