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I'll add my 2 cents. Why are you insisting on waiting until "the next time"? In the meantime, he may get in a wreck and either kill himself and/or somebody else. Do you want that responsibility? He has basically asked you for help by even mentioning what is going on. Why are you ignoring him? What are you afraid of? Get him in to see a good doctor ASAP.
No, I have listened and I have made a choice. I am also not ignoring him.
If he were my child, or if I had legal guardianship over him, yes, I would simple take him to a doctor. However, he is a grown adult (in spite of some unsettling signs recently) and ultimately needs to make his mind up. This is particularly the case since he apparently has insight into his own problems (or lack there of). I suggested last night that he see a medical professional. He declined for the time being. The ball is in his court.
Absolutely insisting that he see a doctor, nagging about it when he doesn’t want to may or may not help his health situation. However, what behavior like that does do (particularity when it is habitual) is strain a marriage.
Yes, I personally do not consider him the best driver in the world. However, he has never had an accident and at 61 he has had exactly one moving violation in his life (which he got yesterday). There are many, many people out on the roads who have worse track records than that (or who may have undiagnosed medical conditions that may be affecting their driving). I can tell you that he is better than many of the drivers around here. I even avoid certain roads close to our nearby University after some crazy close calls with irresponsible young’uns. Racing (literally racing, as in more than one car involved) 100+ mph down a road with 45 mph speed limit; text or talking on phone while driving (unfortunately a non-stoppable offense in our state); drunk driving. No one is telling them to get off the road or see a doctor/therapist. Well, except for the drunk drivers.
No, I have listened and I have made a choice. I am also not ignoring him.
If he were my child, or if I had legal guardianship over him, yes, I would simple take him to a doctor. However, he is a grown adult (in spite of some unsettling signs recently) and ultimately needs to make his mind up. This is particularly the case since he apparently has insight into his own problems (or lack there of). I suggested last night that he see a medical professional. He declined for the time being. The ball is in his court.
Absolutely insisting that he see a doctor, nagging about it when he doesn’t want to may or may not help his health situation. However, what behavior like that does do (particularity when it is habitual) is strain a marriage.
Yes, I personally do not consider him the best driver in the world. However, he has never had an accident and at 61 he has had exactly one moving violation in his life (which he got yesterday). There are many, many people out on the roads who have worse track records than that (or who may have undiagnosed medical conditions that may be affecting their driving). I can tell you that he is better than many of the drivers around here. I even avoid certain roads close to our nearby University after some crazy close calls with irresponsible young’uns. Racing (literally racing, as in more than one car involved) 100+ mph down a road with 45 mph speed limit; text or talking on phone while driving (unfortunately a non-stoppable offense in our state); drunk driving. No one is telling them to get off the road or see a doctor/therapist. Well, except for the drunk drivers.
Yes - we seem to forget on c-d that when dealing with another person we don't have complete control over them and that no matter how urgently we want to make something happen we can't necessarily do that. But OP please keep on the lookout for unusual occurrences and remind your husband that this appears to be a string/pattern that should be looked into. Good luck!
Thanks for all the speedy responses. I think that the next time there is an issue (soon, I’m sure), I’ll suggest that he go to his PCP and at the very least request a sleep study. He does snore. I think he might also have sleep apnea. He is overweight, but not obese (BMI = 27.9) and not in shape (he has never been athletic and appears more or less “allergic” to exercise). He sees doctors regularly for Crohn’s (very mild, totally controlled with medication) and so has had blood tests regularly every three months for the past 10 years. All his blood work and blood pressure is always in the normal range. But still, the sleep is definitely an issue.
Cognitive impairment/brain fog, mood swings, etc., are associated with Crohn's and/or some meds for it. I would explore that possibility before jumping to the Alzheimer's conclusion and look for ways to try improving those symptoms. Of course he needs to tell his doctor about the increasing brain fog at his next visit. Will he remember to discuss this with his doc?
You have been given some great advice. I urge you to keep a detailed list of the things that you observe, and that your husband shares with you, and send it to his doctor in advance of his next appointment.
Symptoms like you describe could be from something as minor, and curable, as a urinary tract infection or vitamin deficiency to something as serious as a brain tumor. And, many of the things in between can be very treatable.
If your husband has not had a recent, thorough check-up I would strongly recommend that you encourage him to see his doctor and for you to go with him.
BTW, there are many different types of dementia besides Alzheimer's. A few are very treatable and some, IMHO, are much worse than having Alzheimer's (such as Lewy Body Dementia -shudder, shudder). Often, one of the main diagnostic tools used is a detailed summary of behavior and temperament changes over the weeks and months. Your list could be extremely valuable in a getting a proper diagnosis.
Many natural solutions to dementia. Do not - repeat - do not go the traditional conventional medicine approach of drugs and more drugs. They do way more harm than good. Speaking from first hand experience and years of research. Good luck.
Many natural solutions to dementia. Do not - repeat - do not go the traditional conventional medicine approach of drugs and more drugs. They do way more harm than good. Speaking from first hand experience and years of research. Good luck.
The first sign of dementia for both my father and my husband was moving moving violations after having none previously ever. Then came sporadic grooming omissions such as not shaving or brushing teeth. I suspected dementia with my 84 yo dad of course. But my husband was only 72 when it began, and it took him getting lost in our own town before I woke up to the truth.
Possibly some TIAs have affected him - mini strokes can really affect personality changes, memory loss and other behavioral issues. Defintely agree with the advise of other posters - time to make an appointment with his physician.
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