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If someone arrived at my home as a guest and displayed such poor manners as to refuse to remove their shoes upon request, they would cease to be granted the priviliges of a guest and would find themselves involuntarily deposited on the stoop with surprising speed, shoes and all. I strive to be a good and generous host, providing for my guests needs, but I refuse to allow rude individuals to take advantage of my hospitality. If you want to enter my house, you will abide by my rules.
Let me mention that I am a diabetic with peripheral neuropathy (no feeling in my feet). I never go shoeless anywhere as this increases the danger of infections and amputations. My daughter, who is also a diabetic, lost 3 toes to a carpet nail. Explaining my condition to every "egocentric" that requested the removal of my footware would not only violate my right of privacy, but would result in my immediate self-removal from said residence. If you request footware removal of me, please have suitable hard footware to replace my normal footware. BTW, I wear a size 12WW shoe.
This is a great thread because I do very much consider it a health issue! Until a couple of years ago I never gave it a thought, because where I live it's almost unheard of to see a 'no shoes allowed' household. But when I finally thought about all the crud and bacteria that is on outdoor footwear I and my son began leaving our shoes at the door. I now feel very grossed out if someone comes into my home wearing shoes but am also uncomfortable asking them to remove shoes because I never did that before. Luckily I prefer to socialize away from home so it's not often a problem for guests but it is for service people. If I know someone has to come into the house I try to put down washable floor runners and hope they take the hint to just walk on those but half the time they don't bother. I don't mind as much on the washable tile floors but on wood and carpet the idea of outdoor shoes on them is really disgusting to me. Unfortunately only the kitchen and bathroom areas in my house are tiled, the rest of the floors are wood or carpet and thus not deep-cleanable.
As you have an appropriate screenname, did you know Howard Hughes who was a fanatical germaphobe who saved his urine and nail clippings and wouldn't touch any article without it being wrapped in facial tissues?
I don't understand how someone's health preferences is an 'insult and an affront to your culture', could you explain? I'm a Caucasian American and my reasons for not wanting outdoor shoes worn in my house is because I don't want traces of whatever you've walked in outdoors (dirt, mud, lawn chemicals, dog pee, some drunk's vomit from last night, whatever) on any of my floors. I'm curious as to what you consider a good reason for shoe removal -- a white shag carpet? Also what would your reacton be if the homeowner asked you to put on a pair of shoe covers instead of removing your shoes? Would you leave in that case also? Not trying to start an argument here, because everyone's entitled to their opinion on this subject and I know it varies widely, but I am truly curious. Thanks!
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Originally Posted by Steve Hazzard Unless I'm in a country where the culture requires the removal of footware before entering a residence, I have never removed my footware when entering another person's home, unless weather and ground conditions would endear me to my host/hostess. I would consider a request to remove my footware for no good reason other than the culture or personality peculiarities of the host/hostess to be an insult and an affront to my culture. I spent over 25 years in the moving and storage business, including 12 years in sales, when I arrived at a residence for a moving estimate and was requested to remove my footware for no good reason, I declined to continue with the sales call
Since my wife and I have owned our residences we've always had a shoes off policy. For multiple reasons it makes a lot of sense, and in fact most cultures of the world recognize that fact and do it as well.
#1 - shoes are dirty... just like sidewalks, yards, roads, retail store floors, garage floors, etc. People don't wash their shoes like they do their feet and laundry. Have you ever stepped in dog feces or gum, or anything sticky or gross? In a shoes on household it would be tracked all over the carpeting. Have you ever noticed how dirty entry way mats become over just a little bit of time? Now think about the stuff that tracks onto the carpet beyond the entryway if you wear your shoes inside. Have you ever seen black marks left by shoes on your linoleum or tile flooring? I have and they're hard to remove. All these things you can avoid with a shoes off household.
#2 - shoes are very hard on carpet... When young, I moved around very frequently and changed residences no less than 14 times in about that many years. My family didn't notice the wear and tear on carpets we created and we wore our shoes everywhere... that is until we lived in a residence for 10+ years. Then we saw exactly what happened to carpets when you wore shoes vs when you didn't as we had the luxury of living right next door to a shoes off family which had identical carpeting installed at the same time. Huge difference... not just minor. Even with frequent vacuuming and steam cleaning our shoes-on carpet looked bad... our neighbors was nearly pristine by comparison. Our stairs were even worse. I just cannot emphasize the difference enough... it was so massive that after 10 years our carpet was just sad... theirs was good to go for another 5-10 more.
#3 - Other than my mother-in-law (and I'll withhold comments about her), no one, and I mean no one has ever come across as being offended about taking off their shoes in our house (and she seemed to get over it quickly). Today, my wife and I have carpet that is 15 years old and it looks good. Not great mind you... but good. Good enough that unless we proceed to sell, we could probably keep this carpet for at least another two years (and that's with toddlers and frequent visitors). Actually the key reason we will be replacing the carpet is because of the stains from all the dropped juice and food in combination with some damage caused by our former brain-damaged cat. Stains which despite our attempts to stay on top of... are noticeable and some of which just won't come out.
My recommendation to anyone who has nice or new carpets - follow my advice and wisdom as someone who has been there and done that... adopt a shoes-off rule for your home. You'll appreciate the cleaner floors and longer lasting (and softer) carpeting. You might think it a great inconvenience to take off and put on your shoes, but it isn't. You'll get used to it. If you need padding for your feet then nicely padded indoor slippers will go a long way to making you feet feel even better.
Let me mention that I am a diabetic with peripheral neuropathy (no feeling in my feet). I never go shoeless anywhere as this increases the danger of infections and amputations. My daughter, who is also a diabetic, lost 3 toes to a carpet nail. Explaining my condition to every "egocentric" that requested the removal of my footware would not only violate my right of privacy, but would result in my immediate self-removal from said residence. If you request footware removal of me, please have suitable hard footware to replace my normal footware. BTW, I wear a size 12WW shoe.
I would be happy to have you as my guest, regardless of your condition. When I requested that you remove your shoes, a simple "I have a condition that makes it dangerous" or "do you have house slippers?" would be a sufficiently courteous response from a good guest.
Likewise, as a good host, I would be obliged to provide you proper footwear. In fact I do have hard-soled house slippers ready at the door (probably the reason why I do not have to ask most people to remove their shoes). It would be terribly rude of me to ask (or imply) that my guests go barefoot or walk in socks.
I have had visitors with medical conditions, with feet that could not fit comfortably in the slippers I provide, who had work to do which required protective footgear, and who's culture required that they NOT remove their shoes. Naturally, they were all excepted from that particular house rule. What kind of host would I be if I had not?
My original post was in response to a comment that someone would not remove their shoes if asked, which exhibited an attitude that a request from the host to remove one's shoes indoors is offensive, silly, or backwards. I believe this is an improper attitude to have toward your host as a guest, and I would not welcome any visitor who expressed such an attitude.
As you have an appropriate screenname, did you know Howard Hughes who was a fanatical germaphobe who saved his urine and nail clippings and wouldn't touch any article without it being wrapped in facial tissues?
Yes, actually I did know that. However, as in many things, the exact definition of 'germaphobe' surely differs from person to person. I'm sure some of my habits (such as using 3 separate cutting boards for meat, poultry and fruits/vegetables and thoroughly cleansing them after each use; using disposable gloves when working with raw meat and poultry; never placing a piece of grilled meat or poultry back onto the same plate that it was brought raw to the bbq on) might seem 'germaphobic' to some people but are perfectly normal procedure to others. Most supermarkets are now providing sanitizing-wipes dispensers in their shopping cart areas; does using them make someone 'germaphobic', or simply 'cautious'? It's all a matter of individual perception (as in the classic "I am firm in my convictions; you are as stubborn as a mule" example)
Yes we remove our shoes when we come into the house. Our house gets dirty enough with 4 kids and living in the woods. I cannot even imagine what our floors and carpeting would look like if we didn't do this.
I am as germ conscious as anyone, but I think some things are carried way too far. I keep a clean house, vacuum, dust, shampoo rugs regularly, etc. That should be enough.
I don't remove my shoes before coming and going, neither do guests. I never gave it much thought.
Maybe if i ever replace the carpet to a lighter color, I'll do the no shoe rule and have a little area where family and friends can leave their shoes and also provide some slippers they can take home with them.
I would be happy to have you as my guest, regardless of your condition. When I requested that you remove your shoes, a simple "I have a condition that makes it dangerous" or "do you have house slippers?" would be a sufficiently courteous response from a good guest.
Likewise, as a good host, I would be obliged to provide you proper footwear. In fact I do have hard-soled house slippers ready at the door (probably the reason why I do not have to ask most people to remove their shoes). It would be terribly rude of me to ask (or imply) that my guests go barefoot or walk in socks.
I have had visitors with medical conditions, with feet that could not fit comfortably in the slippers I provide, who had work to do which required protective footgear, and who's culture required that they NOT remove their shoes. Naturally, they were all excepted from that particular house rule. What kind of host would I be if I had not?
My original post was in response to a comment that someone would not remove their shoes if asked, which exhibited an attitude that a request from the host to remove one's shoes indoors is offensive, silly, or backwards. I believe this is an improper attitude to have toward your host as a guest, and I would not welcome any visitor who expressed such an attitude.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve Hazzard Let me mention that I am a diabetic with peripheral neuropathy (no feeling in my feet). I never go shoeless anywhere as this increases the danger of infections and amputations. My daughter, who is also a diabetic, lost 3 toes to a carpet nail. Explaining my condition to every "egocentric" that requested the removal of my footware would not only violate my right of privacy, but would result in my immediate self-removal from said residence. If you request footware removal of me, please have suitable hard footware to replace my normal footware. BTW, I wear a size 12WW shoe.
With all due respect and call me what you like, this "shoes off" phobia smacks of egalitarianism and a controlling attitude toward life in general. I live in a small apartment with a "wipe your feet mat" at the entrance door, use the mat and you're good to go as long as you're not wearing spiked shoes. I have a tile floor with throw rugs, both of which are very cleanable. I live in my apartment, it's not like it's hallowed ground. Should a VIP visit your residence, would you give them the same footware treatment as a "commoner"?
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Explaining my condition to every "egocentric" that requested the removal of my footware would not only violate my right of privacy, but would result in my immediate self-removal from said residence. If you request footware removal of me, please have suitable hard footware to replace my normal footware. BTW, I wear a size 12WW shoe. 
take off your shoes folks!
