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I didn't post this in the "caregiver" section because my mom lives 1800 miles away. Perhaps one day (when she is further along) we can convince my step-dad to move closer to us and then it might become a caregiver thing.
Anyway, she told me about the diagnosis yesterday. I told her I wasn't really surprised since she's been kinda "off" for awhile now, but that I'm glad that she got a diagnosis so that treatments could be pursued.
However, my mom is a defeatist. In her mind, she is already dead and should just be left alone to die. She has other medical and psychiatric problems as well which don't help. Apparently her psychiatrist told her that the dementia part (which we're pretty sure is past) goes slower but that the actual Alzheimer's part progresses very quickly.
Anyway, anyone who has dealt with a parent that has this care to give me any insight on how this could go?
I didn't post this in the "caregiver" section because my mom lives 1800 miles away. Perhaps one day (when she is further along) we can convince my step-dad to move closer to us and then it might become a caregiver thing.
Anyway, she told me about the diagnosis yesterday. I told her I wasn't really surprised since she's been kinda "off" for awhile now, but that I'm glad that she got a diagnosis so that treatments could be pursued.
However, my mom is a defeatist. In her mind, she is already dead and should just be left alone to die. She has other medical and psychiatric problems as well which don't help. Apparently her psychiatrist told her that the dementia part (which we're pretty sure is past) goes slower but that the actual Alzheimer's part progresses very quickly.
Anyway, anyone who has dealt with a parent that has this care to give me any insight on how this could go?
I feel for you. I went through this with my mother. The worst person in the world doesn't deserve Alzheimer's.
The first thing you should do is find your closest chapter of the Alzheimer's Association, and start attending meetings. Their help is invaluable. I can't stress this too strongly.
The second thing you should do is make sure her will, advance directive, etc are all in order. We called a family meeting, including my mother, and RECORDED it. We asked her questions about what she wants and what she intends, and we asked each question in at least a couple of different ways. She may be getting fuzzy on details, that's OK. You need to determine her intent on these issues (what she wants to happen with her estate, how she wants to be cared for in various scenarios) as clearly as possible.
You don't say how old she is. If your step-dad is also getting on, you may want to get someone else as a co-signer on a checking account. She will lose the ability to keep up with her bills. You'll have to assess your own family's situation, including any levels of paranoia.
The last statistics I saw said that on average, people survive for 13 years following diagnosis. What I would tell your mother is that she still has lots of enjoyable moments left and that you will be there for her come what may, and you will do your darnedest to pick up anything that she can no longer handle and to make sure that things will be done as she wishes them to be done.
Former poster: "The first thing you should do is find your closest chapter of the Alzheimer's Association, and start attending meetings. Their help is invaluable. I can't stress this too strongly."
I absolutely agree with this recommendation.
educate yourself.
Dementia is what they used to call Altzheimers...So its not a "we are past that stage". disease. Its debilitating.
We still have both illnesses,and although similar they seem to have differences... What Is The Difference Between Alzheimer some forms of dementia can be helped.
If she gets on meds, it will slow the progress of symptoms then she will go quickly downhill near the end. If no meds, a steady decline. Most people will prefer to take meds and be as "normal" as possible for as long as possible. She may begin accusing people of either stealing or hiding things b/c she can't remember where she put them. The distant past will be much clearer to her than the recent past. She may become mercurial in temperament. Good luck.
If it were me, I would go with everything I could to slow down the progression or NEVER have the brain decline start.
When I started on OPC's I was 57 and when I realized how much help I was getting I got my mother on Pycnogenol and then grape seed ex and she was about 86 or so. She had obvious improvements and when she passed at 91, her mind was good. She and my father both ended up with cancers. Dad took Pycnogenol one time and said "it doesn't work"...typical of my dad's thinking. Anyway, I'm into 21 yrs and mind is good.
Google for more. It certainly wouldn't hurt to try it. Send your mother some. It's inexpensive and has no side effects like many pharmaceuticals. You could supplement her medications with it as well. It's important to note that the video mentions the whole food Turmeric and not the supplement that is commonly sold called Turmeric Curcumin which I take for my arthritis. I am am very happy with the results.
Please don't offer any "alternative" suggestions - I neither believe in that stuff nor would my mother do any of it.
I am asking what to expect of her status as she progresses through this illness. I have learned to be patient with her because she's been a little bat poop crazy for a couple of years now.
I cannot do much for her from FL (she lives in OH) - but I can talk with her on the phone as much as possible and I want to visit as much as I can. But I want her to be comfortable no matter what. I worry that she will forget her family at a time when we need to take care of her. I don't want her to be afraid.
Please don't offer any "alternative" suggestions - I neither believe in that stuff nor would my mother do any of it.
Really? What do you believe in? Just live with it and suffer I guess?
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