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Old 07-29-2013, 12:01 PM
 
1,264 posts, read 2,425,596 times
Reputation: 581

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I'm in my very late 20s currently living in NOVA.
I hate the area, the traffic, high prices, crowds, and general just inhospitable.

I have Aspergers and have struggled to make friends and maintain work. My goal is to work at in Academia or a research/learning environment doing research related to Geography/Demography/Social Science; however at this point I'd settle for any job in such an environment that can pay bills. I am not cut out for the 9-5 corporate lifestyle.

So basically I'm looking to relocate to an area which is affordable (where I can have my own place, no roommate), nice, and "open" to people of my kind where I can in their friendless and the community is welcoming enough that I can find things to do, clubs, groups, people and have a more fulfilling life.

I LOVE the beach, love it. That is my main draw.

1) I wanted to know if the VA Beach is good fit for a person with my traits vs. say Raleigh/CH or Charlottesville?
2) Or if this place is too tourist/military based an economy I'd have trouble finding work and is too transient and not as inviting to an outsider like me.

3) I'd also like to know, is it realistic with say a 40K salary to get a nice 1 BR within 30 minutes of the beach?
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Old 07-29-2013, 01:26 PM
 
Location: Hampton Roads
3,032 posts, read 4,717,567 times
Reputation: 4425
I think if you are someone where you LOVE the beach, absolutely LOVE it.... then, I do feel this may be a great area for you. For some people, the beach has a calming effect and it that is something that has that effect on you or you enjoy beach funtivities, you would probably do better here than C'Ville or Raleigh. I feel like it is a warm, welcoming area. A lot of people are transplants, so I liked that when I moved there was no "I'm a new person" feeling. For me! maybe not for everyone. That being said, I really enjoy Raleigh and working in academia might be a bit easier to do down there between Raleigh and Durham....

I can't say if you'd have trouble finding work. I guess it would be what could you do in order to pay the bills? A lot of the people I knew here who couldn't find jobs were unwilling to start at the bottom for a foot in the door somewhere. I have some friends who work in geology here and some friends that work in environmental consulting. So there's stuff here, but I don't know how hard it is to get into those places.

I think you can live here on 40,000 per year. I think it is realistic, it's just knowing how to budget and realize what is a need vs. what is a want. Housing here is expensive to rent considering wages aren't really that high. But if you keep looking, you can find something! I am hoping to sublet my $530/mo apartment at some point this year! It's the cheapest place around (compared to $800+ elsewhere), about ten minutes from the beach.... LOL!
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Old 07-29-2013, 10:41 PM
 
3,848 posts, read 9,288,880 times
Reputation: 2024
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hudlander View Post
I'm in my very late 20s currently living in NOVA.
I hate the area, the traffic, high prices, crowds, and general just inhospitable.

I have Aspergers and have struggled to make friends and maintain work. My goal is to work at in Academia or a research/learning environment doing research related to Geography/Demography/Social Science; however at this point I'd settle for any job in such an environment that can pay bills. I am not cut out for the 9-5 corporate lifestyle.

So basically I'm looking to relocate to an area which is affordable (where I can have my own place, no roommate), nice, and "open" to people of my kind where I can in their friendless and the community is welcoming enough that I can find things to do, clubs, groups, people and have a more fulfilling life.

I LOVE the beach, love it. That is my main draw.

1) I wanted to know if the VA Beach is good fit for a person with my traits vs. say Raleigh/CH or Charlottesville?
2) Or if this place is too tourist/military based an economy I'd have trouble finding work and is too transient and not as inviting to an outsider like me.

3) I'd also like to know, is it realistic with say a 40K salary to get a nice 1 BR within 30 minutes of the beach?
Oh heavens no. People here will think you're "cute" and then brush you to the side.

Although you love the beach you might have to settle on an area further away (like the Raleigh area) and take your vacations at the shore.

I am not familiar with the Raleigh area so I really can't give you suggestions for there, but I can absolutely 100% tell you that Hampton Roads is not the place for you. If you think NoVA is bad, imagine it 10x worse and you'll get your life in HR.
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Old 07-30-2013, 05:54 AM
 
Location: Hampton Roads
3,032 posts, read 4,717,567 times
Reputation: 4425
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coconut1 View Post
Oh heavens no. People here will think you're "cute" and then brush you to the side.

Although you love the beach you might have to settle on an area further away (like the Raleigh area) and take your vacations at the shore.

I am not familiar with the Raleigh area so I really can't give you suggestions for there, but I can absolutely 100% tell you that Hampton Roads is not the place for you. If you think NoVA is bad, imagine it 10x worse and you'll get your life in HR.
Honestly, I lived in NoVA for about two years after I graduated and I would say the complete opposite. The people in NoVA were mean and entitled. Every girl that I knew there was competing with me about something, like she had to prove her self worth by being better than me, prettier than me, smarter than me, richer than me. The competition culture got to me. I lived in DC for a little while and liked it better than NoVA, but so far the people who I say will always be my lifelong pals I have met here, when I was severely depressed and didn't want to come out of my shell these people helped me. I had no family nearby and I made great friends with others in the same boat.

I don't think they will brush this person to the side at all. While I have been here, I have met some of the warmest, friendliest, "I will do anything for you" type of people. Maybe I just got really lucky where I have worked in the past because I've always made and kept great friends that way in this area. When I first got here, I kept to myself, refused to let anyone in, and it was under their pressure that I opened my life up to allow others in.

Also, if this person is a beach person or an outdoors near the beach kind of person, they can get into a million different activities to make friends. I just started kayaking and paddleboarding. I also go to Lego Nights at Cafe Stella in Norfolk. I am also part of a frisbee golf club here.

Every area is going to be exactly what you make it. I don't think you can say that 100% some place is not the place for someone. Maybe your experience isn't how you want it to be, but that doesn't mean that this person can't make it here.
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Old 07-30-2013, 07:12 AM
 
2,189 posts, read 7,682,368 times
Reputation: 1294
I've witnessed two people over the past 30 days whine about how hard it is to make friends and meet girls here. However, I absolutely agree with Coconuts1 that this is not the place for the OP. I would further recommend that the most warm/open place is Columbia SC. I have some family there and have gone out by myself and was surprised have the locals approach and talk to you in the downtown area.

Regardless of where you go, I've stated repeatedly the best way to make friends is to join a group fitness place the day you arrive, such as crossfit, mma, yoga, spin, etc. You also need to learn how to approach women ASAP as the "I'm the new guy card" only lasts so long...Even if you can't score any dates with the women, if they're willing still hang out with you, male friends will follow. If you're socially awkward, joining a frisbee golf club still won't lead you to gaining any friends.
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Old 07-30-2013, 07:27 PM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,683 posts, read 41,560,654 times
Reputation: 41302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hudlander View Post
I'm in my very late 20s currently living in NOVA.
I hate the area, the traffic, high prices, crowds, and general just inhospitable.

I have Aspergers and have struggled to make friends and maintain work. My goal is to work at in Academia or a research/learning environment doing research related to Geography/Demography/Social Science; however at this point I'd settle for any job in such an environment that can pay bills. I am not cut out for the 9-5 corporate lifestyle.

So basically I'm looking to relocate to an area which is affordable (where I can have my own place, no roommate), nice, and "open" to people of my kind where I can in their friendless and the community is welcoming enough that I can find things to do, clubs, groups, people and have a more fulfilling life.

I LOVE the beach, love it. That is my main draw.

1) I wanted to know if the VA Beach is good fit for a person with my traits vs. say Raleigh/CH or Charlottesville?
2) Or if this place is too tourist/military based an economy I'd have trouble finding work and is too transient and not as inviting to an outsider like me.

3) I'd also like to know, is it realistic with say a 40K salary to get a nice 1 BR within 30 minutes of the beach?
1. I do not think VA Beach is a good fit for you. I think Raleigh fits better for you and is more affordable with the jobs you desire.
2. HR is not a good place to need work if you are not connected with the military, shipbuilding, government, or tourism.
3. HR is not much cheaper than NoVA plus the wage scale is pretty awful when you factor in housing.
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Old 07-31-2013, 04:11 AM
 
Location: Roanoke, VA
1,813 posts, read 4,198,457 times
Reputation: 1177
I agree with the Dissenter. This area is a tough job market and the military presence keeps housing costs high.

Good luck, Hudlander.
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Old 07-31-2013, 06:54 AM
 
Location: Newport News, Virginia
368 posts, read 992,621 times
Reputation: 285
We lived in the Triangle area a few years ago and found it to be very friendly. We lived in a small town outside Chapel Hill called Carrboro. For a small area, there was a lot to do, and we really liked it. It's kind of a small, artsy area--a little less uptight than Chapel Hill, and, overall, probably a little more accepting of individual differences. I've had friends who've lived in Durham, and they really liked it there, too.

We've been in Hampton Roads (Newport News) for four years now and have found it to be a friendly area. We like it and have been happy here. In general, though, I've always thought it was easier to make friends in smaller places. There are a ton of transplants in the Triangle, so everybody is sort of in the same boat friend-wise. The drawback, of course, is that you're nowhere near the ocean. We used to drive to Carolina Beach, which is a great beach, but is, like, three hours away. The beach is a huge draw for us here in HR--it would be hard for us to leave it behind, although, ultimately, our goal will probably be to settle in a smaller area.

Best of luck with your search. My best friend used to live in Williamsburg, but spent a lot of time in Charlottesville--she LOVED it there.
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Old 07-31-2013, 07:48 PM
 
1,264 posts, read 2,425,596 times
Reputation: 581
What is the main reason you feel I would not like this area?
LOL do you just not like me or is this area not full of young adults like Triangle, bad traffic, and that it is too expensive to live 15-30 from the beach?
I don't get it.

Being from NOVA, how bad could traffic be?
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Old 08-01-2013, 07:06 AM
 
Location: Newport News, Virginia
368 posts, read 992,621 times
Reputation: 285
Well, personally, I really like it here, and I think you probably would, too. The beach here is great, (being closer to the coast) the weather is a little more temperate than the Triangle, and, like I said, I have found the people to be welcoming. For me, personally, though, if I was moving somewhere by myself and didn't know anybody there, I would prefer to be in a smaller town (and you can't get much smaller than Carrboro). There was a lot to do (including a very active nightlife) in a very small space and the people were mostly young and welcoming. It was a very unique place (small town that was also hip and--for lack of a better term--happening). If you're a young, single guy who is in any way artsy or quirky, I'd say it would be pretty much ideal.

But, you love the beach. And Virginia Beach is a really nice one. The traffic can be a hassle, but if you stay on "your" side of the tunnels, it's really not that big a deal. We really like Hampton Roads (but we're a family of six). Someone else would have to give you advice on what it's like to be single here. But, as for me, I say, come on down!
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