Bullying in the VAB middle schools... (Hampton: racist, single, moved)

[rtandc]

Originally Posted by wsbesier

You hit the nail right on the head. One day of ISS. Apparently my son provoked getting punched in the face. I'm still debating on whether to follow up with the SRO or let it pass as keeping the attention on this creep will just drag it out for the whole darn year and my son with be the "snitch".As far as the comment about why I could sue the school. How about not providing a safe evnironment for my child to go to school. Would it take a child being kicked so many times in the head that he was blinded (recently in the news) or perhaps a law suit would only be necessary after a bullied child takes his or her own life after parents pleaded repeatedly to get help with bullies at their child's school.I personally was not bullied but grew up going to a pretty rough Middle School school in Ft. Lauderdale after a Hurricane destroyed ours and I had to fight my way through. It's not fun. Loose, loose situation I reckon.
BTW, my apologies for the look of the paragraph. I guess I don't get formatting as a newbie.

I understand you anger but you must understand the law.....The school does provide a safe environment for your child, but it is not the schools responsibility for the safety of your child on individual assaults that may take place. That would be like saying I am going to sue the city of Va Bch and its Police Department because my home was broken into and they are suppose to protect me....

[wsbesier]

Originally Posted by rtandc

I understand you anger but you must understand the law.....The school does provide a safe environment for your child, but it is not the schools responsibility for the safety of your child on individual assaults that may take place. That would be like saying I am going to sue the city of Va Bch and its Police Department because my home was broken into and they are suppose to protect me....

I somewhat understand the law and there are laws against bullying, harassment, and intimidation but it is largely left up to the school board to determine each case and how it would be dealt with. It does make me angry and if it didn't, what kind of parent would I be?

[rtandc]

Originally Posted by wsbesier

I somewhat understand the law and there are laws against bullying, harassment, and intimidation but it is largely left up to the school board to determine each case and how it would be dealt with. It does make me angry and if it didn't, what kind of parent would I be?

True but the school or school board can only take action against the person in question administratively. The only person that can take criminal action against this person is you and your son

[Freefreq]

Your Daughter didnt Snitch on anyone she just told YOU and YOU the parent snitched. Did you as a parent not INSURE your daughters name would NOT be brought into the picture when they said they would look into all of this ??

Thats one of the first things I would of asked.

I understand we all want to protect our kids but we also at times do more harm then good and this is a PRIME example here.

[invabeach4now]

Failure to provide a "free and appropriate education". It's law.

[wsbesier]

"Imagine what your life would be like if all you had to look forward to each day was torment from your co-workers or piers. Imagine being shoved, laughed at, called names, hit, and your belongings are stolen from you or damaged while everyone chuckles in the background. Imagine your self esteem and sense of self worth being whittled away to nothing while you know there is no other option available to you but to endure. Imagine the dread each new day would bring if this description fit your daily existence. This is a situation we would never tolerate as adults, however many of our children live through this very scenario every single day they attend school.

The administrators of our schools tell us, "We'll do what we can but we can't watch them every hour of the day." So you walk away feeling heartbroken, believing that there is nothing you can do to protect your child. This is a story that's told entirely too often time and time again within our public school systems nationwide."

[invabeach4now]

Parents are told there is nothing that can be done about bullying but it isn't true! Children by law are to receive a "Free and Appropriate Education" and bullying interferes with this! It is time to hold Principals and administrators responsible for what is going on in their schools.

My child with disabilities was being taunted, teased and bullied. I informed the teachers, guidance counselor, assistant principal and the head principal and they wanted to do "conflict resolution". Bullying is not to be mediated because there is only 1 child creating the conflict, THE BULLY! Document every communication with school officials by emailing and follow up verbal communication with an email referencing the verbal communication. When the school doesn't act on your concerns take it to the next level and keep doing so until your child is no longer bullied. The squeaky wheel will get greased!

[Teleart]

I am planning to move the VB area this summer and this thread confirms my fears for our daughter. We live in Nashville TN and put up with the same issues here. If your child is smart, reads, gets high scores and participates, she will suffer. That sends a confusing message to any student. Because of her ambition she has been accused of " acting white".......she's ASIAN!!! The class sees ambition and success as a negative that must be squashed! Where are the parents? What values do they hold? Do they care? I will be in VB this April and plan to visit their middle schools. If I see what I find here in Nashville I will be left with no other choice than private school.

[SIZE=4]Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
-- Mark Twain[/SIZE]

[jpence]

Unfortunately Virginia beach will tell you it handle and they will do little and This is from experience my child was being bully we met with adminstrator and counselor and it still continue it got to the point that the school adminstrator start making my child the problem. So we had to find alternative to public education and we have found some great private schools and My child is doing great now . But the Unfortunated situation is that the bully will use the anti bulling system to their advantage they have learn how to work it and the school adminstrator will tell it policy and procedure. I pray your situation will not get to point ours did. but truth of it is that unless all the parents are involve it will not get resolve and VBCS will never allow parent to parent conference it against policy but it is proven that unless the bully parent are brought in and they know what going on it will not stop it will only get worst. I have a friend who just had to remove her son from a VBCS middle her son was being bullied he got sick and then depressed and she did as i did call the adminstator and counselor they told her it was handle the same way they did my family until it boil over and then adminstator told her if her son wouldnt talk it wouldnt be a problem he just need to not say anything these kids use the system to bully her son and finally get him suspend from school for something that never happen the teacher was in classroom whenit was suppose to of happen and didnt hear or see anything except the bully throwing a comb at the her son and another throwing a chair they were not suspend but he was because they said he said something and they got their friend to agree so he was suspend so he been removed to another alternative private school and is doing wonderful now as well see vbcs did offer to transfer her son to another school but he was having such a bad time and the school they want to transfer him to was the one i had to remove my child from it was not a good idea so they have turn to private school as well
good luck i would talk to my child everyday about it and be in the school everyday if i had to do it over but we are loving our new situation at the private school and they offer scholarships to student so it help the expense but they will not stop unless you are able to be there everyday and dont let them make your child the problem and make sure you talk to them have the child write everything down as well it can help but from everyone i talk it only help when it get to school board and then it to little to late i
good luck

[TN Lily]

I am not familiar with the Va. Beach school system. But I have had children in both the public and private school systems. Public schools do a poor job with the bullying issue. I am in Louisa County and have not been impressed with their efforts despite their policy of not tolerating this type of abuse.

In defense of the public school system, part of the problem is that there are too many adults out their with offspring who fail to parent. There are students who should be thrown out for good, but the politics won't allow that solution.

The private schools two of my children attended took bullying seriously. Bullying was NOT tolerated. Consequently, there was no bullying and the environment was totally different. But the mix of kids and parents is different too. They don't have to take anyone who lives in their "school district."

Private school may be an option for the OP. Many private schools offer financial aid.

In the private school system, parents are treated like valued paying customers - even when you are receiving substantial financial aid. One of my sons attended a wonderful prep school thanks to financial aid and his good grades.

Too often in the public school system, parents are ignored. It is as though the only people who matter are the administrators. And it seems like in the public school system, there are some (not all) administrators who wind up in those positions because they were poor teachers. Instead of firing them, they get promoted so they can take their incompetency to a whole new level.

Good luck to the OP