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Old 08-24-2010, 08:32 AM
 
3 posts, read 3,216 times
Reputation: 13

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I've always been a light sleeper,so that IS my demon to wrestle with,but I don't ever get the help that I desire. My youngest son is now 1 1/2...still doesn't sleep through the night...ugh.
I'm an "older" mom and being pregnant for 9 months and then spending the next year and a half with a sleepless baby has left it's toll.
Hubby constantly kept me awake during pregnancy (he's very inconsiderate IMHO)and I also suffered from anemia the whole pregnancy...which could have been avoided if the ob/gyn had done her job and had actually read the blood work reports at the start of pregnancy.
Took my toddler into his pediatrician and the Dr. told me that he figures he has ADHD and RLS. He suggested iron therapy...said it's been found to work. IMO it seems a little too scary to try. I read the label and just a little too much of the stuff could severely harm him.

Hubby is worse. He never helped me on those long nights of crying. In fact,he slept right through them. He doesn't understand how I can't sleep through that...ugh!! Does he WANT me to sleep through that?
The longest stretch I have slept in the past 3 years is about 3 hours.
We sent the little guy to grandma's house (which is 8 hours away,explaining why I never had any help with the newborn) so that I could get some well deserved rest...uh huh...hubby has me back working long days with him.

He's either walking around bumping into things, coughing, sneezing, yawning, wanting to make love,etc. He needs to see a doctor because of the coughing and sneezing...he wheezes all the time and uses an inhaler 4-5 times a night...in his sleep!
We started weening babe off of the bottle 5 nights ago. Of course he didn't like that at all,and needless to say I didn't get much sleep...even hubby woke up from the screaming. We went through that for 3 nights. The next day I spent the entire day driving to grandma's and back,so I was exhausted.
Hubby didn't let me sleep that night...
Yesterday I went to work with him and worked my butt off. I came home and all I wanted to do was sleep...he kept me up all night again. Then he says his typical junk about how it's not his fault...that I'M the one who needs help.
It's bad enough that I suffer from GERD and lose sleep because of that...now I'm peri-menopausal and it's getting worse...I have to pee every hour.
No,I don't drink anything within 5 hours or more of going to sleep.
How can I get the wee one to sleep through the night?
Most importantly though...how do I get hubby to sleep? Most of the time he doesn't even remember waking up in the middle of the night (several times a night).
Should I just concentrate on finding a way to help ME sleep through baby and hubby? Would that constitute child neglect? I think it would.
Would it be mean of me or against some law to slip a sleeping pill into hubby's dinner? How long can a person last with not enough sleep? I walk around like a zombie half of the time,I'm cranky and irritable,and starting to get really bad ideas in my head...like killing hubby because of lack of sleep.
I can't take sleeping pills because of baby and because I've had nasty experiences in the past from those things. Should I go in and have my iron levels checked again? I'm at a loss.

Just need sleep.
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Old 08-24-2010, 08:50 AM
 
Location: Canada
3,432 posts, read 3,616,359 times
Reputation: 2186
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shinxed View Post
I've always been a light sleeper,so that IS my demon to wrestle with,but I don't ever get the help that I desire. My youngest son is now 1 1/2...still doesn't sleep through the night...ugh.
I'm an "older" mom and being pregnant for 9 months and then spending the next year and a half with a sleepless baby has left it's toll.
Hubby constantly kept me awake during pregnancy (he's very inconsiderate IMHO)and I also suffered from anemia the whole pregnancy...which could have been avoided if the ob/gyn had done her job and had actually read the blood work reports at the start of pregnancy.
Took my toddler into his pediatrician and the Dr. told me that he figures he has ADHD and RLS. He suggested iron therapy...said it's been found to work. IMO it seems a little too scary to try. I read the label and just a little too much of the stuff could severely harm him.

Hubby is worse. He never helped me on those long nights of crying. In fact,he slept right through them. He doesn't understand how I can't sleep through that...ugh!! Does he WANT me to sleep through that?
The longest stretch I have slept in the past 3 years is about 3 hours.
We sent the little guy to grandma's house (which is 8 hours away,explaining why I never had any help with the newborn) so that I could get some well deserved rest...uh huh...hubby has me back working long days with him.

He's either walking around bumping into things, coughing, sneezing, yawning, wanting to make love,etc. He needs to see a doctor because of the coughing and sneezing...he wheezes all the time and uses an inhaler 4-5 times a night...in his sleep!
We started weening babe off of the bottle 5 nights ago. Of course he didn't like that at all,and needless to say I didn't get much sleep...even hubby woke up from the screaming. We went through that for 3 nights. The next day I spent the entire day driving to grandma's and back,so I was exhausted.
Hubby didn't let me sleep that night...
Yesterday I went to work with him and worked my butt off. I came home and all I wanted to do was sleep...he kept me up all night again. Then he says his typical junk about how it's not his fault...that I'M the one who needs help.
It's bad enough that I suffer from GERD and lose sleep because of that...now I'm peri-menopausal and it's getting worse...I have to pee every hour.
No,I don't drink anything within 5 hours or more of going to sleep.
How can I get the wee one to sleep through the night?
Most importantly though...how do I get hubby to sleep? Most of the time he doesn't even remember waking up in the middle of the night (several times a night).
Should I just concentrate on finding a way to help ME sleep through baby and hubby? Would that constitute child neglect? I think it would.
Would it be mean of me or against some law to slip a sleeping pill into hubby's dinner? How long can a person last with not enough sleep? I walk around like a zombie half of the time,I'm cranky and irritable,and starting to get really bad ideas in my head...like killing hubby because of lack of sleep.
I can't take sleeping pills because of baby and because I've had nasty experiences in the past from those things. Should I go in and have my iron levels checked again? I'm at a loss.

Just need sleep.
The statement I put in bold worries me. Is it possible youhave post partum depression or some kind of clinical depression going on. Please go and see your Dr. and basically tell the Dr. EVERYTHING you have said in this post. You may need some sort of anti-depressant.
I have no advice about sleeping thorugh the night. My 2 1/2 year old and almost 10 month old don't. The only one that sleeps through is my 7 year old. In my experience kids only begin to sleep better after they give up their daytime naps.
Don't put a sleeping pill in your husband's drink. If something terrible were to happen I think you'd be in alot of trouble.
I am severley anemic and am tired all the time. I think you should get your levels checked again. Oh and my husband sleeps right thorugh the baby's cries too.
keep us updated

Last edited by KylieEve; 08-24-2010 at 08:51 AM.. Reason: .
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Old 08-24-2010, 10:08 AM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
19,865 posts, read 57,948,354 times
Reputation: 19187
After that doctor visit, drag that lout to couples' counseling! Or go alone for counseling. You need a backbone - he can't "make" you work or do anything else unless he is holding a gun to your head..
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Old 08-25-2010, 05:33 AM
 
Location: In the real world!
2,178 posts, read 8,686,402 times
Reputation: 2805
My ex and I argued the whole time we were married. He was the kind that only slept 4 hours a night and the rest of the time he was up and down.. I, on the other hand required a FULL 8 hours. I kept telling him HE was the odd ball, not me... that there was something wrong with a person not sleeping anymore than he did.. FINALLY, after years of many "discussions" on that topic, Readers Digest had a article on peoples body clocks that explained how everyone is different. I made him read that and those "discussions" were over. Now that he is older, he complains to his doctor that he can't sleep anymore than 4 hours a night. He is on one of those Rx's for sleeping pills now. Ha! I asked him WHY it is a problem NOW when he has always only slept 4 hours per night and thought the rest of the world was lazy because they sleep 8 hours?

I think it is awfully selfish of your husband to keep you awake then expect you to work all day. Sounds like he has some sort of sleep disorder that he is up and down all night in his sleep. Between him and the baby, you don't have much of a chance. Sleep deprivation is a real serious matter and can effect your body in very negative ways, I am surprised you are functional at all during the day. Read about that here Behavioral Effects of Sleep Deprivation - Sleep-Deprivation.com (http://www.sleep-deprivation.com/articles/effects-of-sleep-deprivation/index.php - broken link)

Your baby is old enough that you should recognize his crys, hunger, pain, just wanting attention..I suggest you are possibly over stimulating him by jumping up and running to him in the middle of the night when he crys. If you know he is not hungry, wet, or hurt... let him cry.. That does not make you a bad Mom and it isn't neglect! I had one that HAD to cry a hour before he went to sleep EVERY single night. You could hold him for hours but the minute you laid him down, he HAD to wear himself out crying that hour or he would not go to sleep. They will whimper and maybe cry a minute but will go back to sleep on their own. Let him cry if you know he is alright! You might have several night of him crying for hours but eventually he will learn that will not get him attention and learn to sleep through the night.

Is there anyone that can take him now and then so you can catch up on your sleep? Anyplace you can go for the night to get a good nights sleep away from both of them? You HAVE to take care of yourself or you will end up getting sick and not able to take care of either of them.

I strongly suggest Hubby needs a sleep study done to find out why he is up and down all night in his sleep, THAT is not normal!!!
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Old 08-25-2010, 08:18 AM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic east coast
5,525 posts, read 10,227,497 times
Reputation: 10742
Chronic exhaustion from lack of sleep is very harmful to your mental and physical health--as you've pointed out in your posting.

There have been a number of artices in the media about couples that are sleeping in separate bedrooms because of incompatible sleep styles or snoring issues.

Maybe this is a solution for you?
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Old 08-25-2010, 12:27 PM
 
9,957 posts, read 16,568,158 times
Reputation: 16897
Benedryl for the baby..its over-the-counter
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Old 08-25-2010, 04:52 PM
 
Location: Canada
3,432 posts, read 3,616,359 times
Reputation: 2186
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post
Benedryl for the baby..its over-the-counter

Is that safe? I don't think drugging up the baby is the answer here.
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Old 08-25-2010, 05:44 PM
 
9,957 posts, read 16,568,158 times
Reputation: 16897
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisalan View Post
Is that safe? I don't think drugging up the baby is the answer here.

Yes, its safe. Pediatricians recommend it for runny noses, coughs, etc. also, they "hint" it can be used to help the kid sleep. Just follow the dosage schedule, or as your ped, many parents resort to it if desperate for sleep, there's worse things, like a parent whos' sleep deprived and ends up harming the kid due to poor jugdment, etc. a good night's sleep never hurt anyone.
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Old 08-25-2010, 07:47 PM
 
4,267 posts, read 5,452,652 times
Reputation: 3579
How often does your baby wake up during the night? I would not give the baby benadryl!

You could try something like melatonin for yourself and get a fan for white noise to block out the sounds of your noisy husband. Avoid ALL caffeine during the day. Some people are really sensitive to caffeine. One small cup of coffee in the morning will keep me up all night long.

ETA: You may want to sleep in a different room from your husband since it sounds like he is waking you up a lot. Could you sleep in the room with the baby so that when the baby wakes it will be quick and easy to get them back to sleep since you'll be right there?
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Old 08-26-2010, 09:03 AM
 
5 posts, read 5,520 times
Reputation: 10
try over-the-counter- treatment and some therapy...or if you have time why not try a couple of yoga sessions?
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