So I just did a test that says I got aspergers... (pregnancy, skin)
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You know, that sounds lovely but I wish you could walk in my shoes all day as I work with these kids or the shoes of these parents as they try to help their child navigate through life and get the services they need to help them function in as normal of a way as possible.
However, every one of our kids is an individual--they have their own tastes and desires and they are fully human. But it really does help for us to put a label on it so we can help them in the way that they need it, and believe it or not, there is less stigma attached to these kids than there was when there weren't labels. My favorite student with AS is a boy I'll call Jimmy--he's an uber nerd--the kids at my school when I was growing up would have made mincemeat out of him, but at the school I work at now, they pretty much leave him alone except when sometimes they try to talk to him, which is hard b/c he has some pretty severe problems.
For myself personally--I prefer the label. It's not because I go around with a big sign on my head warning people that here comes an adult with "mad kid disease" but because I can read up on my condition and understand myself a little better and why I do the zany things I do. And then I do my best to navigate through a day without anyone realizing that I have a label and I've never had to ask for special treatment on the job. When I didn't know, I felt like I had all my pieces scattered all over the place and they were so different that it still boggles my mind that they can be listed under one syndrome but so it is and I'm not ashamed of it. Should I be?
By the same token I don't take pride in it either--while ADD and AS are associated with higher IQ's, that is by no means a given, and there are plenty of smart people without a syndrome. And plenty of smart people who lack social skills who don't have a syndrome either.
These are good points. I learned early on that a "label" wasn't something to fight. It was necessary for my son's education. I had to let go of the idea that a label was inherently demeaning.
My son is aware of his condition, but has never once told anyone he has Aspergers/Autism. He has never used it as an excuse for anything. It's just who he is. It's his reality, just as the sky is blue. His mind interprets things in a way a "neurotypical" person would never understand. He is an individual, and is as different from the next kid with AS as I am.
A label is what you make of it. You can use it as an "excuse", or you can use it to help yourself (or your child, in some of the cases presented here) move forward with life. My son's "label" was used to better his education. I don't think that's a bad thing.
I was going to experts hoping to hear just one say that my son was not autistic.
Oh dear God so was I...God forgive me but so was I. I spent about three years not showering, slumping around in fat yoga pants and my husband's t-shirts and frumping from one appointment to the next waiting for that ONE MD, neurologist, psych, behaviorist or teacher to tell me I was just being silly and worrying too much. The terror (for my son) broke me down and I was depressed in every possible way. I can't believe we all (my son with "classic" autism, his then-baby brother and I) made it through all that.
It gives me the shivers to think that I was actually parenting in that state.
The depression began to lift, ironically, when I *did* get that "label" that is so disdained by people who think it's easy to have a child have something and you don't know what it is, nor how to treat it. It lifted because now we could do something. Something specific to autism. Not specific to some general social anxiety, nor to hyperactivity, nor to just "general weirdness"...ASD has a very specific set of criteria, with subsets, all of which must be met for the DX (just as AS does). I'm not sure people realize this.
We don't just have kids who "don't quite fit in" or "have problems" and were DXs with AS or ASD. It's very specific. Certain things must be present and certain others can not be present, or else you have neither of these diagnoses.
For instance, my son can not possibly be an Aspie as he was very speech delayed. He could be either Aspie or ASD with his IQ, which is below average. Specific IQ, however, does not fall into the DSM for exactly what makes one either an Aspie or ASD. (I mean not the actual number.) Other things, however, do. My son meets those things.
If he did not, he could not and would not have been DXd with ASD.
DSM-IV (did they officially release V yet?) for autism ("classic" or so-named "Kanner" autism) (ASD, or Autism Spectrum Disorder). Please note exactly what the criteria are, i.e. must meet X amount of symptoms from category A, etc. Can not be DXd by a non-medical doctor. (IOW, can't officially be DXd by a licensed but non-MD therapist but maybe DXd by a general MD, a pediatric MD, a neurologist, or a psychiatrist but not a psychologist.)
DSM-IV for Asperger Syndrome (AS). Note the differences between the criteria for this and for ASD; many overlap as they are all under the autism umbrella; some are either present or absent from AS that are the opposite (or not criteria at all) for ASD.
This is no "eh, he's troubled and antisocial, so he must be autistic" kind of thing. Get educated, people.
DSM-IV (did they officially release V yet?) for autism ("classic" or so-named "Kanner" autism) (ASD, or Autism Spectrum Disorder). Please note exactly what the criteria are, i.e. must meet X amount of symptoms from category A, etc. Can not be DXd by a non-medical doctor. (IOW, can't officially be DXd by a licensed but non-MD therapist but maybe DXd by a general MD, a pediatric MD, a neurologist, or a psychiatrist but not a psychologist.)
DSM-IV for Asperger Syndrome (AS). Note the differences between the criteria for this and for ASD; many overlap as they are all under the autism umbrella; some are either present or absent from AS that are the opposite (or not criteria at all) for ASD.
This is no "eh, he's troubled and antisocial, so he must be autistic" kind of thing. Get educated, people.
Thank you for this! I wish I could rep you for both your last posts.
The DSM-V has not been released yet. I suspect part of the reason Aspergers is being eliminated, from what I've learned from the Marcus Institute and Emory, is that the "speech delay" or impairment would in some cases like my son's, rule OUT an Asperger's diagnosis. But the definition of "speech delay", even as it is now defined, is cloudy. My son spoke fine, said his first word on time, his first 2 words strung together, reached all his milestones up until around age 2 (just before). He then regressed into echolalia, and could only parrot back what was said to him, and what he memorized from cartoons. His speech came back, though very awkward. He couldn't form proper sentences. By the time he was diagnosed as Aspergers, his speech was very good. But that brief relapse was what would have possibly held him back from a true AS diagnosis, rather than HF Autism.
This is a bone of contention with many specialists, now. I'm very curious to know if this is why the "Aspergers" diagnosis will be put under the Autistic Umbrella, instead. Many of the kids I work with who are AS have "flapping" or unusual head movements, and unusual inflections in their speech. My son speaks very well, now, but used to jerk his head around so much he couldn't focus on anything, until about a year ago. This is typically an "autistic" trait.
So, there are still so many things under question with these diagnostics. My son *was* given the Asperger's diagnosis, as his speech delay was ultimately deemed "not significant enough". I wasn't pushing for either AS or HF Autism, or any other spectrum disorder specifically. Either way, he's the same kid. So if the DSM-V comes out, and my son will be considered HF Autistic, as will all people with Aspergers, so be it.
The journey continues... we still have a lot to learn about autism. It's very much a mystery.
I hope this makes sense. I'm struggling to keep my eyes open!
First you say there are no meds to treat AS, and then you state that someone with AS can be treated with a slew of meds that are currently being used to treat other problems, like Anxiety, OCD, BiPolar, etc.
WTF? Therefore: there ARE meds out there ised to treat AS. And by using these meds to treat it, it serves to increase the sales of those meds.
Mark my words: you know those cutesy commercials with the crayon-like drawings of butterflies and sunrises and cartoon people waking-up in the moring and seeing the sunrise after taking their anxiety or depression meds? Well, pretty soon you'll see them for AS. They might be the same drugs, but the drawings will be different; it'll prolly show some guy shying away from personal contact, or looking away from people who talk to him, or what have you. But the pitch and the commercial tagline will be different: "Feel like you belong again. Kick your Asperger's in the Ass with Scewitol!Ask your doctor today!
Remember, you heard it here first! LOL.
You know DrummerBoy, I'm annoyed by all the pharmaceutical commercials too--you have no idea how much I am. Only in America. . . but don't get me started. However, just because there are too many commercials for meds does not mean that the conditions are non-existent. This actually makes financial sense--no drug co is going to spend billions on R&D for a drug for a non-existent illness. The profit motive is too great for that. Also, statistics show that the incidence of kids born on the AS has gone up precipitously in the last few years--it's not just that more attention is being paid to it. Something is going on and it benefits no one to deny it--least of all the kids themselves.
Perhaps you have no idea what it's like wandering around in a fog with a vague idea that you're different from other people and that there's something wrong with you and then one day . . . . you get an answer and find out that there are plenty of other people like you who share your pain and that there are many positives to your unique personality that you'd never thought of b/c you were too busy focusing on what was wrong. It's not about the meds, though in my case they do help and I take the minimum dose and if anything else goes wrong with my health I"m likelier to treat it with herbs and supplements than with drugs.
I have a personal theory about why the numbers have gone up, and I ask parents of kids with AS this very respectfully and without blame (because who could have known?)--did the mothers of these kids consume any products with aspartame while pregnant? I ask because I've had my own personal issues with the stuff and it's hard to say whether I had problems b/c of my own unique brain wiring. I had seizures on and off for years after they started putting it in the sodas in 1983, and after I stopped drinking diet sodas or using any other thing with aspartame they went away and never came back. I wonder b/c the timing of the rise of AS begins with aspartame being put on the market.
Like some of you know I've had some problems with acquiring ladies and new friends...
I've never felt comfortable in social situations etc and a few days ago I read about AS... And almost all of it seemed to fit in like a glove.
Now I've done some tests(6 to be exact), American, British and Swedish and all of them basically say "you likely have AS, you should get yourself checked out by a professional". (the American test said I was close to the risk-zone, the other 5 who had more specific and a larger quantity of questions pretty much scored a close to definite positive...)
So what does this mean for me?
Do anyone know males with AS who have been successful with women?
If I go and have it diagnosed officially, should I tell a woman I meet about it after a while(a couple of dates) or just be quiet?
First of all, I would not get all excited just based off of an internet test. Any fool can set up any sort of "test" they want and call it official. You can get your IQ tested and find out you're a genius(!) and even get them to sell you some products to congratulate you on your new found wisdom... you get the idea. The only way to know for sure is to see a doctor and get officially tested.
Then we come to the question of how this information would be beneficial to you. We all have quirks, intricacies. You may have a very mild occurrence of something and it may never prevent you from living a full life--just be a slight difference. I don't think every little thing necessarily benefits from a label. If you were able to graduate high school, go on to college, work a job, then clearly you aren't that profoundly affected. It might be just as useful to simply work on your social skills.
Which brings us to the last point. Do you really think a diagnosis would do anything to help you with women? Do you think that by being able to tell them you have AS, it would make them feel any differently about you? About the social skill issues that would have bugged them before? Do you imagine they would excuse some things of you? Having AS is not exactly a plus when dating, most people find. I hope you're not thinking that this diagnosis would somehow improve your dating life. In order to do that, you're going to have to work on the behaviors that are turning women off, not waste time trying to see if there is a label behind them.
OP, I'm guessing that you're busy reading up at this point so I'd like to tell you about a book that you should probably check out. It's called: Shadow Syndromes: The Mild Forms of Major Mental Disorders That Sabotage Us by John Ratey. It's actually the first book I read on the subject that pointed me in the right direction and it talks about how humans are on a sliding scale--sort of like the Kinsey scale of human sexuality. Some of us are closer to the AS end of the scale and some are far away from that, which would give some validation to those here who are arguing with the labels--where do you determine where the AS or ADD cut off line is?
It turns out that those who have a mild form of any of the syndromes have a distinct advantage in life, but probably not in all things. If you have a mild form of AS for example, you might have an advantage professionally, depending on your career choice of course, but a disadvantage when trying to date. You will appear more normal than someone with Asperger's but less normal than someone further away from the AS end. Anyway, it's an interesting thing to explore and I wish you well in your quest for answers and all of Ratey's books are good.
From what I understood part of the definition of AS is as a part of the spectrum between normal and autistic, and within this spectrum a person can be gravely hindered by it or just suffer some characteristic problems/traits.
Most personality traits are on a spectrum though -- that's just the nature of things. In fact many disorders in psychology are really just personality traits that become called so, if they are pushed to an extreme that they either impair daily life or cause harm to either the person themself or to others.
And sometimes it is really just a judgement call over how extreme something is that it becomes classified as a "disorder". It can be for any personality trait, for instance being shy, or being quick to anger, etc.
People should realize that lots of things in life are on a spectrum and there is no clear-cut fine line.
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