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If you DO have Aspergers, please know that you just need to find a good woman like myself -
who would be OK with your quirks, who will be enthralled with the things you can do, with the patience and concentration that you possess when you do the thing you like. We do exist! Keep looking. Though when we were younger, we didn't notice you, - we needed to mature, just like you need to mature. And then you will find a woman who will fall for your Einstein inside, your Newton, your Nash.
LOL--I owuldn't put too much stock into free online tests if I were you. Many, many reputable psychologists don't even believe that AS exists; they feel that its merely another example of a "disease" being created so as to: A--create more work and job security for therapists. B--Line the pockets of drug companies ever more, and C--Give all those potential diagnosees a lable they can affix to themselves so as to act as a sort of placebo affect.
Look, the symptoms of AS are pretty much synonymous with those of someone who is merely socially awkward or inept and also maybe thinks outside the box a little, tending to vary a bit from traditional societal norms. In the past, people like this were merely "a little off" of maybe "a tad eccentric."
Now, we have to pigeonhole 'em with a dusease or "syndrome" lable.
LOL--I owuldn't put too much stock into free online tests if I were you.
Agreed
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Many, many reputable psychologists don't even believe that AS exists; they feel that its merely another example of a "disease" being created so as to: A--create more work and job security for therapists. B--Line the pockets of drug companies ever more, and C--Give all those potential diagnosees a lable they can affix to themselves so as to act as a sort of placebo affect.
Name them, because if I felt for one second that what you said were true, I want my money back. BTW, stop perpetuating wrong information. There are NO medications to either treat or "cure" Asperger's. NONE, ZILCH, NADA.
The only medications that someone with AS may be prescribed are for comorbid conditions they may have, like Anxiety, OCD, Bipolar, Tourettes, Seizures, etc.
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Look, the symptoms of AS are pretty much synonymous with those of someone who is merely socially awkward or inept and also maybe thinks outside the box a little, tending to vary a bit from traditional societal norms. In the past, people like this were merely "a little off" of maybe "a tad eccentric."
Now, we have to pigeonhole 'em with a dusease or "syndrome" lable.
That's like saying that the symptoms of a cold or allergy and pneumonia are pretty much synonymous, but you do realize there is a distinction, don't you?
robee70, I can certainly appreciate your frustration, but I do have to ask why do we have to label everything?
The only good the labeling does is to make is easier on the Dr. and insurance company to do the billing and, in some cases, to prescribe certain medications.
Labels can be very damaging as I have quite a few myself. That is why I really liked Drummer Boy's post.
And just because one has spent a lot of money doesn't make something true. God knows I want a LOT of my money back at failed efforts to change what I would just as soon not have a label. We tend to pathologize everything these days (witness a 12 step group for everything) and I am not sure that is helpful to the individual.
Please. With ALL due respect, I have to get on my soapbox, again.
It seems to me that you are really trying to convince yourself - and us - you have Aspergers, at this point. I can see it progressing through your posts. PLEASE stop reading articles and taking tests and go DO something about it, with a trained team of professionals, if it has gotten to the point where you are so distressed, it is having a severe impact on your daily existence - beyond how you act with women.
If it was so easy to diagnose a specific spectrum disorder, why did I spend 10 years of my son's life taking him to specialists, even out of state, to find out how to help him? He could not - COULD NOT - function in a regular classroom. You are in college. You got a highschool degree. You have a job. You drive. I'm assuming you are capable of living on your own, if you're not, already. But you have poor social skills. That is the basis of your OP, is it not? Why worry about whether to tell women you have Aspergers, when you could be working on those skills? You want to use it as an excuse when talking to a woman? "I'm not very good at talking to women. It's because I have Aspergers". Seriously, what's the deal?
Your OP basically said, "I took a test and it says I have Aspergers. Do you know any males with AS who are successful with women, and when do you tell women you have it?" (paraphrasing). If you had not taken those tests, or if you had not gotten results showing you *might* have AS, you'd be the same person you were, yesterday, only un-self-diagnosed, and asking us "Do you know how I can be more socially comfortable around women?". But you want Aspergers. Why? As was stated before, "Aspergers" is the chic thing to have, and it's become an excuse for social awkwardness. Well, some people are simply socially awkward, and it's actually pretty common at your age! Good god, I was hardly the smoothest talker when I was in college. I was an absolute idiot around guys I liked, and still have my moments!
As Robee said, at this stage of your life, whether you have a diagnosis of Aspergers or not is irrelevant. You know enough to realize what to work on. You know why you're unhappy. People with Aspergers don't typically say "I do this, and I don't know why I do it." They just do it, because that is "normal" to them, and WE are the ones they don't understand. You'd do much better spending your time working on your social skills than you would reading about Aspergers and taking online tests. You're past the age where a diagnosis is mandatory in order to receive a specialized curriculum in order to get a highschool diploma or GED. You are a fully functional male. If you are dealing with an anxiety disorder or OCD, then there are meds to help with that, for some people. But NOTHING for Aspergers. There's no cure. Period. You probably could benefit from some of the same social skill developing strategies that a high functioning autistic person would use, but you do not need a diagnosis for it.
Adults would be harder to correctly diagnose, I'd imagine, because people will be going in convinced they have it, they have read all about it online, they might, consciously or not, form their responses/behaviors to fit the diagnosis, because they have it set in their minds that they must have that Aspergers label.
I'm wondering how many people will be rushing to declare themselves "Autistic" once the Aspergers diagnosis is removed from the DSM V. Not many, I'll bet. Most people hear "autism" and think "Rainman". They hear "Aspergers" and think "genius" (but socially awkward). So it's either a bragging point or an excuse. It's neither.
I don't mean to sound argumentative, it just really pisses me off when I hear yet another undiagnosed person is blaming his/her social ineptitude on the disorder du jour.
There is no such thing as "Asperger's." It is a label that someone made up to make doctors and drug companies rich - and it's working. You may have "issues," but why would you want to attach a negative label to yourself? What do you think you will get out of doing so?
Some people get disability benefits. Is that something you are seeking?
I would prefer to believe you are a unique human being with special skills and abilities . . . you could just "label" yourself an "introvert" or something more benign, if you MUST label yourself.
You will get a lot of support from attaching that label to yourself by other people who are hell-bent on labeling themselves or others.
Lots of people believe that doctors are gods and that if they SAY there is such a thing as Asperger's then it has to be so . . . does that seem a little simplistic to you?
You are more than a label.
If you want to meet women join a dating site - frame yourself in positive ways, not as a walking disease or syndrome . . . sheesh.
It's nothing but mass brainwashing that the culture has swallowed whole with no critical thought, what-so-ever.
I think this thread belongs in the Health Forums and not in Relationships.
I personally don't feel like partaking in this discussion. I don't care who believes what. I live it every day. No parent shops for a diagnosis for their young child, when with it comes endless battles, grief, anxiety and an uncertainty of what the future holds. I didn't want this, but it is what it is.
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