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Yes that one.. What could cause someone to not be able to achieve orgasm? At all during intercourse. Specifically ladies here. Bad lover comments aside as that's not the issue. I've even brought it up to my OB who just checked my hormones/thyroid and said all was fine.. I'm not talking like only once in a great while I don't get one , more like once in 13 years. I don't even know how to approach it anymore with doctors , friends etc. I feel like the odd one out when friends talk about great sex and I'm just like ummmm yah me too.. Tried positions, lubes, toys,foreplay etc. Ive become almost uninterested in sex now because I know its not going to happen anyways.
So medically speaking could there be a reason I am doomed to never experience this elusive O I hear so much about?
Lots of women don't orgasm during intercourse. It's not uncommon, it just isn't all that much talked about and - contrary to popular belief, women have egos too and will brag about MO's even if they're not even getting a single one
The primary nerve for the physical aspect of orgasm isn't even IN the vagina. It's outside it, and hooded away from direct contact unless the hood is pulled back, or the clitoris swells beyond the sheath (which doesn't even happen with some women). Direct contact with the clitoris can actually be painful for some women. For others, it's all that "works." And with still others, an almost-direct contact (through the hood, rather than pulling the hood back) is what's necessary.
Of course orgasm isn't exclusively a physiological thing; it's also a mental thing, and an emotional thing. But it culminates in muscular contractions that are definitely exclusively physical. You're expecting the "g-spot" to do the trick. Not all women respond to it, and not all womens' insides are built to be sensitive to it. Don't be disappointed - just learn what works for you and if your significant other isn't able to do it, well just go ahead and give yourself permission to do it for yourself
A lot of women don't orgasm during intercourse, our bodies aren't designed for intercourse to be enough to do the trick. Sometimes if you've had a clitoral orgasm before intercourse, it makes it easier for a g-spot orgasm to happen.
If you have never had an orgasm, you may not even know what you're looking for. You pretty much have to figure it out on your own before it can happen with a partner. Get a vibrator, it's the easiest way. And try it out on your own, until it works for you a few times. Then you can let your partner use it on you as part of foreplay.
If you used to be able to climax and now you can't, look at what medicines you're taking. Antidepressants (especially prozac), blood pressure medications, etc...some meds will keep you from being able to finish, or will make what used to be an intense orgasm just feel like a second or two of semi-good feeling.
All good suggestions from other posters. Drugs will play a part.
here is a suggestion.. please yourself first. get to know yourself. what pressure do you like and where? Do you like fast, slow, softer vs harder? Get a "toy" - most women I know who can't or have a hard time achieving the O get a hitachi and swear by it.
Don't just "touch' in one spot, but find your "combinations".
Don't do it in medical sense, but think about what you WANT while you explore. Do you want loving kisses and whispered sweet nothings, or do you want brutal kisses and growls.
Try different lubes - the heat, the tingling, etc..
they make all kinds of toys these days that can be used in conjunction with intercourse or by yourself or with your lover(s)
Once you know what please you - than you can inform your partner and go from there.
Yikes poor kid. I'm unclear though--can you have one with yourself?
Yes you can, clitoral stimulation by yourself using a vibrator or your fingers works for me. I cannot orgasam during intercourse either, I can have an orgasam if I pleasure myself or if my husband performs oral sex down there that's it. Maybe instead of focusing on getting an orgasam you should just dim the lights, light some candles, maybe give each other a body massage with those scented oils they sell in those adult shops, kissing each body part and teasing one another before you get down to it. Take it slow, relax, enjoy yourself, let everything in your life that may be stressing you fly out of the window.
Oral sex begun by your lover lightly touching every part of your body. Butterfly touching. Occasionally, including your clitoris, but, unpredictably. Slow, but, not draggingly slow. Then full-fledged clitoral oral stimulation, slow, but, steady and reaching into the g-spot to push up toward the outside... changing, and when she says don't stop, then, don't stop and don't speed up. In a lover's words: I won't stop if it takes my last breath. To add a secret never ever mentioned in books... do not empty your bladder before sex. I was 42 before making this monumental discovery. After all this, your partner can have his turn.
Oral sex begun by your lover lightly touching every part of your body. Butterfly touching. Occasionally, including your clitoris, but, unpredictably. Slow, but, not draggingly slow. Then full-fledged clitoral oral stimulation, slow, but, steady and reaching into the g-spot to push up toward the outside... changing, and when she says don't stop, then, don't stop and don't speed up. In a lover's words: I won't stop if it takes my last breath. To add a secret never ever mentioned in books... do not empty your bladder before sex. I was 42 before making this monumental discovery. After all this, your partner can have his turn.
why shouldn't you empty your bladder before sex? This is a new one to me.
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