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Wife and I have been married for 3 years, I am 30 and she is 29. When we met we were both smokers but I quit after a process that was not easy. I encouraged my then gf to quit and she of course said she would but never did. She told me she has been a smoker since she was 15 and her mother who is also a smoker would buy her packs. The thing is lately, probably the past 4 months she has really been hacking and coughing a lot, in the middle of the night, when she wakes up and even at work. She will even spit up mucus and phlegm. We have a one year old daughter as well that I am worried about. She smokes about 1-2 packs a day and I am really concerned. Being a former smoker myself I do realize how very difficult it can be to quit but at this rate I am worried she won't live to see our daughter graduate High School or at least college.
I try to be understanding about and don't want to be hypocritical but I am concerned with her long term health. I have tried talking to her about it but she says she will quit when she's ready. Admittedly I have said the same but I did manage to quit.
You are in a rough situation. If she does not want to help herself its difficult to imagine how she is going to quit. Some people continue smoking even after they develop lung cancer or throat cancer. Its amazing, but its true.
Smoking is an addiction that is comparable to addiction to heroin or other opiates. Some say it is worse than alcohol addiction. I suspect it varies from person to person.
What I do want to point out is that wonderful tobacco cessation programs now exist. In many states, much of the cost of these programs is paid for by tobacco settlement fund. Your wife maybe able to get excellent help quitting at no cost of low cost. If you want to find out more about these programs, contact your state or local health department. First, though, she has to recognize there is a problem.
Last edited by markg91359; 07-05-2016 at 10:29 AM..
Yes, doctors are slowly coming around as they see their patients getting healthier while using the ecig. Although, I've not heard that about them suggesting ecigs to never smokers. Please source your link to that info. I would love to read it.
I'll see if I can dig it up but I'm not sure I remember where I saw it.
She's a born nicotine addict. She really has to have that nicotine. It isn't just the "behavior" thing of smoking. That doesn't mean she can't eventually quit. It's just not going to be a walk in the park. And, it may take multiple attempts.
When she quits, if she's over 30 or so, she's very likely going to gain a lot of weight. Nicotine is a powerful metabolic agent. It varies of course, but some people will blow up like a hippopotamus once they've been off ciggies for a few months. Be prepared. My ex-BF quit, and he blew up 45 lbs. I dumped him.
Never a bad idea to try Zyban and/or Chantix. They have good success rates, overall, HOWEVER the side effects makes many people discontinue them. Zyban should be introduced very gradually - cut the pills in half (that worked for me, because otherwise I could throw up on command after day 3, and so I quit that stuff the first attempt). Chantix also has side effects (for me nausea and nightmares); nonetheless, both agents caused me to lose my taste for ciggies for weeks - even though I had only taken them for a week or two. In the case of Chantix, it took me more than 3 months to go back to smoking, even though I only took it for two weeks or so.
Cold turkey seems to work for very heavy smokers, but never worked for me (I was always a half pack a day smoker). BF was three packs per day and he quit cold turkey just like that. He never went back.
My neighbor, a heavy smoker for 45 years, and my cousin both quit after hypnosis. I tried hypnosis twice, but was informed after 2 failures that I was not a candidate for that because I can't be hypnotized (makes sense to me). Worth a try, though.
If smokers could see what my DH is going through, how terrible it is, they might want to quit sooner. He finally quit for good, after smoking for many decades. But too much damage has been done. Asthma, COPD, Empysema, etc. Quitting helped some, but I think if he'd quit at least 10 years earlier, it wouldn't be nearly so bad! BTW, he used Chantix and ecigarettes to help him quit.
She's a born nicotine addict. She really has to have that nicotine. It isn't just the "behavior" thing of smoking. That doesn't mean she can't eventually quit. It's just not going to be a walk in the park. And, it may take multiple attempts.
When she quits, if she's over 30 or so, she's very likely going to gain a lot of weight. Nicotine is a powerful metabolic agent. It varies of course, but some people will blow up like a hippopotamus once they've been off ciggies for a few months. Be prepared. My ex-BF quit, and he blew up 45 lbs. I dumped him.
Never a bad idea to try Zyban and/or Chantix. They have good success rates, overall, HOWEVER the side effects makes many people discontinue them. Zyban should be introduced very gradually - cut the pills in half (that worked for me, because otherwise I could throw up on command after day 3, and so I quit that stuff the first attempt). Chantix also has side effects (for me nausea and nightmares); nonetheless, both agents caused me to lose my taste for ciggies for weeks - even though I had only taken them for a week or two. In the case of Chantix, it took me more than 3 months to go back to smoking, even though I only took it for two weeks or so.
Cold turkey seems to work for very heavy smokers, but never worked for me (I was always a half pack a day smoker). BF was three packs per day and he quit cold turkey just like that. He never went back.
My neighbor, a heavy smoker for 45 years, and my cousin both quit after hypnosis. I tried hypnosis twice, but was informed after 2 failures that I was not a candidate for that because I can't be hypnotized (makes sense to me). Worth a try, though.
The weight gain is very real, 45 LBS is an extreme though. Hitting the gym regularly does help though. I gained about 20 in the months following the quit. Joining a gym helped though, in my case age didn't help me was 38 then when metabolism slows regardless. It took multiple attemps for me too. Your post speaks much truth about smoking cessation.
I will never go back after 2 years quit. I had challenges with 2 close family members dying and moving house in regards to stress and held on. If I can do it, The OPs wife can and anyone can. I never thought I would ever quit. Never.
I do not trust anything the ALA puts out. After seeing the smear campaign they have done over anything that goes against the pharma companies and their profits. There is big money in people getting sick.
You don't have to trust the ALA if you don't want to do so. However, there are other websites that say the exact same thing.
She's a born nicotine addict. She really has to have that nicotine. It isn't just the "behavior" thing of smoking. That doesn't mean she can't eventually quit. It's just not going to be a walk in the park. And, it may take multiple attempts.
When she quits, if she's over 30 or so, she's very likely going to gain a lot of weight. Nicotine is a powerful metabolic agent. It varies of course, but some people will blow up like a hippopotamus once they've been off ciggies for a few months. Be prepared. My ex-BF quit, and he blew up 45 lbs. I dumped him.
Never a bad idea to try Zyban and/or Chantix. They have good success rates, overall, HOWEVER the side effects makes many people discontinue them. Zyban should be introduced very gradually - cut the pills in half (that worked for me, because otherwise I could throw up on command after day 3, and so I quit that stuff the first attempt). Chantix also has side effects (for me nausea and nightmares); nonetheless, both agents caused me to lose my taste for ciggies for weeks - even though I had only taken them for a week or two. In the case of Chantix, it took me more than 3 months to go back to smoking, even though I only took it for two weeks or so.
Cold turkey seems to work for very heavy smokers, but never worked for me (I was always a half pack a day smoker). BF was three packs per day and he quit cold turkey just like that. He never went back.
My neighbor, a heavy smoker for 45 years, and my cousin both quit after hypnosis. I tried hypnosis twice, but was informed after 2 failures that I was not a candidate for that because I can't be hypnotized (makes sense to me). Worth a try, though.
So you dumped your boyfriend because he gained weight due to quitting smoking. That seems a bit harsh....
it continues to baffle me that cigarettes are still legal. Over 150,000 Americans die every year from lung cancer.
88,000 die form alcohol related deaths.
yet cannbis, which actually has medicinal benefits and is not addictive is illegal
I have no advice to offer the OP. I wish I did. I only hope she doesn't smoke indoors or around your daughter. Although I don't know how that could be possible.
So you dumped your boyfriend because he gained weight due to quitting smoking. That seems a bit harsh....
he's better off. sounds like she's still a smoker and that is much more disgusting than being overweight.
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