Positive test for HSV1. What to do? (cold, infection, sores)
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Sorry, this will be a long post but I am not sure what to do.
I went many years without being sexually active. Had never been tested for STDs.
I was in a relationship in 2015 and 2016 with one partner. She broke it off in the summer of 2016. We had unprotected sex many times. I know it was unwise. I have had no contact with this person since then. It was an amicable breakup but she made clear that she doesn't keep in contact with past romantic partners. The only possible way I could have transmitted HSV1 to her would be if I had gotten it as a child, since I had not been sexually active before meeting her.
I was not sexually active after the breakup until June 2017, and never had any symptoms. I had what turned out to be a short (2 month) encounter that involved unprotected sex. Again the encounter ended by her choice and was amicable. In this case, she had just gotten divorced and says she isn't ready to be in a relationship. Not really relevant except that she also doesn't want to stay in touch so I haven't talked to her for a couple months.
A friend who learned about these two encounters urged me to get checked. I did a comprehensive STD check and came back positive for HSV1.
I don't know what to do in terms of notifying these two partners. Obviously I will notify any future partners and will be more careful.
So to summarize, positive for HSV1. Had to have been either from childhood and not realizing it, or from one of these two partners. Never had any symptoms. Neither partner wants to hear from me. In fact I reached out to each one just to see how things are going and didn't hear back, which I understood (and in fact that's my fault for not respecting their wish not to hear from me).
What am I supposed to do? I just want to do the right thing but given all of these factors I'm not sure what the right thing is. I asked several close and trusted friends who are much more experienced and they all said I didn't need to disclose it but I'm not convinced.
What would you do? Sorry for how long the post is.
Disclose it. Its common enough. The details of those relationships don't really matter in the bigger picture. What those partners choose to do with the information is up to them. The irresponsible thing is NOT to disclose this piece of information because its awkward. The last thing anyone would want is to unknowingly spread it to a loved one.
Last edited by Parnassia; 10-30-2017 at 03:35 PM..
HSV-1 is cold sores (oral herpes) and is extremely common. It is not typically spread by sexual contact and you probably got it as a child. More than 50% of the population has been exposed to HSV-1. Genital herpes is HSV-2.
HSV-1 is cold sores (oral herpes) and is extremely common. It is not typically spread by sexual contact and you probably got it as a child. More than 50% of the population has been exposed to HSV-1. Genital herpes is HSV-2.
I read this as well- so does this mean tell them or not? I'm not trying to get out of anything. I don't know what the best thing to do is. This person doesn't want to hear from me and this will worry her (unless she already had it and passed it to me). I'm confident she didn't know she had it if she in fact did, but I learned most STD tests don't even include HSV and it's only tested for if you are showing symptoms. I could have gotten it from either partner or as you said, as a child.
Disclose it. Its common enough. The details of those relationships don't really matter in the bigger picture. What those partners choose to do with the information is up to them. The irresponsible thing is NOT to disclose this piece of information because its awkward. The last thing anyone would want is to unknowingly spread it to a loved one.
You can ask your county health department to contact them. They will keep your name out of it
I don't mind contacting them directly. My nightmare scenario would be that I got it from the first partner and gave it to the second partner.
It's possible I have had it for years due to childhood exposure. I would hate to have infected anybody regardless but I guess in that case I would feel less guilty since I have never had symptoms and not being active sexually (and being ignorant that it can be carried from childhood) there would be no reason to worry. But it's a moot point since there's no way to know.
It sounds like a huge majority of people never know they're carrying it because most people don't have symptoms and the STD panel usually doesn't include HSV. I paid extra to have it included.
HSV-1, while commonly referred to as oral herpes, can exist in either oral or genital regions. HSV-1 is an increasingly common reason for genital infection due to transmission via oral sex. In the absence of clinical symptoms, we assume HSV-1 is an oral infection, but it could also be genital.
Assuming you have it orally, you can transmit it a partner via oral sex, which is why I would always recommend someone disclose (and the reason I always ask partners to take a test). Also, HSV can spread even when no sores are present (this is true of HSV-1 or HSV-2 presenting either orally or genitally) via asymptomatic viral shedding.
HSV-1 is fairly common, although in the USA it is closer to 50% infection rate.
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