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I don't drink but I like to go see live music with my friends. It took a while to get used to hanging out in that atmosphere without drinking, but it's worth it especially since you are so into music.
Do you have another friend (among the group) to hang with who doesn't drink? It makes a BIG difference to have an "ally" who doesn't drink so you don't feel so isolated among people who aren't 100%.
Also, if you feel uncomfortable, bored or tempted at any time, just leave. You don't have to explain or justify it to anyone, just bail! At first, you might want to have your own transportation so you can leave whenever you want. It gets easier.
I've been 3 years sober from alcohol. It's very difficult to quit drinking alcohol. But if you really want to have changes you have to motivate yourself. Try to attend AA meeting
AA can a help to some who need the structure and social network it provides. But it's not for everyone. You might also check out the Rational Recovery website, and this motivational interviewing checklist:
AA can a help to some who need the structure and social network it provides. But it's not for everyone. You might also check out the Rational Recovery website, and this motivational interviewing checklist:
I think quitting and AA is similar to quitting smoking with the group support. You are right, it isn't for everyone. I know of people who needed the interaction with others to quit, but many do better on their own. I know when I quit smoking , I just sat a date and did it. Of course it took several tries. Hubby did the same, others have been helped with meds or group involvement. I know some who quit drinking using AA, others just decided to quit and did. No, it isn't easy but if one is determined they can do it.
I don't drink that often, usually just go out with friends on the weekends to bars/clubs. I have gone on stints in my life where I would be completely sober, lasting anywhere from a few months to a few years. When I drink I just don't feel healthy. We all know that it kills brain cells and is hard on our livers, and it slows me down and makes me waste money and time being hungover.
As of Monday I have decided to give it up for good. This does not mean I can't go out with my friends, it just means I won't drink when I go out. I've always been more mentally strong without alcohol/drugs and I think that's the direction I need to take in order to grow and advance in my life.
If any of you want to share your experiences in quitting, please be my guest.
I never drank anything but beer and wine, but I went through a stretch where I went from hardly drinking ever, to instead drinking about eight beers a night. Then I was buying beer to take home.
When you make the transition from an occasional night out to buying beer daily on the way home to drink at home, every day, minimum of six a night....there's an issue. I decided right then to stop. I'm no alcoholic but I was heading on a fast train to that place, I do believe.
I stopped cold turkey for four years. I now might have a beer or glass of wine, if out at a restaurant, a couple times a month, but that's it. I do like beer and wine, even non-alcoholic stuff if it's good.
Like you, I find out it did me no favors in the health department. It's also funny how if you drank beer and wine it's classy, but cheap whiskey means you're a rip-roaring drunk. Because I drank upscale microbrews I didn't feel like the town drunk.
I stopped drinking and vow never to return to it. It was killing me. I now know that the majority of those that drink only know a FEW of the consequences. They don't know the silent consequences that are building up that could literally terrorize them in due time. I don't doubt that taking a glass of wine a day could be good for you. But if anyone was like me that drank to get a buzz, then they are only hurting themselves significantly in ways they don't even realize. It affects everything about you and even hurts those that love you.
Now, that I have told you that I quite drinking, let me tell you what I think I did drink. When I drank, I ALWAYS drank to get drunk so if this is not you then this may not be applicable to you. But I believe that I drank because I wanted that HIGH feeling (the part of the buzz where you felt ENERGETIC). I know that seems odd but it was at that part that I felt what I believe was a NORMAL feeling (though so unnormal). What I mean is that I believe I was missing that feeling of energy that I should normally be having and when I drank it returned (even if but for a short time). But I believe it made me crave alcohol. Therefore, I believe one of the best ways to remove someone from becoming an alcoholic is to induce that ENERGY into them nutritionally so they have less of an urge to drink. I believe I drank because I felt like my sober mood was not optimal and lacked the energy and motivation that it needed to prevent me from drinking.
When you make the transition from an occasional night out to buying beer daily on the way home to drink at home, every day, minimum of six a night....there's an issue. I decided right then to stop. I'm no alcoholic but I was heading on a fast train to that place, I do believe.
That's the point where you're using alcohol as a medication rather than as something pleasurable. Alcoholism has been mentioned a couple of times in this thread: there's really no such animal in the DSM-IV. There's substance abuse, which may or may not end up as substance dependence. One can also become dependent on pleasurable behaviors: gambling, sex, eating, etc. Or even positive things like exercise; it's all the same neurological mechanism.
I drank pretty heavily for quite a few years, and some of my health problems since have probably been related to my drinking years: gallstones leading to gall bladder removal a year ago, struggles with hypertension since the mid-1980s, atrial fibrillation which I developed around 2001 (nine years after quitting alcohol), panic disorder (which went away a couple of years after I quit drinking). That's just the health problems, there are plenty of other problems drinking led to in my life: legal, relationship, financial etc.
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I stopped cold turkey for four years. I now might have a beer or glass of wine, if out at a restaurant, a couple times a month, but that's it. I do like beer and wine, even non-alcoholic stuff if it's good.
Like you, I find out it did me no favors in the health department. It's also funny how if you drank beer and wine it's classy, but cheap whiskey means you're a rip-roaring drunk. Because I drank upscale microbrews I didn't feel like the town drunk.
I don't drink any more because I don't trust myself to drink in a controlled manner. I believe I'd start out responsibly, but I do have a tendency toward excess. And my life is better without it. If someone wants to reduce their intake, they can try it out and see how it goes. If you can't drink moderately, you may be better off abstaining entirely. Do I miss it at this point in my life? Kind of. I'd love to have a glass of very good sherry or a Manhattan ... but could I stay at one glass? It's the uncertainty that keeps me away from starting again ... I remember the bad times all too well.
Plus, it's nice going 21 years without a hangover.
So I went to a substance abuse evaluation with an expert and they said I was by no means an alcoholic and that they wanted me to focus on quitting for my own reasons. They said they recommend rehab for those that are alcoholics, but that they simply couldn't recommend it to me because I'm not classified as an alcoholic. It's good to know that I wasn't an alcoholic, but I still want to quit and will be staying on the path.
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