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Old 10-24-2016, 05:00 AM
 
Location: Mount Airy, Maryland
11,018 posts, read 6,359,614 times
Reputation: 17438

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It is hard to make such a difficult decision based on advice from strangers on the internet. But you asked us for our advice for a reason so you should listen to the responses.

While I have sympathy for addicts the hard truth is if you think this problem will go away you are fooling yourself. It won't, it will only get worse. 6 months in you have already caught him lyijng to you on several occasions. Big lies by the way. If you think that will change moving forward quite frankly you are an idiot. How in the world can you stay in a relationship with someone you will never be able to trust? Think long and hard about that question.
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Old 10-24-2016, 07:31 AM
 
Location: In a chartreuse microbus
3,860 posts, read 5,420,203 times
Reputation: 8047
And even though my fellow posters are too modest to say it, let me:


YOU'RE WELCOME.
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Old 10-24-2016, 08:05 AM
 
Location: Florida
11,832 posts, read 5,531,292 times
Reputation: 24464
[quote=cheapdad00;45927199]OP's 1st post, 16+ hours later, no response back to thread - possible troll thread?

OP, what attracted you to this person in the first place, especially since he revealed it to you early on? Why are you still with him?[/quote]


I have found a couple of reasons for this since I know way too many young women who stay with these drug addicts. #1 - is poor self esteem - they don't value themselves or they think no other man will want them. #2 - They need someone to "fix"; they want to be the one to change their boyfriend which will make them feel good about themselves. #3 - They are secretly drug addicts themselves and by staying with the boyfriend they have easier access to drugs.


Most of the ones I know (through one of my sons) have babies with these drug addicts. One just had her third baby with the third baby daddy. Her two oldest are living with their grandparents. She is clean (we think) but is now drinking too much. This has been her life for the last 11 years.


Nothing we say or advise the MIA OP is going to change anything. Most of the time these people who come on forums are looking for validation to continue doing what they are doing. Have any of you actually made a decision based on a stranger's advice on a forum? Probably not and this young woman won't either. Drugs are causing so many problems in this country and I will never understand why people ever go down that road.


BTW this was the OP's first post so who knows if it just another troll. I have found when their first post is something long and complicated that we will never see them again.
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Old 10-24-2016, 11:04 AM
 
12,786 posts, read 19,014,466 times
Reputation: 20659
Yet another thread started from a one time poster that will never return.
How many times are we going to fall for this?
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Old 10-24-2016, 12:10 PM
 
968 posts, read 589,842 times
Reputation: 1748
For your own best interest, drop him.


For him, if the drugs haven't taken a priority over the relationship, then it will soon. Seems like once he stops something, he'll need someone else to replace it with.


This is not your problem, and you don't want it to be.
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Old 10-24-2016, 01:07 PM
 
4,796 posts, read 3,438,498 times
Reputation: 7294
Quote:
Originally Posted by behindthescreen View Post
I have experience with drug addiction behavior.

One of two things are going to happen.

1. He's going to get busted with a controlled substance and get arrested.

2. YOU could possibly be robbed, hurt or get arrested for possession of a controlled substance. Either in your car, in your purse or just hanging out with him.

He is not in a right frame of mind. He's on drugs and they control him no matter what you do or say.

The best option for YOU is to distance yourself and not get involved anymore. You are only enabling him and you can't stop or save him no matter how much love and support you show him.

YOU are possibly going to get hurt or in trouble. Stay away.
You forgot option 3 that he is going to OD and die.

Regardless, it's nothing that someone who has been dating for 6 months should deal with. Just get out of the relationship. He's not going to get cleaned up with your help, it's only going to happen if he wants to and he clearly doesn't. Staying with him is just setting you up for a lot of heart breaks at best and as others said at worst you are putting your life in jeopardy
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Old 10-24-2016, 02:43 PM
 
1,201 posts, read 875,459 times
Reputation: 2232
1st thing to do. take all ur stuff and run as fast from him as you can.

you may love him or whatever but he only loves his drugs. not you.
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Old 10-24-2016, 02:56 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
12,304 posts, read 11,185,550 times
Reputation: 20582
He's your "boyfriend" why? Get out while you're alive! It's not going to get better. It's his problem and he needs to fix himself. You can't do that.
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Old 10-24-2016, 03:51 PM
 
Location: AZ
708 posts, read 438,687 times
Reputation: 3063
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheapdad00 View Post
OP's 1st post, 16+ hours later, no response back to thread - possible troll thread?

OP, what attracted you to this person in the first place, especially since he revealed it to you early on? Why are you still with him?

Could be a troll. But many posts on CD can be that. Still, I think most of us have seen too often people ruin their lives due to a relationship with a "loser". How often do we read news items where the "boy friend" has raped, abused, murdered some child of a mother who wanted the man more than their progeny? Horrible stuff.

The other possibility is the OP was seeking "permission" and approval to carry on this relationship. Instead she got a flood of "run away" responses. I have seen that in my extended family and no good ever results. People do not change on either side of the equation.
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Old 10-24-2016, 04:47 PM
 
6,805 posts, read 3,727,161 times
Reputation: 8537
Assuming the OP (with 1 post) is real, I would say the best course of action would be to fix yourself. Start with NarcAnon.
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