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Two days ago I gave myself an early B-day present & scheduled a long-overdue appointment at my doctor's office, for today; my 51st birthday.
I have probably gained about 60 lbs since January. An urgent care visit in September revealed that my blood pressure is starting to rise. A heart murmer that used to only manifest during pregnacy has returned.
I think I know what it is because it's happened before but it may require surgery. By last summer, I knew I needed to be seen but I'm a caregiver for my very large, autistic 15 year old & to be blunt; I don't take care of myself. I delayed making an appointment until the school year started. Then, the school year started & he's been so much of a behavioral problem that the longest he's lasted in school is 3 days straight. My life since August:
Send him to school, try to get a million things done before the phone rings. Experience a growing sense of impending doom & start sitting & staring at my phone until it inevitably rings. Collect my angry child, take him home & try to prepare for the meeting, where everyone agrees that yes; his behavior is due to his disability. Send him back to school. Repeat.
As time went on, I gave up on seeing a doctor & then there are the what-if's: It could be cancer. I probably have CHF by now. Diabetes? And on & on ...
On Tuesday, my large autistic child accidentally sent a three-prong, 7 foot tall, outdoor lampost crashing down on me just by virtue of being big, strong & moving around a lot ... when he SHOULD have been at school ... but wasn't, because of his behavior ... And I guess I had just had it.
I made the appointment regardless of whether or not I had to take him. If the office didn't like it? Too bad. If he didn't like it? Too bad.
Turns out; he's in school today & I'm leaving for my appointment, right now. If the phone rings while I'm on the table? Too bad. I'll get there when I'm done. Happy Birthday to me & please God; don't let it be bad.
Two days ago I gave myself an early B-day present & scheduled a long-overdue appointment at my doctor's office, for today; my 51st birthday.
I have probably gained about 60 lbs since January. An urgent care visit in September revealed that my blood pressure is starting to rise. A heart murmer that used to only manifest during pregnacy has returned.
I think I know what it is because it's happened before but it may require surgery. By last summer, I knew I needed to be seen but I'm a caregiver for my very large, autistic 15 year old & to be blunt; I don't take care of myself. I delayed making an appointment until the school year started. Then, the school year started & he's been so much of a behavioral problem that the longest he's lasted in school is 3 days straight. My life since August:
Send him to school, try to get a million things done before the phone rings. Experience a growing sense of impending doom & start sitting & staring at my phone until it inevitably rings. Collect my angry child, take him home & try to prepare for the meeting, where everyone agrees that yes; his behavior is due to his disability. Send him back to school. Repeat.
As time went on, I gave up on seeing a doctor & then there are the what-if's: It could be cancer. I probably have CHF by now. Diabetes? And on & on ...
On Tuesday, my large autistic child accidentally sent a three-prong, 7 foot tall, outdoor lampost crashing down on me just by virtue of being big, strong & moving around a lot ... when he SHOULD have been at school ... but wasn't, because of his behavior ... And I guess I had just had it.
I made the appointment regardless of whether or not I had to take him. If the office didn't like it? Too bad. If he didn't like it? Too bad.
Turns out; he's in school today & I'm leaving for my appointment, right now. If the phone rings while I'm on the table? Too bad. I'll get there when I'm done. Happy Birthday to me & please God; don't let it be bad.
Two days ago I gave myself an early B-day present & scheduled a long-overdue appointment at my doctor's office, for today; my 51st birthday.
I have probably gained about 60 lbs since January. An urgent care visit in September revealed that my blood pressure is starting to rise. A heart murmer that used to only manifest during pregnacy has returned.
I think I know what it is because it's happened before but it may require surgery. By last summer, I knew I needed to be seen but I'm a caregiver for my very large, autistic 15 year old & to be blunt; I don't take care of myself. I delayed making an appointment until the school year started. Then, the school year started & he's been so much of a behavioral problem that the longest he's lasted in school is 3 days straight. My life since August:
Send him to school, try to get a million things done before the phone rings. Experience a growing sense of impending doom & start sitting & staring at my phone until it inevitably rings. Collect my angry child, take him home & try to prepare for the meeting, where everyone agrees that yes; his behavior is due to his disability. Send him back to school. Repeat.
As time went on, I gave up on seeing a doctor & then there are the what-if's: It could be cancer. I probably have CHF by now. Diabetes? And on & on ...
On Tuesday, my large autistic child accidentally sent a three-prong, 7 foot tall, outdoor lampost crashing down on me just by virtue of being big, strong & moving around a lot ... when he SHOULD have been at school ... but wasn't, because of his behavior ... And I guess I had just had it.
I made the appointment regardless of whether or not I had to take him. If the office didn't like it? Too bad. If he didn't like it? Too bad.
Turns out; he's in school today & I'm leaving for my appointment, right now. If the phone rings while I'm on the table? Too bad. I'll get there when I'm done. Happy Birthday to me & please God; don't let it be bad.
Best of luck with your appointment. And hope any news is not bad, or any worse than manageable.
Thank you both; for your kind words! I went & my phone didn't ring, the school didn't call, classrooms did not have to be evacuated, etc ... In my world; that's a good day.
I guess it's kind of weird to be so excited about a doctors appointment. Neither my weight nor my BP was as high as I had anticipated, my BP was actually WNL (within normal limits) but my weight is still very high; for me. I'm tall (5'10") so I'm told I carry it well aesthetically (not in my opinion) but I can't get away with the "big-boned" explanation because I'm not. I actually have a small frame for my height & I'm not built to carry this weight around.
I have an ultrasound scheduled next week to rule out what I suspect is another ovarian cyst. A large ovarian cyst; like the one that caused my right ovary to have to be removed a year ago. Also, some labs for thyroid.
It sounds better than what you were fearing in the beginning and I'm glad you got to make the appointment, and without any drama. You have to take care of you.
It sounds better than what you were fearing in the beginning and I'm glad you got to make the appointment, and without any drama. You have to take care of you.
^^ This. Hope everything works out for you, coschristi.
It sounds better than what you were fearing in the beginning and I'm glad you got to make the appointment, and without any drama. You have to take care of you.
Exactly. Like they say in the airplane safety demo, you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else.
Do you have any other support for help?
Is there a relative or other autistic parent that could give you some time off?
Is there any autistic community help where you live?
Wishing you luck and some relief!
Oh, and happy belated birthday!!
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