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I have a coworker who's cubicle is behind mine. She constantly complains. constantly. About everything. She sits all day and never goes for walks or exercises. She orders fast food daily. She smokes. She chugs down soda pop. And she has a TON of health problems. She misses on average at least a day of work per week, and makes sure everyone around her hears how she is suffering with some pain or other and has yet another doctor visit or test she has to go to. Every tiny noise in the office elicits a complaint from her. She is very loud when she talks as if she wants everyone to hear her, but if anyone else makes the slightest noise she gets mad. It's hard to sit by someone like that who is constantly negative, constantly complains about work. I sometimes wonder if she is literally making herself sick. I would have more compassion for her if she at least made some kind of effort to take better care of herself. I hate to judge because I am far from perfect and I complain sometimes. It's hard sometimes to see how you are yourself until someone points it out, and even then you have to be open and willing to hear them. I'd be terrified to tell her maybe if she gave up the cigarettes and pop and took a walk here and there it might help, because likely I'd be attacked lol. So I just keep my mouth shut.
I have a coworker who's cubicle is behind mine. She constantly complains. constantly. About everything. She sits all day and never goes for walks or exercises. She orders fast food daily. She smokes. She chugs down soda pop. And she has a TON of health problems. She misses on average at least a day of work per week, and makes sure everyone around her hears how she is suffering with some pain or other and has yet another doctor visit or test she has to go to. Every tiny noise in the office elicits a complaint from her. She is very loud when she talks as if she wants everyone to hear her, but if anyone else makes the slightest noise she gets mad. It's hard to sit by someone like that who is constantly negative, constantly complains about work. I sometimes wonder if she is literally making herself sick. I would have more compassion for her if she at least made some kind of effort to take better care of herself. I hate to judge because I am far from perfect and I complain sometimes. It's hard sometimes to see how you are yourself until someone points it out, and even then you have to be open and willing to hear them. I'd be terrified to tell her maybe if she gave up the cigarettes and pop and took a walk here and there it might help, because likely I'd be attacked lol. So I just keep my mouth shut.
When she complains just laugh at her. They hate that.
I know someone who has struggled (fighting a long, losing battle with metastatic cancer) with health issues for 20 years. I mean, these are real, serious health issues and she has run the gamut of procedures.
But I was gobsmacked when she told me yesterday, "At first it was fun. I enjoyed the attention."
I mean, she was honest at least. But dang. When she was initially diagnosed with breast cancer, it was fun?????? She enjoyed the attention???? That was food for thought, believe me.
I know someone who has struggled (fighting a long, losing battle with metastatic cancer) with health issues for 20 years. I mean, these are real, serious health issues and she has run the gamut of procedures.
But I was gobsmacked when she told me yesterday, "At first it was fun. I enjoyed the attention."
I mean, she was honest at least. But dang. When she was initially diagnosed with breast cancer, it was fun?????? She enjoyed the attention???? That was food for thought, believe me.
Though I've suspected that might be the case with some people who constantly seek medical attention when it seems they really don't need it, I've never heard anyone actually admit they liked the attention. And I'd imagine they'd deny it most of the time if asked about it.
As for those diagnosed with a serious illness, who might initially enjoy the attention, the solicitous and often paternalistic/maternalistic attitudes of the health care personnel delivering their care, as well as the attention of their friends, family and community (at first, anyway)that becomes very old as the person struggles with the very real vicissitudes of their illness and treatments.
I have a coworker who's cubicle is behind mine. She constantly complains. constantly. About everything. She sits all day and never goes for walks or exercises. She orders fast food daily. She smokes. She chugs down soda pop. And she has a TON of health problems. She misses on average at least a day of work per week, and makes sure everyone around her hears how she is suffering with some pain or other and has yet another doctor visit or test she has to go to. Every tiny noise in the office elicits a complaint from her. She is very loud when she talks as if she wants everyone to hear her, but if anyone else makes the slightest noise she gets mad. It's hard to sit by someone like that who is constantly negative, constantly complains about work. I sometimes wonder if she is literally making herself sick. I would have more compassion for her if she at least made some kind of effort to take better care of herself. I hate to judge because I am far from perfect and I complain sometimes. It's hard sometimes to see how you are yourself until someone points it out, and even then you have to be open and willing to hear them. I'd be terrified to tell her maybe if she gave up the cigarettes and pop and took a walk here and there it might help, because likely I'd be attacked lol. So I just keep my mouth shut.
If she calls in sick as often as once a week I'm surprised she still has a job. Particularly if she's as unpleasant to others as you describe.
I have a coworker who's cubicle is behind mine. She constantly complains. constantly. About everything. She sits all day and never goes for walks or exercises. She orders fast food daily. She smokes. She chugs down soda pop. And she has a TON of health problems. She misses on average at least a day of work per week, and makes sure everyone around her hears how she is suffering with some pain or other and has yet another doctor visit or test she has to go to. Every tiny noise in the office elicits a complaint from her. She is very loud when she talks as if she wants everyone to hear her, but if anyone else makes the slightest noise she gets mad. It's hard to sit by someone like that who is constantly negative, constantly complains about work. I sometimes wonder if she is literally making herself sick. I would have more compassion for her if she at least made some kind of effort to take better care of herself. I hate to judge because I am far from perfect and I complain sometimes. It's hard sometimes to see how you are yourself until someone points it out, and even then you have to be open and willing to hear them. I'd be terrified to tell her maybe if she gave up the cigarettes and pop and took a walk here and there it might help, because likely I'd be attacked lol. So I just keep my mouth shut.
She of course is her own worst enemy, why don't you just advise her to take more pharma drugs as they are really the answer to everything???!!!!
She's killing herself slowly and you can't stop her. A friend was telling me yesterday about her friend who is a big diet soda person, well he's pretty much into dementia now.
Though I've suspected that might be the case with some people who constantly seek medical attention when it seems they really don't need it, I've never heard anyone actually admit they liked the attention. And I'd imagine they'd deny it most of the time if asked about it.
As for those diagnosed with a serious illness, who might initially enjoy the attention, the solicitous and often paternalistic/maternalistic attitudes of the health care personnel delivering their care, as well as the attention of their friends, family and community (at first, anyway)that becomes very old as the person struggles with the very real vicissitudes of their illness and treatments.
My jaw nearly hit the floor when she said it - and she said it casually, just in the course of some sort of conversation about her upcoming appointment next week.
Yes, the joy has definitely worn off for her. I admire much about her attitude and toughness and her ongoing will to fight and live.
However, I do think that having fought this for so long (12 or more years - maybe even 14 years?) that it is part of her identity now. She is disabled, naturally. She has had every sort of medical procedure you can imagine. She's on so many different meds that it takes her an hour or more to get them sorted out each week. She basically has very few other interests. And I'm not blaming her because it IS consuming, but it's also really sad.
She's not making this up - she really does have metastatic breast cancer that has spread all over her body. I am not blaming her in any way for this, but it did absolutely shock me to hear her say so bluntly, "It was fun when I was first diagnosed - I enjoyed the attention. But now it's not so fun."
A neighbor gal will respond to "Good Morning!" by saying, "What's so good about it?" and will commence to complain about every part of her body that's falling apart.
I stopped saying "Good Morning!" (obviously); just "Hi" is sufficient where she is concerned.
My jaw nearly hit the floor when she said it - and she said it casually, just in the course of some sort of conversation about her upcoming appointment next week.
Yes, the joy has definitely worn off for her. I admire much about her attitude and toughness and her ongoing will to fight and live.
However, I do think that having fought this for so long (12 or more years - maybe even 14 years?) that it is part of her identity now. She is disabled, naturally. She has had every sort of medical procedure you can imagine. She's on so many different meds that it takes her an hour or more to get them sorted out each week. She basically has very few other interests. And I'm not blaming her because it IS consuming, but it's also really sad.
She's not making this up - she really does have metastatic breast cancer that has spread all over her body. I am not blaming her in any way for this, but it did absolutely shock me to hear her say so bluntly, "It was fun when I was first diagnosed - I enjoyed the attention. But now it's not so fun."
Maybe she's just being facetious? As in, sometimes you just have to laugh or you'll cry....
My DH has a sister that WANTS to be sick. When I was dx'd with SLE she wanted to know how my Dr. dx'd me & what my symptoms were. Surprise! She suddenly had all the symptoms and said she knew she had lupus but every Dr. she had seen refused to say she had lupus and they were forcing her to seek out new Dr.s for the paperwork so she could apply for disability.
When I ended up in a wheelchair she wanted to know how I "got" my Dr. to prescribe it for me and until she could get him to do it she would just pay for it herself. She didn't want a standard wheelchair, she wanted one like mine (still a manual chair, but lightweight and customized) and was pissed when I told her it was around $1900.
During a visit I discovered 2 of my fentanyl patches were missing from the box. When confronted she admitted she had taken them because she was in so much pain. DH made her give them back (he tore the one she was wearing off of her) and called the MPs to make a report so that I could have it replaced (otherwise I would have been short one). That was the last time she was allowed in our home and when we visit other family members my meds are in a lockbox.
Last year she finally stopped saying she had lupus and moved on to POTS after her cousin was dx'd. It was actually funny/pathetic when the cousin asked about her passing out and before she could finish the question SiL hit the floor.
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