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Old 12-06-2007, 01:43 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
919 posts, read 2,952,159 times
Reputation: 252

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Is this actually possible? Can it be done? I have set out a few years ago to try to be around more postiive people in my life, but for some reason, I keep attracting people who are hurtful...what am i doing wrong? I think I have opened up to much for one, told too much personal business and I think I am too trusting...I also want everyone to like me and that is not "possible"...it is a journey for sure...esp as a adult survivor of abuse, its been downright horrible at times, can anyone relate?
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Old 12-06-2007, 02:15 PM
 
Location: in drifts of snow wherever you go
2,493 posts, read 3,443,192 times
Reputation: 692
Seaharbor,

Can you give more specific examples of your experiences? You're obviously upset or dismayed about something, but I'm not sure what...

greenie
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Old 12-06-2007, 02:23 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
919 posts, read 2,952,159 times
Reputation: 252
Just in general, life...reallly would take me like ten hours to be specific here....I just am very wounded, sensitive person,and my feeilngs get hurt very easily and often times it is the bullies in life who can sense me and then attack...I have talked bout this at length my T who said that when I get stronger they will back off from me, but i wonder when here? I feel as if its been this way my entire lif

i was raised in an abusive enviornment that taught me to doubt myself, my abilties and even my own beliefs, thoughts and values, I have come a long way thanks to a very good therapist who helped me see that i am a product of my environment and that that can change, and i have done the work, I had to get to the roots of my childhood abuse, see what it was, for what it was and then I had to relearn how to reparent myself, its been tough but i have come along way...

I still find myself being bullied however...
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Old 12-06-2007, 02:47 PM
 
Location: PA
13 posts, read 55,248 times
Reputation: 35
You just have to stand up for yourself. I know you don't want to be the jerk they are, but if you don't say anything and accept their behavior, they won't respect you and will continue being that way. Bullies only respect people that are they think are strong enough to fight back.

I'm sorry to hear what you've been through. The fact that you have been abused but want to be a positive person means you are much stronger than
the people who try to bully you. They get off on making people feel bad because it makes them feel superior and strong. They are really just incredibly insecure and pathetic people.

I think the only way it's going to get better is if you work on being more confident, and learning who you should confide in, and be friends in. Those people don't deserve any of your time.
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Old 12-06-2007, 03:02 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
919 posts, read 2,952,159 times
Reputation: 252
and learning who you should confide in, and be friends in

that is my problem..I seem to attract people who are not healthy.

Thanks for your kind response btw!
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Old 12-06-2007, 03:10 PM
 
Location: in drifts of snow wherever you go
2,493 posts, read 3,443,192 times
Reputation: 692
Default We're all wounded, sensitive people

Quote:
Originally Posted by Seaharbour View Post
Just in general, life...reallly would take me like ten hours to be specific here....I just am very wounded, sensitive person,and my feeilngs get hurt very easily and often times it is the bullies in life who can sense me and then attack...I have talked bout this at length my T who said that when I get stronger they will back off from me, but i wonder when here? I feel as if its been this way my entire lif

i was raised in an abusive enviornment that taught me to doubt myself, my abilties and even my own beliefs, thoughts and values, I have come a long way thanks to a very good therapist who helped me see that i am a product of my environment and that that can change, and i have done the work, I had to get to the roots of my childhood abuse, see what it was, for what it was and then I had to relearn how to reparent myself, its been tough but i have come along way...

I still find myself being bullied however...
Your post is very general. It's really hard to give an advice/thoughts without hearing a specific incident. I mean, we're all wounded sensitive people (sounds like a song, right?), but so what? You have to rise above it and get outside of your own pool of misery.

Sometimes I think a lot of this modern day psychology teaches people to sit around and feel sorry for themselves. Everyone wants to talk about what a crap time they had as a child. Name one person who hasn't gone through some suffering in life? One. Name one.

Here's the secret to climbing our of your misery and torment. Do something kind for another living thing. Reach out to someone else who is suffering. Your experiences can make you bitter or humble. Which do you choose?

Greenie
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Old 12-06-2007, 03:10 PM
 
5,006 posts, read 14,123,630 times
Reputation: 2445
I am wondering where you meet these people? Maybe you have to meet nice people in good environments. I just need to know more. I believe you have to work on yourself more so that your energy will attack kind people. That was just a thought, but it is good you are in therapy if it is working for you.
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Old 12-06-2007, 03:23 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
919 posts, read 2,952,159 times
Reputation: 252
thank you jessaka...I was severly abused as a child, I am lucky to have come this far, I know that..be well.

I think I need to get offline for awhile. THat is where i have the most problems.
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Old 12-06-2007, 03:24 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
919 posts, read 2,952,159 times
Reputation: 252
Sometimes I think a lot of this modern day psychology teaches people to sit around and feel sorry for themselves. Everyone wants to talk about what a crap time they had as a child. Name one person who hasn't gone through some suffering in life? One. Name one.

I honestly do not know how to even respond to that statement, I think its best not too.
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Old 12-06-2007, 05:07 PM
 
Location: In a house
21,956 posts, read 21,899,422 times
Reputation: 14937
I actually had it pretty good as a child--not perfect but darn good. I'm not sure todays psychology ALWAYS teaches people to feel sorry for themselves--I call that the "pity-potty". And there is not enough time in a lifetime to sit there! Yes, everyone has gone through some degree of suffering--that's life. Not everyone has had the same kind of suffering you may have had. That is the difference. But there is a way to work through many of these problems--be open and give it a chance!!
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