U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 06-03-2016, 09:12 PM
 
3,094 posts, read 1,200,074 times
Reputation: 4462

Advertisements

This is to put in another plug for modest guys to find a way to get the kinds of routine exams that will detect things early. It is not hard to find a male doctor. It can be very difficult to find one with a male nurse however, and male techs can be hard to come by too. That said, though intimate exposure is usually going to make one self conscious, modern day nurses and techs are exceptionally professional with draping and otherwise minimizing exposure. There is a big difference between being self conscious and being embarrassed.

I am commenting here because though I am pretty healthy and fit for 63 and am not on any medications at all, those few things that do seem to be going wrong all involve intimate exposure. Bladder cancer monitoring involves routine follow-up cystoscopies which is about as intimate as medical procedures get for guys. A blood test in conjunction with a cystoscopy last week indicated an elevated PSA. That means more prostate exams are in my future, though in my case both my primary care physician and my urologist are men and nurses are never present for it. Last month's colonoscopy found 5 polyps, one of which was pre-cancerous. The follow-up is another colonoscopy in a few months. I'll gladly suffer brief periods of being self-conscious during the ensuing intimate exposures when what I am getting in return is early detection of what could turn into fatal conditions if not caught early.

Guys, rather than just not going to the doctor, speak up and ask for same-sex nursing or tech staff if that is a requirement. If nobody ever asks, the doctors and hospitals will never know it is an issue. They may not be able to fully accommodate you right then and there, but speaking up will eventually help. Similarly if your intimate exposure is not minimized, speak up so that those who did it are made aware. This can be very simple things that maybe a nurse or tech needs to be reminded of. Pull the curtain, close the door, ask if it is OK to lift a gown rather than just lifting it, putting a sheet or blanket over the gown if what is to be examined is above the genital area, and then lift the gown from underneath that sheet, no extraneous people in the room when you are to be exposed, everyone present is introduced as to who and what they are and why they are there. These are but a few examples of what a professional nurse/tech does these days, and in my somewhat significant experience, it is the norm. Years ago it was not but things have changed for the better, even if men still generally don't have a choice as to gender.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-04-2016, 07:27 AM
 
Location: Florida
12,152 posts, read 5,745,214 times
Reputation: 25111
It's not even a matter of modesty, it's a matter of dignity. Doctors and nurses seem to forget that. I always went to female gynecologists whenever possible and if I have to be naked I want a female nurse. Have you seen how some patients are treated in nursing homes? They have no dignity left.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-04-2016, 08:29 PM
 
3,094 posts, read 1,200,074 times
Reputation: 4462
Quote:
Originally Posted by chiluvr1228 View Post
It's not even a matter of modesty, it's a matter of dignity. Doctors and nurses seem to forget that. I always went to female gynecologists whenever possible and if I have to be naked I want a female nurse. Have you seen how some patients are treated in nursing homes? They have no dignity left.
Both my in-laws were nursing home patients for quite a while and I never observed anything inappropriate but I suppose that would never occur with family present of course. I am interested in hearing more, perhaps from those who work in nursing homes or who have been rehab patients there. One of my unscientific observations is that the nursing home staffing mix has a high proportion of very young CNA staff. If so, that could be the problem given the combination of the very minimal training needed to become a CNA and their youthful immaturity.

I have had lots of intimate care by female nurses (mostly middle aged and older NP's) and been OK with it given they always are professional in ever respect. That said, having spent lots of time visiting the in-laws when they were in the nursing homes (both as rehab and nursing patients), one of the mental notes I made myself is that if I ever need to go to one myself it will be one where I can arrange for any intimate care to be done by male staff (1st choice) or if that is impossible, that it be done by RN level staff. For sure I will not agree to any intimate care by a teenage or twenty something female CNA.

Last edited by Biker53; 06-04-2016 at 08:38 PM.. Reason: Additional thought
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-04-2016, 08:35 PM
 
3,094 posts, read 1,200,074 times
Reputation: 4462
Before anyone gets upset by my not being receptive to young female CNA's being involved in my intimate care, please ask yourself if you'd be OK with the opposite, a female patient being bathed or otherwise having intimate care by a teenage male CNA.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-05-2016, 03:58 AM
 
485 posts, read 427,365 times
Reputation: 2105
I'd be more concerned about rough or careless treatment in the Home than about the sex of the provider.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-26-2017, 07:44 PM
 
3,094 posts, read 1,200,074 times
Reputation: 4462
I have a basic dignity and respect question for those here in the medical professions. A good friend recently went into rehab for GBS after his hospital stay. The amount of disability each GBS victim incurs varies so upon entry into rehab an assessment is needed so as to plot out the proper rehab plan. He's in his 60's. They sent in a woman in her 20's who made him completely undress, dress, use the bathroom, and shower while she observed him. In response to his hesitation he gets told "we have no modesty here". This was not momentary exposure but a prolonged state of being totally nude while a young woman watched him.

This is a very large modern rehab facility. Medicine is not gender neutral, far from it. If it were you'd see young men doing the exact same assessment on female patients, but that doesn't happen. If medicine were gender neutral you'd see men doing mammograms, but that doesn't happen either, so "gender neutral" cannot be the reason a young woman gets sent in to do his assessment instead of sending in a male, or better yet asking him if he has a preference. Maybe he'd prefer a woman, maybe a man, maybe he wouldn't care, but why automatically send in a woman?

Perhaps more importantly, why do so many women in the medical world choose to bully male patients into compliance rather than take a more humane approach and speak to the concern. Instead of the bullying phrase "we have no modesty here" coming with the command that he strip naked for her while she watches, why not acknowledge the concern with "I understand this can be embarrassing but please know....." so as to possibly put him at ease? A little empathy could make a huge difference. Speak to him as a person rather than the body in Room 330.

The basic question I have here is why do female medical staff choose to bully men into compliance rather than speak to the concern. We have no modesty here. You don't have anything I haven't seen before. We're all professionals here. Are you afraid of women. Bullying phrases instead of "I understand this can be embarrassing but ....." Why humiliate or embarrass a patient needlessly when a little empathy could make the experience a bit more humane. Few men will ever complain or speak up, but they are being needlessly embarrassed nonetheless. This is why some men avoid healthcare. That you are comfortable with his exposure is irrelevant. He's the only naked one in the room and he's embarrassed.

And please note we are not talking an ER or OR scenario nor a nursing home scenario where the patient has dementia. We're talking a non-emergency scheduled event. They'll most likely do a good job healing the body but was it really necessary to kill a bit of his soul by ignoring his basic humanity?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-26-2017, 08:29 PM
Status: "Keep It SIMPLE!!" (set 3 days ago)
 
Location: Southern California
26,239 posts, read 9,856,019 times
Reputation: 16966
Oh I just spent 4.5 months in 3 rehab facilities, and everything from male/female nurses, male/female CNA's and both male/female were attended by all. Men were taken to shower rooms by females. Females taken to shower by males. Bedpans were used on all genders by both genders, diapers changed by all. ...these rehabs are no place for modesty. One gets over it, as they need help from those working in these rehabs.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-26-2017, 10:02 PM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
19,865 posts, read 57,913,059 times
Reputation: 19182
Biker53, not all personnel are like that one that worked with your friend. He could also have refused her services.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-27-2017, 05:31 AM
 
3,094 posts, read 1,200,074 times
Reputation: 4462
SouthernBelle, of course you are right but regretfully most men don't understand that they can speak up and it seems most female medical staff take that silence as acceptance. I've heard many a nurse say she has never had a modest male patient. Of course she has but they were just too embarrassed to say anything because that would only make it worse if the response is one of the standard passive-aggressive bullying phrases. Or she chooses not to pick up on the non-verbal signs that he is embarrassed. Women are far better at expressing their needs.

When a female patient objects to a male nurse or tech or appears uncomfortable, the men usually back off and offer to have a female do the procedure. Male staff that use the bullying approach know they are at risk of losing their jobs.

jaminhealth, why do patients need to get over their modesty when they often could be easily accommodated? Couldn't that young woman have at least responded with "let me see if there is a male staff member available" and then took a moment to find out? Or at a minimum at least have acknowledged his embarrassment in an empathetic way?

This may sound odd to some here but us guys that are say 60+ came of age in an era when no consideration at all was given to male modesty. As a younger adult I silently suffered through some needlessly embarrassing situations because I just assumed that is the way it is for men. I had never experienced medical care any other way. Fast forward to the present and based on my rather significant experience I can say that staff is now far better trained and are generally respectful and professional in their conduct. I personally know to speak up but men such as my friend that encounter a needlessly embarrassing situation just take it because they still assume that is just the way it is.

An example of how us older men were taught as children to have no expectations of privacy back in the 50's & 60's is a school physical I had in Middle School. Whereas the girls had physicals totally in private somewhere that didn't involve nudity, us boys were made to stand in a long line in the main corridor of the school in just our tightie whities waiting our turn to enter the nurses office. The line continued into the office and one by one when it was our turn in front of the female nurse and her female assistant we were told to drop our underwear. The layout was such that where we dropped our drawers was right in a doorway to the main office where we'd be in full view of the women working in the office, and any visitors, staff or female students going into the office. No effort was made to afford any privacy at all. While standing in the hallway, teachers and the girls were free to walk past us and smile or giggle as they chose. Us older guys that grew up with that kind of stuff almost invariably just quietly accept any indignity the medical world throws our way. This is why few men speak up. It is too embarrassing because we were taught we shouldn't have any expectations of privacy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-27-2017, 10:36 AM
Status: "Keep It SIMPLE!!" (set 3 days ago)
 
Location: Southern California
26,239 posts, read 9,856,019 times
Reputation: 16966
Getting over the modesty issue can only make things easier for all. Why resist and fight what is? Under all these clothes are bare bodies and who really cares. Sounds like it bothers you too much, as I see it.

Go to a nudist colony and you'll get over it. I've experienced that and beaches and really broadened me. Talk about REAL life. So many stay stuck in their old ways and thinking and only harm themselves. BTW: I'm 79 soon and thank goodness for my open mind.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top