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... I didn’t think about low testosterone would that effect how aggressive one can be as well?
It could
Consider shower sex or pool sex.
Also, while you said that he 'works out' I wonder is he doing body building? Or Cardio? I bet he needs to focus on cardio.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnMelody2018
Well I guess it’s more than a hook up. He was my friend first and I care about him. But yea you’re right. I don’t know why none of this turns me off. If anything it just makes me want to help him and i feel more compassion for him
You are a really good friend.
You need to accompany him to all his medical appointments.
Well I guess it’s more than a hook up. He was my friend first and I care about him. But yea you’re right. I don’t know why none of this turns me off. If anything it just makes me want to help him and i feel more compassion for him
To answer your one question on: did it change or get better? The real answer is yes, it changed. It got worse. If that is even feasibly possible. You can have all the compassion and patience in this world and it WILL NOT change or miraculously make him functioning. I know. I tried diligently to find other intimate ways...NONE of which helped. He was by far the most delusional when it came to confronting this ailment. He simply said he "preferred" certain methods that would put a minuteman to shame. I took his ailment as My failing him. Luckily I sought help and stopped being his "catcher" so to speak. I deep down think he rather enjoyed avoiding pleasing me and took some comfort that he didn't really have to...because I was the compassionate one.
Boy everyone sure has stories. I just heard one about a cousin who had a band all his life and drank with the best of them and functioned, his wife finally divorced him a few yrs ago and just recently he ended up in prison for a drunk driving issue...we don't know all the facts...maybe this was his bottom he had to hit, and his last stops will be AA rooms. Hope we didn't stray too much but for the bing drinking comment...
Last edited by jaminhealth; 03-22-2019 at 11:38 AM..
I mean, to phrase it "put up with it" seems kinda mean spirited to me. It sounds like he has a personal condition. If you really like this guy I would say be understanding and try to see how y'all can work it. Either way you should always be respectful, as guys can get very sensitive about stuff like this and I'm sure if you had an equivalent issue you would be too.
Doesn't sound "common" to me, but I'm also 24. Idk about this guy, but at my age, losing an erection isn't a common problem.
Well it’s not only that “no answer is going to be right” it’s that it’s so complicated and he has an array of various symptoms which can be related and caused and effected by his alcohol usage, or some of it could be related while others it could be independent. One could’ve led to the other. It could be psychological, metabolical, physical who knows. I appreciate all the answers, it’s given me a lot to look into, address and learn about. And I can slip in questions to him and see where his thinking is at with all this. However, aside from all the symptoms hearing about the signs and warning signals of alcoholism is incredibly valuable and important to me bc many people in his and my life have suggested/hinted/joked (including himself by joking but then getting a little defensive and denying it when someone seriously suggests it) that he might be a functioning alcoholic or leading to one in the future and it’s important and helpful that I learn from the stories people are posting here so as I know what to look for and here an outsiders perspective on his behavior. It’s concerning me. And I was looking up low testosterone and eczema and they can be related to his heavy alcohol usage as well as they are symptoms of liver and kidney damage. So it’s really anyone’s guess. Bottom line. I agree with everyone here, he needs to see a doctor to assess all of his symptoms bc it honestly could be anything
That being said, should anyone have any more opinions, personal stories or suggestions or additional questions for me I would LOVE to continue hearing them as everyone’s input sheds new light on the matter and gives me more options and advice. Thank you!
Sounds like what OP said in original post, a shrink and blue pill are not the answers. Maybe a naturopathic MD to get to the root of the issues. We don't know what the bf has done so far.
Or even consult with homeopath as likes cure likes. Again I'm thinking in my path of healing and getting to the root.
The root is that he is OCD and sweat turns him off! That's a psychological cure, not any "path"
The blue pill will, at least, help him keep his erection long enough to satisfy OP
Oh wow whoever you are, you definitely know what you’re talking about. Thanks for saying his problems go beyond what I can do. I care about him so much that all I want to do is help and I feel like it’s maybe something I’m not doing for him or something I can do to stop it. But I guess that’s too much pressure on myself.
I do want him to revisit therapy, he doesn’t seem into it. And as for the holistic natural approach, my dad is actually heavily into that field and it has helped me tremendously in my life, however everytime I tell him about natural medicine he thinks it’s “hippy dippie garbage” soo yea. I can try to explain it differently to him.
And yes, he does self medicate. He’s slowed down this last year bc he works so late but he’s heavily into alcohol and binge drinking. I’m talking to point of oblivion where he doesn’t remember anything. In his early 20s he used to do coke a lot and stopped at 26. He’s 30 now. When he goes out on the weekends he usually downs 20-30 light beers and he told me this past summer he would get hammered twice a week. Once on Wednesday’s and then again on fridays or Saturday’s. He said once or twice he called out of work bc he was so hungover. But I know people do that so I never thought of it as a red flag
Definitely needs to see a urologist ED specialist. And a therapist.
Your man has a disconnect between his head and his penis.
Does he have these issues with other women or while masturbating?
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