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I know how difficult Huntington's is but my advice still stands either ask a member of the staff to clear the restroom and wait outside until you are out or ask to use to staff restroom. If there is truly not either a one stall or family restroom then they are the best possible option.
I actually encountered this many times. I am caretaker of my adult quadraplegic grandson..
Before he had a supra pubic cath I had to do the in/out catheter on him..Most often I would try to get him back to the car to do it, but there were many times it was more urgent..
At those times, I would stand outside the mens door and he went in and politely explained that he needed to be cathed and mamaw had to do it. The men would exit when convenient and I would always ask one to guard the door while we were in there..I never had a prolem with anyone acting offended..
There were a couple times I had to ask the ladies for some privacy..no problem there either..
My first reaction would be to use the bathroom appropriate for the more able of the two. The matter of concern is the sensitivity of other patrons, and I think they would feel less uncomfortable in the presence of a person that they understood was incapacitated in some way.
If it were me, caring for my mother, I wouldn't take her into the ladies' room, because my presence in there would be more intrusive than her presence in a men's room.
I doubt if very many men would be overly offended by a lady in the men's room, and there is sufficient privacy in there. I also doubt if patrons in the ladies' room would feel offended by a woman taking an incapable man into the room.
There's more privacy in the women's restroom, because everything takes place in stalls.
For those ladies who may never have been in the men's room, not all mens rooms are designed to be discreet. You may walk right in, turn the corner, and see weiner. That's a lot more awkward than seeing feet underneath a stall, for both parties involved.
For the OP, you'll probably develop an awareness of which places have the best restrooms for your needs. I was in a wheelchair for a while, and I knew exactly which stores I could use the restroom in easily and which ones I could not. The newer Walmart stores have a family bathroom which is ideal...room to move around and privacy. For places that don't have a good restroom setup, just ask a female employee or even a lady who's coming out of the restroom to see if there are other ladies inside or if the restroom is empty, if they can watch the door for you while you assist your lady. I know I'd have no problem standing there and guarding the door for you, I think most ladies would be willing.
i agree with hedgehog. the ladies' restroom allows for a lot more privacy since the stalls are separated and no one can actually see anyone's parts. i would just announce politely, while entering, 'excuse me i am with my caretaker and just need to use the restroom--no harm meant. we will go into the stall and no one will see anything.'
If you have the responsibility of assisting a disabled adult, who's of the opposite sex than you, and all that is available is a public men's or women's restroom. which one do you opt to use?
It is proper to use the bathroom gender that is the assisted persons gender.
Can you imagine the stress it would cause to take your mom or your dad into the wrong gender bathroom! On my! I don't even want to deal with that!!
Other people will understand once they see an older or handicapped person getting assisted by another adult.
well, you are not going to the bathroom to get naked or whatever. if somebody is handicapped or have a kid that needs to use the bathroom (and there is no family room), we should have the decency to accept /help with that. put yourself in their situation.. What a handicapped person can do to you (even if he is a male). come on.
I was leaning a bit more towards whatever the gender is of the person you're assisting, but do what's logically easier all around.
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