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Old 11-09-2007, 10:04 AM
4,271 posts, read 14,175,287 times
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Prior to my father's death, I can't say I really thought much about it. I was young, invincible and had never seen anybody get sick or die. After my Dad was diagnosed with cancer, it became a different story. When you get that kind of news about a loved one, you can't help but think of your own mortality as well as your loved one. Watching my Dad suffer through the pain and agony of cancer, I can only say that death is a b****. I feared it, couldn't fathom it even though it was staring me in the face - just a completely surreal experience. The last month or two honestly felt like "the walking dead". Dad was on pain meds, which made him comfortable, but he was totally out of it for most of the day. It's hard to explain and only those folks who have been through it can probably relate. I will say this though, one of the last lucid conversations I had with Dad, he seemed at peace with everything - a different perspective than three years prior when he was first diagnosed. He said to me that we (me, my brothers and Mom) shouldn't be afraid because he wasn't afraid. I tried to hold the tears back and did it just long enough to put him to bed. I wasn't there when Dad died but when I got the news that he wasn't doing well, I flew home right away. By the time I got to Texas, my bro said Dad had passed on. I didn't get to say goodbye. I was devastated. We were with Dad's body for a good 2 hours before the undertaker came. I held Dad's hands. I couldn't believe he was gone even though his body was completely and utterly lifeless. He was finally at peace and I was OK with that. Now, I'm 29, I feel like I've lived a lifetime seeing the passing of my father at such a young age. How do I feel about death? It's an inevitable process that we will all succumb to eventually. I fear it but not as much as how "it's all going to go down." I think I am a better person now than I was before Dad's death. I'm more forgiving, loving, and I love life. Live it before it's gone.
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Old 11-09-2007, 10:11 AM
Location: NJ
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The older I get the sadder I get, probably because I become more aware of my own mortality (isn't it amazing how invincible we feel when young) and I think of all the things I will never do.
Then again, if I am lucky enough to live to a good old age, I will probably be pretty tired and may be quite ready for it.
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Old 11-09-2007, 10:48 AM
Location: in drifts of snow wherever you go
2,493 posts, read 3,444,503 times
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Originally Posted by Blitzrunner15 View Post
I wish humans didn't have to die and i wish we could live longer.
Ur thoughts and comments? thanx
Most people have some form of death denial, because I poor little human brains can't handle such a big concept.

An awareness of death and mortality helps focus on living.

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Old 11-09-2007, 11:29 AM
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Well lets just say i would be nervous if i was to be put to death or executed as i won't deny that. However on the flip side i've already made peace with the creator (i'm not pushing religion) that when it's time for me to go then thats fine. Until that happens i'll just do my best in my life and let the chips fall where they may....
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Old 11-09-2007, 11:45 AM
Location: wrong planet
5,135 posts, read 10,439,005 times
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I went through an experience similar to yours. When I was 26, my Dad, who was 49, was diagnosed with cancer. He died 3 months after the diagnosis. It made me think about death at a very young age and it changed my thinking forever. I don't take anything for granted and I try hard to live in the moment, we never know how long we will be here.

Am I afraid of death? I am not afraid of being dead, but I am afraid of HOW I will die. My husbands parents also both died of cancer and it is such a horrible way to die. Especially if you go through the conventional cancer treatments, like chemo. At least my Dad was spared that, as it wouldn't have done him any good anymore. I am so thankful for that. So I am hoping for a quickk death, when it comes.
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Old 11-09-2007, 11:52 AM
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Thanks for your understanding. It is true that one takes less things for granted after a horrible tragedy. I'm the same way. Best to you.
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Old 11-09-2007, 12:11 PM
Location: wrong planet
5,135 posts, read 10,439,005 times
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It's hard when you lose a parent....some of my friends are older than I am and still have both their parents alive and well. I hope your mom lives a long and healthy life!

Best wishes to you, Foma!!!!
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Old 11-09-2007, 12:15 PM
Location: Beautiful Upstate NY!
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I remember this episode of Six Feet Under where the character Nate best explained it when someone asked him 'Why do people have to die?' He answered 'to give true meaning and definition to life.'

If life (as we know it) was never-ending...I imagine we'd all get very tired. Death is what guides us through most of life's processes, journeys and emotions.

We really can't have one without the other.
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Old 11-09-2007, 12:19 PM
Location: GREECE
10 posts, read 22,344 times
Reputation: 18
If We Lived 4 Lots Of Years, Life Would Be Boring (do U Understand Me???) I`m Not Scared To Die, But I Don`t Want To Die Because I`m Young....

Last edited by Mattie Jo; 11-10-2007 at 04:59 AM.. Reason: sorry, only English
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Old 11-09-2007, 01:23 PM
Location: Wherabouts Unknown!
7,771 posts, read 17,231,587 times
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Default Piching on Sunday!

Foma, I can relate to your experience with your dad. I had a similar experience with my mother. I was with her throughout the last night of her life, not knowing that it was. In the morning she was still hangin in there so I went out to do a few quick errands. By the time I got back, she was gone. I missed her last breath by about a minute. Can you believe the irony of that. It still hurts 17 years later. In many way, death is a more painful experience for the survivors than it is for the person dying.

Now on a lighter note:
I gotta agree with Woody too.
Like Cil, I'm not a big fan of pain and suffering. It would be nice to take this final step while sound asleep, with no pain in the process.
Now for some outright humor:
Joe and Tom were lifelong friends who loved playing baseball, but they were both getting on in years. One day they discussed dying and they both wondered if there was any basball in heaven. They made an agreement that the first one to go, would find a way to communicate with the earthbound survivor in regard to the baseball question. Shortly therafter Tom died, and shortly after Toms death Joe heard a voice one night that sounded just like Tom. Is that you Tom, Joe asked. Yeah it's me said Tom and I've got some good news and some bad news in regard to the baseball issue, so I'll lay it out for you with the good news first. Yeah, we got baseball in heaven but you're pitching on Sunday.

Last edited by CosmicWizard; 11-09-2007 at 01:39 PM..
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