Do you really regret things the rest of your life from your 20's? (Hilo: house, private school)

[OpenD]

Originally Posted by whtviper1

Certaiinly you all learned ones can come up with some modern era quotes......

Sure. You might like this one...

Business and growing jobs is about taking risk, sometimes failing, sometimes succeeding, but always striving. It is about dreams. Usually, it doesn't work out exactly as you might have imagined. Steve Jobs was fired at Apple. He came back and changed the world.
~ Mitt Romney

Or here's a favorite of mine...

Your regrets aren't what you did, but what you didn't do. So I take every opportunity.
~ Cameron Diaz

[whtviper1]

Ok, now that was funny.

[OpenD]

Originally Posted by whtviper1

Ok, now that was funny.

Thanks. I try my best...

[HiloDiver]

It's been pretty amusing watching you two banter...I'll just add that some people may think that others envy their lifestyle, but they couldn't be more wrong. One person's paradise is another's hell. People reach their personal success taking a variety of paths. No matter how much you argue, you are both right...and you are both wrong.

[Tiger Beer]

Originally Posted by HiloDiver

It's been pretty amusing watching you two banter...I'll just add that some people may think that others envy their lifestyle, but they couldn't be more wrong. One person's paradise is another's hell. People reach their personal success taking a variety of paths. No matter how much you argue, you are both right...and you are both wrong.

I agree with this.

I can definitely see the 100% responsible path of being in the 20s, being super conservative, and reaping the rewards later in life.

I can also definitely see the young adventerous path, of the person who dabbles with dreams and hopes and aspirations, and experiences the highs and lows of that as well.

There is no set formula of how one should absolutely choose to live their life.

On a Hawaii context, I do have to support some of wiper's ideas on discouraging the types who shouldn't be moving - the ones who should be caring for kids and getting their own 'career' path underway. Usually those types are in their 30s and 40s though.

That being said, there are plenty of 20-somethings who did attend college, don't have kids, haven't yet married, don't have any mortgages or assets or other 'toys', and really are in a prime position to 'give San Francisco a shot', or join an NGO, or try to attend culinary school, or whatever it is that was also in their heart. They are in a position to either fall right into something they love, or in a position to quickly recover from it with very minimal loss except for the year or two that had experiencing that love.

[HomeIsWhere...]

Originally Posted by Tiger Beer

I agree with this.

I can definitely see the 100% responsible path of being in the 20s, being super conservative, and reaping the rewards later in life.

I can also definitely see the young adventerous path, of the person who dabbles with dreams and hopes and aspirations, and experiences the highs and lows of that as well.

There is no set formula of how one should absolutely choose to live their life.

On a Hawaii context, I do have to support some of wiper's ideas on discouraging the types who shouldn't be moving - the ones who should be caring for kids and getting their own 'career' path underway. Usually those types are in their 30s and 40s though.

That being said, there are plenty of 20-somethings who did attend college, don't have kids, haven't yet married, don't have any mortgages or assets or other 'toys', and really are in a prime position to 'give San Francisco a shot', or join an NGO, or try to attend culinary school, or whatever it is that was also in their heart. They are in a position to either fall right into something they love, or in a position to quickly recover from it with very minimal loss except for the year or two that had experiencing that love.

sums up the long and the short of 6 pages concerning ones regrets and what ifs of our lives. Being at the 50 plus mark it is easier to look back and have some bittersweet thoughts about what could have been, but unless our choices have completely ruined our lives there is no point in it, as far as my experience has been.

For me personally (and certainly by now) I have long ago made peace with my life choices and for better or for worse, it is what it is...no regrets.

Best regards, sincerely

HomeIsWhere...

[creepy]

i also only regret the things i did not do. i had to make peace with it tho at some point because the sadness would have drug me down. i now regret it but don't go back to the thought and say "oh why over and over" and lay it onto myself. i just say "didn't happen" and move on. regrets can become, if you let them, a source of bitterness and a way to allow yourself a selfish binge of not moving forward and I don't want to be that kind of person. my mom always said "from this day forward". so much my mom said was corny but turned out to be true.

[ChickenChaser]

Originally Posted by whtviper1

Once again you missed the point OpenD. The point is personal responsibility and that anything can be accomplished in your 30's and 40's as your 20's. Other philosophers say silly dream chasing with hardly any cash is foolhardy, irresponsible, lazy, and making excuses by running away from something.

I would have to disagree with such an absolute statement. 20s would be the time, for example, to chase Olympic dreams and not in your 30s or 40s yet I wouldn't call Olympians foolhardy, lazy or irresponsible either.

For the more ordinary types, 20s would be the time, for example, to pursue a passion for Judo in a Japanese university(would be really hard to try that in your 40s) or polish your language skills travelling around Europe(harder to pick up languages in your 40s and would be even more difficult to just up and move if you have family and mortgage already rooted in another country) or learn to sail across oceans(not ideal to risk yourself in your 40s when you already have responsibilities).

They're definitely not wasted or non-productive periods either depending on your goals and career afterwards - ex. career working for Japanese firms can be enhanced by the Japanese university experience including the Judo background, language skills are always useful but more so for travel related industries, and sailing experience are pretty good credentials for sailing/charter schools or even count directly towards time at sea for a maritime career. Successful Olympians can earn millions in endorsements. Even non-medalling athletes can open schools for their sports or get good jobs as coaches.

I would venture to say that for those kinds of people, they are probably happier(and even wealthier) going that route compared to if they chose the work-now-enjoy-later plan.

[HiloDiver]

Brilliant post, ChickenChaser. Rang very true for my life.

[CyberCity]

Regrets ~ they revolve around things that have had an effect on my life overall. It is not just incidental, it is things that had an effect that 20 or 30 years down the road, upon reflection, and having done things in a different way would have truly made a difference:

Not getting additional education earlier instead of later (especially as having a BS or BA has become more of a standard requirement for many positions, where it used to be just having a HS diploma or AA).

Not having shown better judgement in focusing more on what was good FOR ME, instead of spending so much effort on trying to "fix others'" problems.

Not having shown better judgement on some of my actions that might have been fun at the time, but even then I knew they were not in my own best interest in the long run. Looking back and feeling "used" (financially, emotionally, investment in false friendship, etc) in a relationship causes me to think of the time that was wasted in my life.

On a more frivolous note, I regret not keeping up with musical instrument proficiency. (no pun intended). I struggle with an uke now.

Originally Posted by whtviper1

What about you? Do you "what if" your decisions from your 20's as you've gotten older?

The OP asked if I "what if" my decisions. NO, not unless I cannot sleep at night and my mind wanders. Or, if at a party, my uke is unused.