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Old 08-04-2010, 06:47 AM
Location: Glendale Country Club
1,821 posts, read 2,690,665 times
Reputation: 2558


After reading the relationship posts for the past year and a half, there seems to be a common thread: people are confused and hurt by relationships. After a while, I had to stop reading the Relationship forums because there was so much hurt being expressed in the postings.

Anyone here ever heard of the 12 Step program Adult Children of Alcoholics or Dysfunctional Families...also known as 'ACA' or 'ACoA'?

Are there any members in our CD family? Anyone want to learn about this topic by participating in this thread? Could we start and use this thread where we post positively about life and relationships - based on the experience, strength and hope of people who are actively working on recovery from the effects of growing up in an alcoholic - or otherwise dysfunctional family? This would be similar to Cozy Inn...only it would be ACA Recovery Forum, or something like that. For those of you who aren't familiar, ACA does not bash...we look to our family patterns to know and understand ourselves. Without bashing, we learn from our family dynamics, look at patterns of behavior so that we can move forward into a better, and happier, place with ourselves and with others.

Our thread might focus on reading the literature and discussing the literature, or a recovery related topic. Members are asked to avoid intellectualizing the topic. We talk about our feelings and life experiences and how the literature, Step work, or other ACA recovery works in our lives. We share about personal change, working the Steps, connecting with our Inner Child, and Higher Power. We talk openly about our lives and our hope. Note that there is now an ACA Big Book (some call it the Red Book, due to its color), similar in purpose to what is known as the AA Big Book.

Here is a quote from the ACA Big Book, page vii: An adult child is someone who responds to adult situations with self-doubt, self-blame, or a sense of being wrong or inferior - all learned from stages of childhood. Without help, we unknowingly operate with ineffective thoughts and judgements as adults. The regression can be subtle, but it is there sabotaging our decisions and relationships. ACA's seek help for our addictions whether we are acting out with drugs, sex, food, spending, gambling, relationships, or another compulsive behavior. We learn that we can recovery from trauma and neglect.

Postings on this thread would be either to learn and grow, or to give reps, anything positive. The best way to do this would be to read the Big Book, share, "listen". This thread is an opportunity to focus on the positives by honestly looking at how we got to where we are today, and moving forward. These are all ideas and are certainly open for an ACA group conscience here on CD.

Please, Trolls, we love ya! but if you could just pass this thread by and move on to another, that would be much preferred.

Last edited by 'M'; 08-04-2010 at 07:03 AM..
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