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Old 08-12-2010, 01:33 PM
 
9,958 posts, read 16,571,689 times
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Just a pet peeve of mine, does this bug anyone else?

If you have any type of health problem, seems people are constantly asking you "what does the doctor say"? Such a frustrating question to respond to.

First, it implies there's some all-knowing doctor who has a ready diagnosis and solution, you have but to follow it.

Try explaining to people it can take weeks to even get an appt with "the doctor" who then does a bunch of tests, which no one even reads, then you're referred to another "the doctor" who mumbles something about the tests, then orders more tests, then referrs you to another "the doctor", and so on. Meanwhile you're spinning your wheels, time, money, etc, going from one "the doctor" to another.

I just find the question so irritating. The assumption is that there's an easy, canned solution I'm just ignoring. Or that its somehow so easy to get diagnosed and treated and cured, all in one setting!

I've been experiencing some health problems for the past few months, very frustrating to get diagnosed, and am sick of people asking "what does the doctor say"? Which doctor? I just saw a neurologist yesterday for an evaluation, he sent me for several tests, I was literally pounced on by family, friends, when I came back---Well, what did the doctor say? Oh, please, all he said was, more tests, takes time to do, time to read, then probably referrals to more doctors. Try explaining that to people, they still just give you a blank look and repeat "what did the doctor say"

I think if someone hasn't experienced chronic health problems they nurse the fantasy that there's a doctor out there with all the solutions, all in one neat package, and you don't have to wait more than 5 minutes for an answer.

Just venting, but if one more person attacks me with that "what did the doctor say" I'm ging to scream!
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:20 AM
 
2,222 posts, read 9,725,866 times
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I think it's a normal response. You are openly talking about your health and other problems. You asked "What's wrong with me" here on this forum and probably among your friends and family. Everyone is just as curious as you. I think most people want to know what is wrong with you.

If you don't want others to ask you questions or make statements, then perhaps you should stop talking about your problems. I think you invite others to respond.
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Old 08-13-2010, 10:50 AM
 
Location: Arizona
1,034 posts, read 3,970,584 times
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I agree with Beth.

When I was evaluated by a neurosurgeon in 08, I kept it to myself (told my husband only). I avoided those questions that I hate so much. Once the tests were in, I broke the news to friends or family that I'd be having surgery for a brain tumor. All went well, but I still get the questions about when my follow-ups are, etc.

I think that people are just trying to show concern. I'm 35 and have had perforated eardrums almost my entire life. I've never submerged myself in a pool, ocean, lake, etc. I can swim, but try to avoid it. Still, when visiting my 91 year old grandma who happens to live near the beach, as I'm heading out the door to hit the sand she always reminds me to be careful about getting water in my ears. God bless her.

If you don't want the inquiries, just keep things to yourself.
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Old 08-13-2010, 12:32 PM
 
9,958 posts, read 16,571,689 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redjan1225 View Post
I agree with Beth.

When I was evaluated by a neurosurgeon in 08, I kept it to myself (told my husband only). I avoided those questions that I hate so much. Once the tests were in, I broke the news to friends or family that I'd be having surgery for a brain tumor. All went well, but I still get the questions about when my follow-ups are, etc.

I think that people are just trying to show concern. I'm 35 and have had perforated eardrums almost my entire life. I've never submerged myself in a pool, ocean, lake, etc. I can swim, but try to avoid it. Still, when visiting my 91 year old grandma who happens to live near the beach, as I'm heading out the door to hit the sand she always reminds me to be careful about getting water in my ears. God bless her.

If you don't want the inquiries, just keep things to yourself.
I do keep things to myself, its just that once the "cat is out of the bag" people won't stop with the questions. For example, I had to go out of town last week for some tests, of course, had to explain my absence, then got bombarded with the "What does the doctor say" question.

Perhaps I didn't explain my "gripe" sufficiently here, its not so much being asked, its the question "what does the doctor say" that annoys me. Its hard to explain, but seems I always get that exact same question from anyone and everyone. Its like they expect a complete diagnosis and treatment plan to flow from my lips. Medical problems are complex, usually going to "the doctor" doesn't result in an immediate diagnosis, but rather more and more tests, more and more referrals, etc. but that question "what does the doctor say" just gripes me, like I'm supposed to hand people an immediate solution to problems that aren't their's to begin with.

Its the assumption that its all so easy, one but has to go to "the doctor" and he hands them an immediate, workable solution. Its the wording of the question that gets me, not so much the inquiry.

Not to make a big deal out of it, that was just my little gripe venting here, funny, how a little thing can turn into a major irritant, but sometimes its just the thing that rubs you the wrong way.
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Old 08-13-2010, 12:47 PM
 
9,958 posts, read 16,571,689 times
Reputation: 16897
Quote:
Originally Posted by redjan1225 View Post
I agree with Beth.

When I was evaluated by a neurosurgeon in 08, I kept it to myself (told my husband only). I avoided those questions that I hate so much. Once the tests were in, I broke the news to friends or family that I'd be having surgery for a brain tumor. All went well, but I still get the questions about when my follow-ups are, etc.

I think that people are just trying to show concern. I'm 35 and have had perforated eardrums almost my entire life. I've never submerged myself in a pool, ocean, lake, etc. I can swim, but try to avoid it. Still, when visiting my 91 year old grandma who happens to live near the beach, as I'm heading out the door to hit the sand she always reminds me to be careful about getting water in my ears. God bless her.

If you don't want the inquiries, just keep things to yourself.
BTW, I'm sorry to hear about your eardrums. My dd had the same thing, were yours a result of ear tubes? DD had tubes inserted at age 1 yr, they usually either fall out on their own or can be simply removed. Either way, the holes close up on their own. Not so with dd. One of her tubes fell out on its own, the other the doc removed, they left holes that didn't heal. We took her to a specialist in Houston who did grafts, which involved taking a piece of fat from behind the ear and sweing it into the hole. Both surgeries were complete success, now, her favorite sport is swimming! She's also quite active in music, choir, etc. I had doctors in other cities tell me just to let it go, she could live with holes in her ears. I think not!

No way would I let my poor baby go with holes in her ears if it could be helped, and I'm amazed at the differences in opinions we received. To this day, I still get questions as to why we went to Houston, why didn't we go to doctor so-and-so right down the road? Because Houston is one of the world's leading medical centers, and nothing is too much when it comes to my children's health.

I hope perhaps even now you can find some solution for your ears, too, if its a major problem, good luck!
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Old 08-13-2010, 01:50 PM
 
Location: Cushing OK
14,545 posts, read 18,236,402 times
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I think the way it works is based on the "doctor is god" syndrom. Somewhere there is a magic pill or treatment which will fix it and only the doctor knows the answer. And how dare the patient participate in decisions or do their own research. After having a lingering " condition " which had been around for two years with no success in finding why, I was allowed due to incompetence to run out of my meds. Surprise, it dissapeared. I am now a pain for doctors since I research any med down to the last line in the fda report before I'll fill it. If I do. But having had several conditions which were created by doctors, I do not subscribe to the idea that they can make all the choices alone.

As for keeping things to yourself, sometimes it doesn't help. Last November when I got sick from some still mystery condition, everyone knew I was sick. I didn't say what they had done but still got asked what the doctor said. Mostly it was dunno yet but I didn't tell them that either. It's natural curiosity, but its also merged with the idea that the doctor is all knowing and wise. Which is so far from the truth...
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Old 08-13-2010, 05:21 PM
 
9,958 posts, read 16,571,689 times
Reputation: 16897
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightbird47 View Post
I think the way it works is based on the "doctor is god" syndrom. Somewhere there is a magic pill or treatment which will fix it and only the doctor knows the answer. And how dare the patient participate in decisions or do their own research. After having a lingering " condition " which had been around for two years with no success in finding why, I was allowed due to incompetence to run out of my meds. Surprise, it dissapeared. I am now a pain for doctors since I research any med down to the last line in the fda report before I'll fill it. If I do. But having had several conditions which were created by doctors, I do not subscribe to the idea that they can make all the choices alone.

As for keeping things to yourself, sometimes it doesn't help. Last November when I got sick from some still mystery condition, everyone knew I was sick. I didn't say what they had done but still got asked what the doctor said. Mostly it was dunno yet but I didn't tell them that either. It's natural curiosity, but its also merged with the idea that the doctor is all knowing and wise. Which is so far from the truth...

Its not so much other people's concern, its just the phrasing that gripes e "what did the doctor say?" LIke the AP said, we live in a society where all doctors are some sort of gods, just go to one, any one, they have all the answers.

Also, I see specialists in Houston, which is a world leading medical center. I still get challenged for that, why do you go to Houston when there's a doctor right down the road? Impossible to explain........just like I took dd to a world renouned specialist in Houston for her ears, I got challenged for that by the school....why are you taking her to Houston when there's ENT's right here in town? Perhaps, because, the guy in Houston is better?

Oh, well, its just a petty little gripe of mine I found necessary to vent about, that "what does the doctor say" just irks me. Which doctor? I've been crawled over by a bevy of specialists, I truly think we're getting somewhere, but it doesn't work out just like that, there's a doctor out there called "the doctor" who "says" something and poof! its all better.

Ok, just a gripe, no big deal, sometimes little things can grate on your nerves more than they should, that one gets me everytime. I mean, if I was asked how are things going, or did they make any progress, or whatever..........just that "what does the doctor say" bugs me. Remember that old show, Dr. marcus Welby, MD? he could solve anything in a TV episode, guess I should schedule an appt with him, see what he "says".
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